Fix You
by Dr.A.Robbins
Summary: Edward: "Leukaemia. It was an awful sounding word. I'd always thought so. It sounded so elusive, so insubstantial. I suppose it was. Unlike other cancers there wasn't a tumour that could just be cut out. It was a cancer of the blood. The very thing that gave us all life now threatened my sister's." Stephanie owns anything recognisable.
1. Excitement

**Fix You**

"You're in a good mood this morning…" Esme mused as her daughter came down the stairs.  
"Hey…I resent that! I'm _always _in a good mood. It's Edward that's the moody one, remember?" Alice chided playfully as her mother laughed softly. It was true. Emmett, the oldest, now 22, was a muscle man with a heart made of marshmallow. Alice, the youngest at 17 and the only girl, was exuberant, bubbly and affectionate. Edward, 20, fit the mould of the stereotypical middle child. Affectionate in his own way he preferred his time alone to write music, poetry and to pine over Alice's best friend Bella.

"How could I forget?" Esme grinned, thinking fondly of her younger son. "I just meant that you were in an even better mood than usual. Any particular reason?"

Alice shrugged, her expression coy. Esme rounded the counter, smoothing her hand through her daughter's long black hair.  
"I know that look. Your excitement wouldn't have anything to do with the fact that the Hales are home from college for Spring Break this weekend?"

The Hales and the Cullens had been close for years. Esme and Whitney had met at University and quickly become best friends. Esme was the first to know about Whitney's boyfriend Monroe and Whitney was the first to meet Carlisle. The two couples had settled in the small town of Forks, Washington, at opposite ends of the same street. Growing up the children had all played in one yard or the other, but over the years it became increasingly obvious that more than just friendship was blossoming. It was no secret that Emmett worshiped the ground that 21 year old Rosalie walked on. The two had started dating in high school and were still going strong at Seattle University. Rosalie's twin brother Jasper had always been best friends with Emmett and Edward, but had felt inexplicably drawn to Carlisle and Esme's daughter Alice. It was clear to anyone that they felt very strongly about each other, but neither had made a move or spoken a word on the subject.

"Maybe. It'll be good to see them. It's weird not having Rose and Jazz around all of the time." Alice smiled softly, taking a sip of her orange juice.  
"Well have you been keeping in touch with them?" Esme asked as she ran her fingers through Alice's long hair.  
"Yeah, Rose and I try to Skype each other every couple of days, and sometimes Jasper's there too!"  
"That's the computer-chat video thing?"  
Alice chuckled softly at her mother's lack of technical knowledge.  
"Yeah, that's the one."

Esme glanced up as her husband descended the stairs, fixing his tie in the mirror.  
"Well how are my two favorite girls this morning?" He asked, gently planting a kiss on Alice's hair before cupping his wife's cheeks in his hands.  
"Good, Dad."  
"Wonderful, my love."  
"Glad to hear it. That's not waffles I smell, is it?"  
"It most certainly is, have a seat." Esme smiled, pouring fresh coffee into his waiting mug.

Carlisle smiled, glancing from his daughter to his wife. Esme was everyone's idea of the perfect mother. She was kind-hearted and generous, but with enough sass to keep three grown children in line. Emmett had certainly taken his good nature from her. Alice's striking features mirrored her mother's, and Edward's copper hair was exactly the shade of Esme's. Yes. Carlisle knew he was a very lucky man.

"So, any plans for this weekend princess?" Carlisle asked, taking a sip of his coffee.

He watched Alice shrug, though her expression was thoughtful.  
"The Hales are back this weekend. Just for the week though. I figured we'd all hang out, but I don't know what Emmett and Edward's plans are."

Carlisle chuckled.  
"Well sweetpea I think if Rosalie's in the mix then Emmett won't be far behind. Invite Bella alone and neither will Edward."

Alice giggled.  
"That's _exactly_ what I was thinking! Ok, I gotta get to school, I'll see you guys later." Faster than it could take Esme or Carlisle to even utter a word to their daughter, the little ball of energy had scooped up her last waffle and her book-bag simultaneously and was out the door.

"So what's the plan for this weekend? I cannot _wait_ to see you, Emmett's just not a good enough substitute on shopping trips."

Alice giggled as she heard Emmett's booming laugh in the background, before his face blocked Rosalie's on the computer screen. He was sticking his tongue out at her.  
"Hey, get your ugly face out of the way!" Rose and Alice teased at the same time, before Alice heard what sounded like a doorbell.  
"Oh…do you need to go?"

She watched Rose peak into the hallway.  
"Nope, it's just Jasper. Hey Jazz, Alice is on Skype, come say hi!"

Within seconds the most beautiful face was on Alice's computer screen. His eyes were bright and his hair was tangled. The sheen of sweat on his face told Alice he'd been at the gym.  
"Hey little darlin! How's Forks?"

Alice was sure she was blushing.  
"It's good. Wet, but nothing new about that. How's Seattle?"  
"Dull without you and Edward here."

Alice smiled, biting on her lip softly. Edward had decided to forgo a regular college experience after being accepted to a prestigious music academy in the area, so he still lived at home as well.  
"Well you'll have a super week home then won't you?" Alice smiled, gently curling a lock of her long hair around her finger.  
"Sure will darlin'. Now I gotta go shower, Rose is making faces at me like I smell. I'll see you this weekend!" With a quick wave he disappeared, leaving an amused Rose looking back at Alice from the screen.  
"Cheer up short-stuff, he'll be home this weekend."

Alice blushed, giggling softly.  
"Short stuff? You've clearly been spending way too much time with my brother."  
"I know…" Her voice trailed off as she looked off-screen. "Speaking of sweetie, he wants-" Alice squealed, her hands immediately at her ears. "Ew! Rosalie Hale what have I told you about that! Turn the computer off, I don't want to know!"

Alice giggled as her brother's face came onto the screen.  
"You're just jealous your 'lover-boy' is here instead of there. See you in a few days peanut!" Alice laughed softly and shut the lid of her laptop as the convo was ended. She had the feeling it was going to be a long couple of days.


	2. Concern

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As usual, I own nothing except my little plot.**

* * *

**EsmePOV**

I hummed softly as I finely chopped the onions and celery, sliding them neatly from the chopping board to the heated pot on the stove. Only two days until Emmett was home. The house was frighteningly quiet without him, save for when Edward was practicing on the piano in the hallway. I had decided to make an abundance of his favourite chilli; some for tonight and then stacks to keep refrigerated during the week to quell his seemingly unending appetite.  
"Well something certainly smells nice…"

I could feel my face spread into a smile as I heard my husband speak, and before I could turn he had snaked his hands around my waist, his chin resting gently on my shoulder as he lightly pecked my cheek.  
"Enough chilli to feed an army, sweetheart?" His tone was teasing.  
"No darling, just enough for dinner. And Emmett." He laughed loudly, releasing his arms from around my waist.  
"Would you like some help?"  
"No dear, you've just come home, sit yourself down and take a little break, this is no trouble at all."  
"Esme darling I could say the same for you. The house looks spotless; something tells me you have had a busy day as well. I'd _love_ to help you."

At exactly seven o'clock I heard Carlisle call Edward and Alice into the dining room for dinner as I poured water into four glasses. Although it had been years since Emmett had started college the house still felt unnaturally quiet without the additional footsteps of the Hale children and the constant laughter that seemed to fill the room. Evenings now were much more subdued and serene. Though I enjoyed the close company of my husband and youngest two, I could barely contain my excitement for the coming weekend.

As I entered the dining room Edward rose from his seat, smiling softly and lifting the water glasses from my hands before lightly kissing my cheek.  
"Thank you sweetheart. The chilli is in the casserole dish and the rice is in the bowl with the spoon. Help yourselves."  
"Thanks mom." Alice spoke quietly. As I glanced to her I noticed her eyes lacked their usual mischievous sparkle, and her smile lacked its usual warmth. I frowned softly, reaching to touch her arm.  
"Don't you worry sweetpea, Emmett, Rose and Jasper will be home before we know it." I glanced to Carlisle, who seemed to smile as I included the Hales into our _home_. It was second nature to me, they felt as though they belonged here.  
"We should have a huge meal to celebrate, invite Monroe and Whitney as well. Perhaps grill out in the garden, the weather is going to be lovely this weekend."

I beamed.  
"Oh Carlisle that's a marvelous idea!"  
"Yea, it sounds great Dad." Edward enthused, dishing himself a generous serving of chilli. "It'll give Alice a chance to catch up with Jasper." He teased, winking to Alice.  
"Now Edward leave your sister alone, or we'll invite Bella for you to swoon over."

That had him. He looked to me, ascertained that I was serious, then nodded, tucking into his food. My gaze shifted back to Alice.  
"Don't listen to him sweetheart, he's just teasing."

She merely nodded, pushing her food around her plate slowly.  
"Alice, aren't you hungry?" Carlisle asked, clearly noticing her apparent lack of appetite as well.  
"Not really Daddy. I don't feel so good." Carlisle reached to Alice's forehead, gently placing his hand there. He knew Alice only called him _Daddy_ whenever she was ill, or wanted something.  
"You don't have a fever. Do you feel sick?"

Alice nodded, looking to me.  
"I'm sorry mom, this looks delicious, but -"  
"No darling, not to worry. We can reheat it for you later if you're feeling better. Go on upstairs and I'll come and check on you when we're finished."

She nodded, moving from her chair without her usual grace or speed, and trudged upstairs. I sighed softly, looking to my husband.  
"Oh Esme, don't worry yourself. It's probably an upset stomach or a touch of the flu. She'll be right as rain in a few days."

I nodded, though I was still worried. It was unusual for Alice to be ill, and the whole house felt it when she was. We missed her exuberant and infectious chatter, and it always made us uneasy to see her not feeling her best. Emmett had always poked fun at us when Alice was sick, saying, "Come on guys, Pixie will be fine in a few days, she just needs to recharge her Duracell!" He knew our incessant worrying would do her no good, so I resolved to just give her what she needed until she picked up.

Edward cleared his throat, standing.  
"That was delicious Mom. I'll clear this up and then go see if Alice wants any help with her homework, she said she had a ton."  
"Alight darling. Take her up some water and some aspirin, and some Pepto Bismol, and ask her if she needs anything else."

Edward smiled wryly, the corner of his mouth twitching upwards.  
"Yes Mom, don't worry."

I smiled, letting myself calm. It was easy to overreact when any of my children were under the weather, but I had to accept that at 17 Alice was more than capable of taking care of herself. Carlisle's smile was almost teasing. It was as though he was silently remembering my fussing over the children, as they grew old enough to take care of themselves. I huffed lightly, making my husband chuckle.  
"Oh Esme, sweetheart, she's seventeen. I know she's your baby but please, resist the urge to check on her every hour?"

A couple of hours later I knocked on Alice's door to check on her. Carlisle would be proud of my restraint. When there was no answer I opened it tentatively, smiling softly when I saw that she had fallen asleep on her bed, curled into a small ball. Removing the book from her hand I set it on the desk before tucking the duvet gently over her small form and pressing a light kiss to her forehead. She shifted a little in response, sighing softly in her sleep. I turned her lamp off before stopping at the door to take a last look, hoping she'd feel much more herself in the morning.


	3. Return

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**APOV**

I woke at around 5am the following morning. I guess that's the downside of falling asleep before it's even dark out. I sat up slowly, assessing how I felt after a long rest. Tired, still, but I was bound to wake up in the shower. A little shaky, but I was also starving, which was a good sign.

I descended the stairs very quietly - I doubted anyone else would like to be awake at this hour – and made my way into the kitchen. A little while later I was flicking the channels with the volume low, trying to find something other than porn or 24hr news. Weren't infomercials on all night? Sighing in frustration I took another bite of toast as I scooped Vogue from the coffee table. Much better. I was so immersed in an article about the late and utterly fabulous Alexander McQueen that I didn't hear anyone coming down the stairs. I heard my mom gasp, and I swear I must have jumped about a foot in the air.

"Geeze! You scared the crap out of me!" I sat the magazine on the sofa.  
"Well you gave me a fright as well…I didn't expect anyone to be awake at…a quarter past six. How are you feeling?"

I smiled softly as the surprise disappeared from her face, replaced with loving concern.

"Much better. Starving, so I had like three pieces of toast already."  
"I'm glad. You know I hate to see you or your brothers feeling unwell."

I nodded as mom placed herself beside me on the couch.  
"I know you're practically a woman now but I'm still allowed to fuss over my baby, aren't I?"

I giggled softly, nodding my head as I leaned into her embrace.  
"You wouldn't be you if you didn't. It would just be weird."

I let my eyes flutter closed as my mom began to run her hands through my long, dark hair, marveling at how she always knew how to relax me.  
"Are you feeling up to going to school? It's Friday, I doubt you'd miss that much…"  
"No I'm fine, I want to go. I need to feel productive until Rose and Em and Jazz get back, otherwise I'll mope around all day waiting for them."

This elicited a chuckle from Mom.  
"I hardly think anyone could ever say that _you _mope. But if you're sure…"  
"I'm sure Mom, thanks." I assured her, kissing her cheek as I got up, heading upstairs to shower.

* * *

It was possibly the longest school day I've ever endured. I could barely sit still in any of my classes I was so excited. They wouldn't be back until later in the evening, but I was starting to think that maybe I could have just mooched around the house waiting for them. It's not like I was concentrating here anyways.

Bella found it hysterical. She kept nudging my arm in English to make sure I was taking notes and not staring off into space; exciting beyond belief about the weekend. Our last class was Chemistry, and if the entire day had dragged, this final period was excruciatingly slow.

The minute the bell sounded I was up like a rocket, and home in the record time of 8 and a half minutes. My dad chuckled as I came bounding through the door.  
"What did you do, teleport home? You know not to drive so fast, Alice." I nodded. I did understand, but I was far too excited to pay any real attention.  
"Sorry Dad. What are you doing home already?"  
"I booked a half-day, remember? I didn't want to be getting back later than Emmett."

I smiled to myself. Dad was not only incredible at his job, but he also made sure that family was his top priority.  
"It's just as well, if you got home after Emmett you'd have starved. I texted and told him about the chilli."  
Dad chuckled again.  
"Ah yes…I didn't even think about that. I spent most of my day thinking about you, sweetheart. Did you feel alright at school?"

"Yea, I felt fine. I guess it was just a bad spell last night."  
"Well I'm glad." He smiled, his hand resting gently on my shoulder.  
"Why don't you get your homework out of the way, it's only a few hours until they get here."

Just as I was proofing my essay for American History my phone buzzed. I grabbed it from my bed, smiling as Rose's name flashed beside the message.

_Hey cutie, hit a little delay, and one extra person for dinner tonight, just a head's up to Esme and Mom. I'll explain and apologize to you later. Be there in 15! Xxx_

I frowned softly. She'd apologize to me? Why would I care who else came for dinner? I shrugged, saving my amended essay and shutting the lid of my Macbook. I scooted over to my closet and pulled out my favorite jeans and a cream, cashmere sweater. I quickly retouched my makeup, smiling to myself. Though it had been months since I'd seen Jasper in person I knew it was silly trying to go over the top to look great. I just wanted to look myself. After all, that's what he said he liked most about me, that I never tried to be anything I wasn't. I made sure I was presentable before heading downstairs where Mom and Dad were chatting with Rose and Jasper's parents.  
"Hey pumpkin! My, you just get more gorgeous every time I see you!" I giggled, hugging Whitney. "You see me every other day!"  
"Well that doesn't mean you don't! You excited about my Rose and Jasper coming home?"  
"Gosh yes! Oh…that reminds me, I got a message from Rose. They'll be about another fifteen minutes, and they're bringing a guest with them."  
"Not to worry, the more the merrier." My mom smiled as my dad planted a kiss on her hair.

Edward chuckled, looking up from his regular spot at the piano.  
"Or less…as Emmett's going to discover when he needs to share his chilli."

As Dad and I were making sure the candles in the table centerpiece were all lit, we heard a key in the door, and the familiar boom of Emmett's voice.  
"Family! I'm hooooome!" I squealed, sprinting to the foyer and into his huge, waiting arms.  
"Midget! It's so good to see you." He smiled, releasing me and kissing my forehead.  
"Alice!" Rosalie shrieked with excitement, barging past as Mom and Dad embraced Emmett. Rose swept me up in a hug, whispering in my ear.  
"I'm sorry..."

I frowned, pulling away. Why did she keep apologizing to me? Over Rose's shoulder appeared a mass of blonde hair identical in color to hers. The butterflies that had been nesting in my stomach all day finally released themselves in a flutter of activity as his eyes met mine.  
"Hey darlin'." He smiled, his lip curling up adorably at one side. He cleared his throat before addressing everyone in the room.

"I'd like y'all to meet Maria."


	4. Tension

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**RPOV**

I couldhave _killed _my brother, had he not been my twin, and overall a great person. But he could be so blind sometimes! I was sure he felt _something_ for Alice, given the way he acted when she was around. He was so shy, only stealing quick glances at her, and coyly smiling when she glanced back. It was a game they'd played for years, although neither was particularly subtle about it. The sexual tension they emitted whilst in the same room was palpable enough to get Emmett going, which was quite a feat, bearing in mind how lovably clueless he was about non-couples.

When he showed up to our dorm room a couple of nights ago with Maria in tow I assumed she was a study partner. A clingy study partner, but nothing more. I was wrong. She was all over him, and he didn't look like he minded at all. Emmett had been hassling him since they walked through the door together, but I'd already had enough. My eyes nearly fell out of their sockets when he said he was bringing her home with us. My thoughts had immediately turned to Alice. Perhaps Jasper was trying to deny his obvious feelings for Emmett's little sister, but that was not an invitation for him to invite a brand-new-hopefully-not girlfriend to join us.

* * *

After a few awkward moments in the foyer, Esme smiled softly and led us into the dining room. Emmett took a deep breath, obviously appreciating the glorious smell. I had to chuckle at his antics. I wasn't sure whether he was trying to diffuse the tension that Maria's arrival had created, or whether he was just being himself; completely oblivious. Whichever, I was grateful. As I looked to Alice, who also managed a giggle at her oldest brother's antics, it looked as though it had worked.

As usual Esme had outdone herself. I could see why her chilli was Emmett's favourite. Although there were almost a dozen of us around their huge table Emmett managed to put away a good portion of it for himself.  
"Don't worry Emmett, your mother has made enough to feed a small village for the week." Carlisle joked lovingly, clinking his glass with my Dad before glancing to Alice.  
"I'm glad you're able to eat some this evening sweetheart."

Emmett turned from beside me, looking his baby sis over.  
"What's wrong with Mom's chilli, Short Stuff?"

Esme chuckled lightly, swatting Emmett's huge arm.  
"No, it's not like that dear, Alice wasn't feeling too well last night."  
"Aw Little One…you feeling ok now?" Emmett asked, nothing but concern in his voice. Alice nodded fervently, rolling her eyes.  
"Yes, guys I'm fine. Totally and completely. You all worry too much."

I smiled, looking to my Dad.  
"Don't worry Alice, they'll still be the same when you're off at college. I think it's because we're girls." Alice rolled her eyes at this.  
"I don't understand that logic at all. Boys are such babies when they're sick." Her comment was quite rightly targeted towards Emmett, who grumbled a response. I heard Jasper chuckle from beside me.  
"Alice is right Em, you're particularly bad for it. The girls can handle themselves." I caught him grinning coyly at Alice as he spoke, and my temper flared again. How _dare_ he do that with Maria there? Yet another thing I'd have to apologize to Alice for.

* * *

"So where was Bella tonight? I thought you were going to invite her for Edward to drool over."

Alice and I were sitting on her bed whilst I showed her some recent pictures we'd taken at SU. I knew I'd have to apologize for my brother's behavior sooner or later, but admittedly, I was stalling.  
"I did invite her, but she said she and her dad had been invited down to La Push for a bonfire or something. Sounded like she'd made someone a promise 'cause I could tell she really wanted to come."

"Poor Bells." I smiled at the nickname. Emmett referred to her as 'Bells' frequently.  
"We should do something with her this week. Just us girls."

I looked to Alice, her small hands toying with a stray end of her comforter. Her delicate brows were creased into a frown.  
"I guess…"

Well…now was as good a time as any.  
"Look babe, I'm so sorry about Jasper and Maria. I had no idea until a few days ago. To be honest I don't know _what _he sees in her. She's.. - "

Alice interrupted me.  
"She's beautiful Rose. Just like a more exotic version of you. Like she's jumped off a catwalk in Madrid."

I sighed, running my hand through Alice's long, inky locks.

"She's not you, though. I _know_ my brother. We shared the freaking womb together, and I know he feels _something_ for you. I wish he'd stop being such a jackass and admit it to himself.

She shrugged and shook her head, her expression sad.  
"Rose we've been best friends forever. Maybe that's all he sees me as."

"Well I doubt it. Anway…we'll see what the boys say about this week, k?"

Alice nodded, resting her head to mine as she sighed tiredly.  
"Thanks Rose."  
"No problem. I'm beat, you want to help me set the blow-up mattress up?" It was a ritual we'd had ever since I'd been away at college. I'd sleepover at Alice's the night I got back, and we'd share everything we'd missed in our months apart.  
"Sure, I'll get it out if you want to use the bathroom first."

I nodded, heading into Alice's en suite to change and brush my teeth. I gazed around, smiling. Instead of the silver accessories she'd had in here last time, everything was now a deep turquoise. As I fixed my hair out of my face and stepped back into the bedroom I frowned softly. The blow-up mattress lay in its usual spot beside Alice's bed, half inflated. Alice was curled on top of her own bed, already fast asleep, still dressed in her jeans. Alice never fell asleep before me. Nights like this usually ended in me tossing a pillow at her head at 2am in an attempt to stop her ever-enthusiastic chatter. It was barely past 10pm. Not wanting to wake her, I slotted carefully onto the bed beside her, tucking the duvet over us both, willing myself to sleep.


	5. Unfair

**Again, I must extend a huge thank-you to everyone who's added me to their alerts, and an even bigger thanks to those who have taken the time to leave me a review. I really, really appreciate them. On with the story, and as usual I'm just borrowing Stephanie's characters and toying with them ;) **

**JPOV**

Rose was pissed at me, that much was clear. She barely spoke two words to me at dinner, and then marched upstairs with Alice as soon as they'd helped Esme clean up. The daggers she was shooting from her eyes in my direction were a dead giveaway as well. I didn't much appreciate it, and I could tell it was making Maria feel uncomfortable. She'd been nothing but polite all night and my sister had done nothing but make her feel unwelcome.

"She wasn't like this when we met a few days ago. Maybe she's stressed about being home?" Maria offered as we strolled up the block to my parent's house. I sighed, shaking my head.  
"Nah, Rosie feels most comfortable at home."

"Must have been me, then." Maria sighed, slipping her hand from mine.  
"Hey…" My hand found it's way to her back and I rubbed over it gently. "Don't think like that. I'm going to give her a good talking to tomorrow."  
"Oh Jasper…I can't ask you to do that for me…" Her face fell as she looked me in the eyes.  
"The hell I can't! If I'd been anything less than nice to Emmett she'd have beaten me to a pulp. It's only fair. I'm going to fix it."

Her lips curled into a smirk as she nodded. "Thanks Jasper."

* * *

The next morning I awoke early, the events of last night still fresh in my mind. I looked over at Maria who was sleeping soundly, a slight pout on her lips. I kissed them gently, knowing it wouldn't wake her. Slipping out of bed I grabbed a piece of printer paper and scrawled a quick note.

_Headed over to the Cullen's to talk to Rose. Make yourself at home with my parents. I'll be back soon, J x_

I pulled on a pair of sweats a t-shirt, rooting around for my flip-flops. I tensed a little as I stepped into the cool breeze, quickly making my way down the street to the Cullens. I knocked gently on the door, although I knew at least Carlisle and Esme would be awake. The door opened a minute later, and Esme smiled warmly. Even in her lilac dressing down and slippers she exuded poise and glamour. This was definitely where Alice got it from. _Wait…Alice? Where did that errant thought come from?_

"Good morning Jasper. You're up early. You're father told me you'd sleep until at least noon!" I chuckled, shaking my head.  
"No, not anymore. I usually go for a run or a workout in the morning."  
"Well come on in, I've got freshly baked muffins and coffee in the kitchen."

I grinned. This woman was amazing. Nearly as amazing as my own Momma. It was no wonder they were so close.  
"You're amazing Esme, really." I kissed her cheek as I stepped inside. Esme blushed and shook her head.  
"She is. I always tell her so, but she'll never believe me." Carlisle spoke, coming down the stairs and kissing his wife's hair.  
"Good morning Jasper. What can we do for you?"  
"Good morning Carlisle. I'm just here to swipe some freshly baked muffins. Oh, and I wanted a word with my sister, she didn't say when she'd be back."

Concern flashed in Esme's kind eyes.  
"Is everything alright, sweetheart?"  
"Yes of course, I just wanted a word."  
"Well I can go and see if she and Alice are awake, although I'd doubt it at this hour, they're usually still giggling at 2am" She smiled fondly, tucking a stray strand of hair behind her ear. We all looked towards the stairs as we heard Rosalie speak.  
"I'm awake Esme, Alice fell asleep at 10pm and she's still out cold now. Hey Jazz…"

I didn't miss the looks of concern between Esme and Carlisle, however they quickly composed themselves.  
"Oh, well good morning Rose. I trust you slept well?"  
"I did, thank you Carlisle."  
"Darling, how about we check on Alice, give these two some privacy."

Carlisle nodded, his hand placed gently on Esme's back. Rose made her way down the stairs, stopping at the last one.

"What's up Jasper?"  
"What's up Rose? Your attitude, that's what's up! Where the hell do you get off acting like that around Maria? It's as if you deliberately wanted to make her feel uncomfortable! Well congratulations, it worked!

Rose scoffed, keeping her voice quiet.  
"Oh come off it Jasper! How blind can you be? You've known her, what, a week? She's so clingly and needy, and anytime she plays the pouty, sad eyes look you give her whatever she wants! It's sickening. Not to mention flashing her in front of Alice's face!" She hissed.  
"How the hell is Alice relevant to this conversation?" I spat back.

Rose laughed. She actually laughed.  
"God you're even blinder than I thought. Jasper she cares so much about you! And I _know_ you care about her, so don't try to deny it. You two are so flirty and happy when you're around each other, and now you flounce in here with some girlfriend you've had for a week and shove it right under Alice's nose! She was _so_ excited about this week, but you've gone and made a mess of it all."

That stung. More than I wanted to admit. I cared deeply for Alice, and I'd never wanted to hurt her. As if she knew this, Rose's expression softened.  
"I didn't mean to go off on one at you, I'm sorry. But I _don't_ like Maria, and I _don't_ like what her presence is doing to Alice. I know you care about her Jazz...so just, don't hurt her, k?"

I nodded, sighing softly as I ran my hand through my hair.  
"Ok Rose. What time will I tell Mom and Dad you'll be home?"

"Before lunch. I'm gonna hang here for a bit after Alice gets up, and go wake up Emmett in the mean time." She smirked softly, which I couldn't help but mirror.  
"Ok, I'll see ya."

She nodded once, disappearing back upstairs, leaving me standing in the front hallway. I sighed.

I had to talk to Maria.


	6. Examining

**I can't thank you guys enough for your continued support and kind words. You guys are awesome! This chapter is a fraction shorter than usual, but I don't like setting myself certain word limit targets otherwise it doesn't flow like I'd want it to. As usual I don't own the world or the characters, I just like to play ;) **

**Carlisle POV**

I exchanged a concerned look with my wife as we heard Rosalie tell us that Alice had not only gone to bed early, but that she was still asleep now. It was obvious that Rosalie and Jasper wanted to talk and I wanted to check on Alice, but the words were out of Esme's mouth before mine.

"Darling, how about we check on Alice, give these two some privacy."

I nodded, my hand placed gently on Esme's back as I followed her upstairs and into our daughter's room. The blow-up mattress that Rose should have been sleeping on was only half inflated; it looked as though they had both shared the bed. Esme moved to perch on the end whilst I knelt gently in front of my baby girl.  
"Alice? Sweetheart…?" Esme's voice was soft and calming, as were her gentle fingers through our daughter's long, inky locks. In moments Alice's features scrunched a little and she yawned. I couldn't help but smile, as it brought back the memories of taking her home from the hospital 17 and a half short years ago. She'd barely ever cried, instead just slept peacefully or gazed up at us, much as she was doing now. Her dark blue eyes blinked sleepily, smiling softly as they focused on me.  
"Hey…"  
"Hi sweetheart. How're you doing?"  
"I'm fine. Sleepy, but fine." As if to illustrate this point she yawned again, bringing her hand to her mouth.  
"S'up?"

Esme's hand moved from Alice's hair to gently rub her back.  
"Rose said you fell asleep before it was even 10pm. That's not like you darling. Now it's nearly 9am. I've never known you to sleep for that long unless you're unwell. Are you sure you're feeling alright?"

Alice turned her gaze from me to look at Esme. She was silent for a few moments, no doubt assessing for herself how she felt.  
"Fine, really. Maybe pretty tired but nothing else. I don't feel sick or anything."

I was thoroughly convinced she was telling me the truth, but years of medical training pressed me to examine further.  
"Darling can you sit up and face me, please?"

Alice rolled her eyes but complied, sitting and facing me with those large, inquisitive orbs.  
"What are you doing?"  
"Running some checks." I answered, gently pressing my fingers to her glands. They were slightly raised.  
"Es, sweetheart, can you fetch the thermometer from our bathroom?"

Alice frowned and I realized I was still poking at her neck.  
"You think I'm getting Strep or something?"  
"I'm not sure yet. Thank you." I glanced to Esme as she handed the thermometer to me. I placed it gently under Alice's tongue as she muttered.  
"Some wake-up call this is…"

I smiled to her, gently placing my hand on her knee as we waited for a few minutes. Satisfied it had been long enough I took the thermometer out, studying the reading.  
"What's the verdict Doc, am I gonna die?" Alice quipped, trying to peer at the numbers upside down.  
"99.8…definitely a slight fever. We'll keep an eye on it today."

"No! We're all going to La Push today, we've had it planned for weeks…" She pouted glumly.  
"Sorry kiddo, you know the drill. You have a fever you stay in bed. You know it's for your own good." I reasoned, kissing her forehead as Alice tried the puppy-dog eyes on her mother.  
"Oh Alice…I'm sorry darling. If you rest up today you'll probably be good as new tomorrow and you'll have so much fun with Rose and Jasper and Emmett for the rest of the week."  
"Fine…" She sighed, frowning a little.  
"Is Rose still here?"  
"Yeah, I'm here." She smiled softly, coming back into the room.  
"S'up chicken?"  
"Apparently I'm sick." Alice pouted, directing a look to me and using air quotations around the word sick.

* * *

I smiled and shook my head as I guided Esme out of the room, giving the girls some privacy. We reached the bottom of the stairs just as Jasper was heading out of the front door.  
"Jasper, you didn't take any muffins."

He smiled politely. He had always been a gentleman.  
"Yeah, I didn't want to snoop around the kitchen when y'all were upstairs."  
"Oh nonsense! Well come and have one now, and you can take a bunch back to Maria and your folks." Esme fussed, practically dragging the poor chap into the kitchen as I threw him an apologetic smile.

Jasper perched on one of the breakfast stools as Esme gathered an assortment of her muffins into a basket for Jasper to take back.  
"Do you think she should have any blood taken? Rule out anything serious?" Of course she was talking about Alice. I nodded.  
"Yes, we should. I'd give it a good few days though. It could just be a virus. If she's not her usual perky self by the end of the week then I think we have cause to worry."

I noticed Jasper frowning softly as I spoke. He'd always had a soft spot for our girl and his concern for her wellbeing was sweet.  
"Is she still feeling sick?" He asked, nibbling on his own muffin.  
"No, although she slept a good deal longer than she usually does. Her glands are slightly raised and she's running a low fever. It could be nothing whatsoever, but best to get it all checked."

Jasper nodded, smiling kindly and thanking my wife as she handed over a ridiculous amount of muffins.  
"Well tell her to feel better real soon, we don't want her missing out on all of the fun this week."  
"Of course Jasper. We'll see you later." Esme murmured, snuggling to my side as we watched him leave.


	7. Diagnosis

**Once again the support you guys give me is awesome, and much, much loved! I found this chapter in particular very hard to write, and you'll begin to see why as more is revealed. Leave me a review with your thoughts?**

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**Apov**

The weekend dragged by. I felt awful that the others decided to cancel their plans just to keep me company. They kept telling me they didn't mind, and I knew they didn't, but I still couldn't help feeling guilty. Maria spent the entire weekend looking bored, and barely spoke two words to Jasper. It was like she was mad with him for wanting to stay here with me. Mom had talked everyone into staying and having Chinese on Sunday night when I pulled Jasper to the side.

"What's up, are you feeling ok?" He asked, looking me over.

I sighed in exasperation.  
"I'm getting so sick of everyone asking me that, yes, I feel fine! Well…not _fine_ fine, but fine enough that I don't need to be lying around all day. And you guys shouldn't be either. You deserve to go have some fun."

"Don't be ridiculous, we don't mind. The weather's hardly beckoning us outside, and the gang's all together, I don't see the problem." He ran a hand through that gorgeous blonde hair of his.  
"Your girlfriend doesn't seem so thrilled." I contested, raising my eyebrow.  
"Hey it's nothing like that…she's just not used to this weather, and meeting y'all, she's shy." He explained, gesturing into the den, where Maria was making no effort to talk to either Rose or Bella, let alone Edward or Emmett.  
"Ok…I just thought that she wanted an out, and I was offering you one. It does mean a lot to me that you guys want to spend time with me too, but don't feel like you can't go anywhere." I sighed softly, tucking my hands into the pocket of my new turquoise Juicy Couture jumpsuit. Hey as Rose says, at least I do 'sick' in style.  
"Don't worry about us Alice." He spoke softly as his lip curling into a lazy smile that made my stomach flip, and _not _in a nauseous way.

* * *

By the time Tuesday rolled around I was so fed up. My so-called symptoms were showing no signs of going anywhere or getting any worse. We had the week off school, which I was glad about, I hated missing any classes when I felt well enough to go.  
"Maybe you've got Mono…" Bella mused as she tried to sit still. I was painting her toenails.  
"Don't be silly, you need to kiss people to get Mono, and I've had _no_ action in that department." I huffed, moving to her other foot as she fought an onslaught of giggles.  
"Oh my God you do not! Your dad's a doctor and you still actually believe that? Jake had it and he'd had 'no action in that department' either" She giggled, air quoting what I'd said.  
"Well fine, I don't think I have it anyways. I don't care; I'm fed up of not knowing. When my dad gets home I'm making him take me in for some tests."  
"Tonight?" Bella inquired, inspecting now finished nails.  
"Well this afternoon. He's only working a half day today."  
"Nervous?"  
"Yea, I don't like having blood taken, it's like watching your life being sucked out through a crazy-straw."

Bella laughed, swatting me with a pillow.  
"Hey, at least you don't pass out. Or throw up. I threw up on the nurse's shoes last time I had a blood test."  
"Don't hit me, it's not my fault you have the world's weakest stomach!" I giggled, grabbing the pillow and tossing it back to her.  
"Maybe Edward will hold your hand next time you need one." I pressed. Those two were ridiculous. Edward was forever brooding over exactly how to make the first move while Bella convinced herself she wasn't good enough for him. In a matter of seconds most of the blood in her body made it's way to her cheeks.  
"Alice…"  
"Fiiiine I won't mention him again. At least not for a few days." I winked.

I was getting increasingly restless as the afternoon drew on, so much so that I actually welcomed the trip down to the hospital.  
"You seem oddly excited about this." Dad sighed, raising an eyebrow as we sat in the waiting room.  
"It's the first time I've been out of the house in days, and hopefully whatever they say means you will all stop worrying." I fought a yawn as I spoke, which Dad noticed.  
"Alice…it's not normal for you to be this tired, not with the amount of sleep you're getting at the moment."

I nodded. I knew he was right. I quickly followed him into the exam room as my name was called, and listened while my Dad and Dr. Weston spoke. After a little poking and prodding he let the nurse take my blood, and I giggled as I looked away from it, much to my Dad's confusion. I waved it off, explaining Bella's problems with the painless procedure. He reminded me never to let him take her blood.

Dad was oddly quiet as we waited for my blood test to come back. His silence and glances toward me caught my eye as I tried to concentrate on the new Vogue magazine in the waiting room. His expression only scared me more when a completely different doctor approached us. By the look on Dad's face he not knew him, but knew why _he_ was coming to speak to us. He glanced to Dad then held his hand out to shake mine.  
"My name's Dr. Young. Why don't we go into my office and we'll discuss your blood work. They'd taken enough samples to draw many tests, the results to which he skimmed over pretty quickly. I did not have IBS, nor did I have Diabetes or Mono. Strangely enough none of this came as much of a consolation to me. As I felt my anxiety levels start to rise I tried to focus on the questions Dr. Young was asking me.  
"Have you felt unusually tired lately?" I nodded, and I couldn't help but yawn as I answered.  
"Have you had had any unusual bleeding lately? Or unusually heavy menstrual cycles?" I nodded yes to the second part of that question.

"Your Dad says your glands have been up and you've been running a fever?" I looked to him as I nodded for that question. His eyes were concentrated on Dr. Young. I suddenly had a very bad feeling about all of this.

I gazed back to Dr. Young as he sighed quietly, looking to Dad then me as he removed his glasses.  
"These symptoms you're presenting with point to many different things, but based on the results of your blood work, which shows an abnormally high white cell count…it leads us to believe that you have what is called Acute Myelogenous Leukemia. I'm sorry."


	8. Reactions

**Oh please don't hate me! I feel awful doing this to poor Alice and the Cullens, but I have a master plan, I promise! Just hang in there…for…I don't know how long, but let's all have faith, k! I know this chapter doesn't really move the story along that much, but I felt it was necessary to have in there! Your reviews and messages mean SO much to me, so please keep them coming!**

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**EsmePOV**

I returned home from the retirement home where I volunteer to find Edward sitting by the piano, and the noise of video games coming from the den.  
"Hello sweetheart. Where's your father, he said he was taking a half day but his car's not in the driveway."

Edward edged away from me just a little, closing the lid of his piano. I guess I'd been trying to run my fingers through his unruly hair in an attempt to tame it. What can I say, it's habit.  
"He took Alice to the hospital."

In that moment my stomach dropped, as if someone had just crammed a lead weight down my throat. Edward quickly back-peddled when he looked at me.  
"Relax, Mom she's ok. She was just annoyed that everyone kept saying she was sick when she wasn't actually feeling that bad. Dad took her to get blood taken and everything."  
"Oh." I breathed, finding it easier to take a breath than I had a moment ago. The thought of anything being wrong with my Alice was too much to handle.

"We've been invited over for dinner with Whitney and Monroe tonight, Rose told me earlier, but I said we'd wait and see what the doctor tells Alice. Does that sound ok?"

I smiled softly. My Edward was such a sweetheart.  
"Yes dear, it sounds just fine."

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**CarlislePOV**

I should have known earlier. The signs were all there. They were staring me straight in the face and I glazed over them thinking nothing was wrong. How could anything be wrong with our Alice? She was perfect. Even as a tiny baby, all of six pounds when we brought her home from the hospital, with those huge, expressive eyes and sweet temperament. Seventeen years on and she was still my little angel, but now her eyes were wide with fear, and she was looking to me. As a doctor or as a father, I didn't know. For the first time in her whole life I had no idea of how to help her, and that fact alone was killing me.

Aaron shot me the look that we as doctors reserve for patients and family in moments such as these. The 'I've just turned your entire world on it's head. Sorry about that' look. I couldn't bear to look at Alice, who was so quiet that it scared me. Instead I gently took her hand, leading her back out to the car. She climbed into the passenger seat, silently putting on her seatbelt as she chewed slowly on her lip. I struggled to keep myself composed when all I wanted to do was take her into my arms and make this all go away. The atmosphere of the car was one of shocked silence, which would no doubt be repeated when we got home. I had to hold my breath as I thought of how this news would affect my dear Esme. We had lost a baby only two years after Alice's birth. A little girl named Lilly, who had been destined to live with the angels after only a few hours with us. The children were too young to remember properly, but Esme and I did. My poor Esme had been so distraught I had feared she would do something to end her pain, but my beautiful, wonderful children provided her with solace, and a purpose. How would this news about Alice affect her? I was too scared to know.

I sighed softly, pulling into the driveway and putting the car into park. As I reached for the door Alice spoke softly.  
"Daddy…?" She sounded so scared, so fragile, that I was afraid my heart would shatter to pieces in that very moment.  
"What is it, sweetheart?" I spoke barely above a whisper.  
"Can…would…" She sighed, her breath sounding shaky. "I don't think I can tell them."

I nodded, reaching over the console to gently squeeze her hand. I had broken the news of leukaemia and other cancers to countless families over the years. Not once did I think I would be telling my own. I silently asked God to give me the strength to do this.  
"I'll tell them baby."

Her little hand squeezed mine back as she clicked her seatbelt off, opening her door slowly. I escorted her to the door, my hand firmly in her grip. Through the large glass panels I saw our family and friends in the den, like a Hallmark picture of happiness and perfection. Edward was laughing at something that his brother had just said when he noticed us through the window. He frowned softly and I smiled tentatively, ushering Alice into the house.

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**EsmePOV**

My attention was pulled from Emmett's story by the sound of the door clicking shut. I glanced up, Carlisle and Alice in the hallway.  
"Honey, you're back." I moved to him quickly, slightly surprised by the strength of his embrace. It was almost as though he was holding on to me for dear life. I pulled back, looking to Alice. Her eyes were wide and fearful, and her expression was much the same. I suddenly felt tendrils of fear snaking their way up my spine, seeping into every part of my body. The haunted look in my daughter's eyes told me everything was far from ok.  
"What is it?" I managed, my voice sounding just as shaky as my resolve. Carlisle looked from Alice, then to me, and then to the others. Edward, Bella, Emmett, Rose, Jasper and Maria. For a second I felt for Jasper's new flame. Here she was being thrust into a very private moment. It had to make her feel very uncomfortable. It was only a fleeting thought. My attention was quickly on my daughter again, who sat as Carlisle nodded to her. I sat too, my hand clutching hers as I looked to my husband.

His tired, haunted eyes gazed around the room before focusing on Alice, giving her a soft reassuring smile. He cleared his throat before speaking.  
"At the hospital they took blood, ran other tests, poked, prodded and asked a lot of questions. Alice's symptoms, and the results of the blood work…" He faltered for a moment, looking to me. There was something horribly familiar about that look in his eyes. Before I could place it, he looked back to Alice who trembled slightly, and he spoke again.  
"It's Leukaemia."

I barely registered the shocked gasps that were elicited at my husband's words. I'd placed that look on his face. It was the same look he wore when the doctors had told us that our precious Lilly was destined for a life with God, and not with us. Within moments I felt Alice's hand drop from mine as her brothers embraced her. Edward's face was grave; Emmett's was buried in Alice's neck. Rose and Bella cried quietly, whilst Maria offered Jasper a comforting hand. Jasper did not take his eyes from Alice.

In mere minutes the happy scene was one of confusion and grief. I could hear anguished sobbing, the pain in the cries trying tearing me apart. It was only as my husband wrapped his arms firmly around me that I realized the sobbing was mine.


	9. A Sleepless Night

**I just have to say a huge thank you to everyone who has left me reviews, I know this subject matter isn't the easiest or most pleasant, so your kind words and encouragement really put my mind at ease.  
As usual, I own nothing. SM's the genius. **

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**JasperPOV**

That evening was horrendous to say the least. The moment Alice and Carlisle returned we all knew something was wrong. It was as if all of the air had been sucked out of the room. I felt so sorry for Carlisle. He must have to do this type of thing all of the time, but never with his own family. Esme's sobs tore us all apart, even Alice, who until that point had not moved. Carlisle moved quickly to embrace his sobbing wife, whilst Emmett and Edward comforted Alice. I glanced to my sister and Bella. Their tears were silent, but their shock was evident. I looked to Maria, who squeezed my hand gently. I nodded and stood, grudgingly releasing her hand from mine as I approached Carlisle.  
"You guys need time to process this as a family. We'll be at home. Call my Mom or Dad if you need anything." I didn't know what else to say, but as Carlisle smiled kindly and nodded, I knew it had been enough. Bella and Rose gently patted Alice's arm. She was still buried into Emmett's huge chest, her quiet sobs muffled. I reached to gently touch her hair, offering what support I could before the girls and I left.

Rose and Bella's cries increased in volume as we reached the sidewalk. Maria and I turned, stopping a little outside my house.  
"Rose…Bella…can you please, please try to keep it together when I tell Mom and Dad? Or do you want to stay out here?"

Rose looked to me. She had one of Emmett's oversized football shirts on, the sleeve of which she was using to wipe her eyes. She sniffed, speaking softly.  
"I can. I want to be there with you." As she approached me, I felt Maria release her hand from mine.  
"This is a family thing…I can stay with Bella for now." I nodded, and Bella gratefully moved to Maria as Rose and I stepped inside. The house was warm, the smell of Mom's cooking permeating through the house. I could hear her humming in the kitchen, preparing everything for the dinner that was now not happening. As Rose and I rounded the corner, she smiled.  
"Well hey, you two need to get cleaned up and help your father and I set everything up." My Dad chuckled, popping some bottles of beer into the fridge.  
"Hon, it's just Es and Carlisle and the kids. The place looks fine."

Mom giggled softly before looking at us. I have no idea what my expression gave away, but Rose's tear-stained cheeks spoke volumes.  
"Oh God…Rosie what's the matter?"

As Rose heard her name her shaky resolve crumbled as she sunk into Mom's arms. I cleared my throat.  
"Carlisle just brought Alice back from getting some tests done. She's got Leukaemia."

My Mom gasped, tears quickly filling her eyes as she tightened her grasp on Rose. My Dad sighed shakily, rubbing his hand over his face.  
"Do they…want us to…go over there?"

I shrugged.  
"I told them we'd let them just have some peace tonight, unless they call and tell us otherwise."  
Dad smiled weakly, nodding.  
"Good idea son. Is Bella outside? I'll drive her home."

"Yea she is, thank you Dad."

* * *

I could not fall asleep that night. Maria stayed awake talking to me until she couldn't keep her eyes open anymore. Now her head was nuzzled into my chest, her breathing soft and relaxed. I sighed, looking to the clock again. Sleep continued to evade me. I could not stop thinking about Alice.

There was a quiet knock at my door around 7am. I shifted a little as Maria stirred, but did not wake up. As the door opened my Mom's head poked through. Her eyes were tired and bloodshot, her gaze on me.  
"Did you sleep at all?"

I shook my head, carefully sitting up as Maria continued to sleep.

My Mom took a crumpled looking tissue from the pocket of her dressing gown, dabbing at her eyes again.  
"Neither did I. Want some coffee?"

I nodded now, slipping carefully from the bed and straightening my pants, grabbing a tshirt from the floor. I followed Mom to the kitchen. Rosalie was sitting on one of the bar stools, a cup of coffee in her hands.  
"Couldn't sleep either?" I asked, my hand running gently over her arm. She shook her head, sniffling.  
"I kept waiting for Emmett to call. I didn't know if he would…but I needed to be awake incase he did. If he needed me…" She sighed tearfully, looking into her coffee.  
"Rosie baby, Jasper made it clear that we were here for them, but we gotta let them come to terms with it first. Believe me all I want to do this morning is run down there and tell Es that everything's going to be ok…but they need time to wrap their heads around it darlin, then they'll come to us."

Rose nodded as Mom brushed her fingers gently through Rose's hair.  
"I hate this. What have they done to deserve it? What's _Alice_ ever done to deserve it?" Rose's tone was angry, and like the rest of us, she had no idea _what _to be angry at.

Mom sighed, her fingers still smoothing out Rose's hair.  
"Oh honey…life is all kinds of unfair. But they'll get through this, they're some of the strongest people I know."

I nodded in agreement as Mom looked to me. I hoped they were as strong as Mom said. The bond the entire family shared was nothing short of incredible, and I felt somewhat relieved that Alice would have such a strong support system in place. Rose's words struck a chord with me as I took a drink of my coffee. Alice was one of the most – scratch that – _the _most incredible, sweet, caring person I'd ever had the honor of knowing, and if anything were to happen to her…I felt a sharp pain in my chest as I tried to finish the thought in my head. I couldn't. It hurt too much.


	10. Pizza and the past

**Again, I can't stress enough how much my readers' support helps in writing and getting new chapters out to you guys. If you have ANY questions, comments, suggestions or ramblings please, feel free to review. I own my plot, Stephanie owns the rest. :)**

**AlicePOV**

The days immediately following my diagnosis were a blur. I somehow managed to sleep shortly after we arrived back from the hospital, and although Edward and Emmett were skirting around the subject, I could tell from Mom's face that she'd had a rough night. She looked tired and upset, though she tried to conceal it. After a physically relaxing yet emotionally tense morning, Dad spoke up.  
"Alice, you're going to have to go back and get further tests done. They need to determine how…" He faltered, sighing softly.  
"They need to determine exactly how far it has spread, so that they can figure out how best to treat you." I nodded. This I knew. What I didn't know exactly was _how_ this was done. No time like the present to ask.  
"What exactly will they do?"

I felt Mom shift closer to me on the couch and take my hand. This told me that she and Dad had already discussed what would be happening.  
"Well sweetie they'll take some chest x-rays to make sure it's not spread to any of your organs, and they'll want to do a sonogram to see if your abdomen and everything is clear there too."

I nodded. None of that sounded particularly scary or invasive. I suppose the scary part was what they would or would not find.  
"They'll also do what's referred to as a spinal tap. It's a needle that they insert into the spinal column to collect some of the cerebrospinal fluid. They'll check to see if that's clear. Lastly they'll do what's called a bone marrow aspiration. You might be asleep for that because they have to inject very large needles into your hip to extract some of the bone marrow. From there they can tell how far it's spread and how to treat it."

I felt Mom's hand tighten around mine as she glared at Dad.  
"Carlisle I told you about taking things slowly, we don't want to overwhelm her."  
"Mom it's fine. I asked, and besides it's Dad that's telling me, not some doctor I don't know. I'd rather know going there what they want to do."

Mom frowned gently, looking me over. She could tell I was far from alright with anything, but at least she seemed convinced now that Dad's explanations hadn't further frightened the life out of me.  
"Would you…I mean are you allowed…to come with me?" I asked, placing my other hand on top of hers. Instead of answering right away Mom looked to Dad, who nodded.  
"For the majority of the tests we can both be present, if you'd prefer that."

I nodded fervently. I wasn't yet able to take everything in. It felt too strange to say that I had cancer. Too weird. All that mattered to me at that particular moment was their support.

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It was almost 8pm when we arrived home from the hospital. To say I was tired was an understatement. To say I felt like a pincushion would be putting it lightly. I was still a little woozy from the concoction of drugs I'd been given throughout the course of the day, and all I wanted to do was relax. As tired as my body felt my mind was much too wired for sleep. It turned out that after all of the tests the results would not be available until the morning. I highly doubted I would sleep much. Mom or Dad did nothing to ease my tension; as soon as I sat on the couch they were hovering around me, their faces awash with concern. It was sweet and all, but I needed a break. Just as Mom was about to open her mouth and ask me if I needed anything [for the fourth time in under five minutes] I looked to Dad, who was being slightly more subtle with his hovering.  
"Dad?"

He had been subtle until I called to him. Within a second he sat beside me, his hand gingerly grazing over my back.  
"What is it princess? Does it hurt?"

In truth my back did hurt, I'd really, really disliked the 'spinal tap'. The pain was manageable however, and right now I could only think of one thing.  
"No it's ok. Dad can we invite the Hale's over? And Bella? Rose and Jazz and Em will be going back to college at the weekend. Could we just have a movie night?"

Dad smiled widely.  
"Yes, of course princess. As long a -"  
"I'm ok. I'll take it easy. Easier than easy. I promise."  
"Thank you. Mom, can we have pizza?"

Mom nodded, handing me the phone. I quickly ordered eight pizzas, knowing that Emmett would probably ingest two by himself, before dialing the Hale's number. It was Rose who answered.  
"Hello?"  
"Hi Rose."  
"Oh my God, Alice! Are you ok? Well not ok, but how are you? Feeling, I mean…"

I had to giggle at her concerned rambling.  
"I'm ok, for the most part. I'm declaring tonight pizza and movie night so tell Jazz to get his butt over here, and call Bella and tell her the same, k?"

Within ten minutes the Hales, including Monroe and Whitney, were gathered in the lounge with me. A little after that Edward returned, looking somewhat shyly towards Bella. I sighed to myself. I'd asked him go collect her in an attempt for them to finally move past the awkward flirting stage they still seemed stuck in. No such luck yet. The night passed without talk of my diagnosis; I didn't really see the point in discussing it until the test results came back. We spread across the varying array of chairs, sofas and beanbags, settling with the pizzas to watch "Juno." I smiled as I heard Jasper chuckle. He glanced over to me and my smile widened. This was _our_ movie. I thought Ellen Paige was a fantastic actress, and Jasper adored the movie's eclectic soundtrack. He'd spent the better part of Boxing Day a few months back to teach me how to play that song at the end. Needless to say when I finally told him I was _not_ filing my nails to nothing in order to strum a silly guitar the tickle fight of the year ensued. As I glanced to him again his smile faltered slightly. Maria tucked her arm through his, snuggling closer to his side.

There were a lot of reasons I wish I could go back to Boxing Day. The leukaemia was only one of them.


	11. There's hope yet

**Once again, your comments and kind words really help me with this, so THANK YOU. As always, Stephanie owns anything recognizable.**

***I know I'm updating a LOT right now, because once I start work in September I won't have the chance to write as often.**

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**EdwardPOV**

Leukaemia. It was an awful sounding word. I'd always thought so. It sounded so elusive, so insubstantial. I suppose it was. Unlike other cancers there wasn't a tumor that could just be cut out. It was a cancer of the blood. The very thing that gave us all life now threatened my sister's. I'd always seen cancer as an older person's illness. Of course I knew that it struck the young too, but I never imagined it would contaminate our family. You couldn't even see it in Alice to look at her. Yes, her eyes lacked their sassy sparkle and her body was clearly drained. I was certain she was terrified too, but to an outsider she looked the picture of health, just as any 1year old should be. Like I said, elusive.

Mom and Dad were clearly nervous for what the results of Alice's tests would be, as we all were. About half way through the movie they got up, followed by Monroe and Whitney. No one followed. It was clear they wanted to talk. As the movie continued, I could not help but look over at Bella. She was perched on the couch with Alice, only feet away from my place on the beanbag. She was breathtaking. Her long, chocolate brown hair hung loosely over her shoulders, and every now and then she would absentmindedly run her fingers through it. Those eyes…large, inviting chocolate orbs, darted from the screen, to Alice, and back again. That was another thing I loved about Bella. She was so warm and friendly with everyone, and her concern for Alice's wellbeing made me smile. My eyes were still focused on Bella when the movie came to an end. Alice's gaze found mine and she rolled her eyes, raising one eyebrow to me. I knew what she was implying. I always did. Alice and I had an extremely strong bond. We always had. Her eyes were beseeching me to drive Bella home, and finally tell her how I felt. I sighed, pinching my nose as I always did when I found myself lost in thought. Why bother telling Bella how I felt? She was nervous around me, or avoided me completely. Hardly a recipe for a relationship. I quickly found my resolve whittled away with Alice's continued glare. At last I nodded, rolling my eyes.  
"Bella?"

Her head snapped up the moment I spoke her name. A faint blush colored her cheeks. Beautiful.  
"Yes?"  
"Would you like me to drive you home? It's getting late."

I watched as her brows furrowed delicately.  
"Oh uh…it's ok, I can walk."

Before I could nod, clearly giving her the space she wanted, Alice piped up.  
"Like hell, Bella! Have you seen the rain out there? If you walk home you'll get sick and I can't be around sick people when my treatment has started. Edward, drive her home."

I chuckled, nodding as Bella conceded. I had a feeling Alice was less concerned about Bella catching a cold than she was about getting us into the car together again. Subtlety was not my sister's forte. The short drive to Bella's was relatively quiet. Bella chewed nervously on her lip, as though she wanted to talk. I didn't know what to say to her. As I pulled into her driveway beside her dad's police cruiser, she finally spoke.  
"Tell Alice to call me. Anytime I mean. I want her to know that I'm here for her."

There she was. Sweet Bella. I nodded, turning off the engine.  
"I will, thank you. You're an incredible friend Bella, really."

Her face quickly flushed again.  
"Why do you do that?"  
"Do what?" She asked, suddenly nervous.  
"Blush. Anytime I pay you any compliment. Don't you like them?"

Cue more nervous blushing. Gosh, she was so adorable.  
"I'm sorry…I don't know…" I frowned. I hadn't meant to make her feel uneasy. I reached gently for her hand.  
"Hey…I'm sorry. I shouldn't have asked."

I could have sworn I heard her gasp as our hands touched. She quickly composed herself.  
"It's ok, I just don't get it." Her nose scrunched in the cutest way. She was mesmerizing.  
"What don't you get?"  
"Why you're different with me." Her voice was suddenly so soft I had to strain to hear her.  
"Different? Have I…upset you?" I frowned. She shook her head, her beautiful face hidden behind the curtain of hair.  
"No. Never. I just…wondered."

I smiled softly, grazing my thumb gently across her hand.  
"I don't mean to be different. It's just I see you differently than I do my other friends. I suppose it's because I care so much about you." I spoke softly, surprised that it was this easy to be honest with her. Maybe Alice had been right.

Bella was now looking at me, an expression of disbelief apparent across her beautiful features. "You do?"

I smiled, nodding.  
"How can I not? You're loyal, determined, adorably klutzy [yes, major blush action again] and utterly beautiful. You make me want to be with you forever and not ever let anything happen to you." _What the hell had Alice spiked my soda with? Where was this honesty coming from all of a sudden? _

"Wow…" Bella admitted softly, leaning closer to me.  
"I always thought you just saw me as Alice's friend. Alice's friend who had the most ridiculous, annoying and obvious crush on you."  
"Crush on me? You? But you're so shy around me and sometimes you avoid me completely! I thought I was just Alice's annoying older brother…"  
"Who else am I that shy around? Emmett? Jasper?"

As I thought about it she had a point. Bella had always acted differently towards me than to my best friend and my brother.  
"So…let's get this straight. You like me…" She nodded, chewing softly on her lip. "And I like you."  
"So…where do we go from here?"

I chuckled, breaking out of my Bella-trance.  
"Well…nowhere at the moment. We're in your driveway. But dinner. Soon. Or to the movies, anything." I laced my fingers through hers. "Anything you want."

Bella nodded, squeezing my hand before letting go. Her smile was wider than I'd ever seen before, even as she ducked out of my car and out into the rain. I drove home in a Bella-induced stupor. It felt as though nothing could knock me from this high.

As I pulled into our driveway and stepped inside the house, I realized just how wrong I'd been.


	12. Panic

**I cannot thank you guys enough for your reviews and alerts and favorites. Seriously, you're all awesome! I found this chapter a bit of a struggle; I don't think I'm good at Emmett! Also I hate being the bringer of bad news. As always, Stephanie owns anything recognizable. **

**[The internet is still being uncooperative at times, but don't worry I WILL update!]**

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**Emmett POV**

The week sucked, big time. Before we got home I'd been so excited to spend most of my time with Edward and Alice, and the rest of my time with Rose. We'd planned to go to La Push, and maybe an amusement park. Not to mention I'd have a week of Mom's cooking. Her chilli was out of this world! Then Alice wasn't feeling well. Which was ok, I just assumed she'd perk up again in a few days. That pixie's never down for long. I could tell Rose was worried about Alice's tests. I tried to tell her not to be, but I'm no doctor. I had no idea what was wrong. I did _not_ expect what we were told. Leukaemia. It's those sick kids you see on TV, or the poor little cherubs at the mall who are first in line to meet Santa. It's the ones whose parents are so worried about them that it's all they think about. It's not Alice. Not my baby sister.

It killed me to watch Mom break down when Dad told us. Pixie looked ready to crack, so I quickly hugged her to me, gently. I smiled a little as Edward leaned in to comfort her too. Neither of us said anything, but Pixie knew we were there for her.

* * *

Her afternoon at the hospital turned into about seven hours of poking and prodding, just to see how far this thing had spread. Turns out after everything the results wouldn't be available until the next morning. I was so happy that Alice wanted us all to have a movie night. I knew Rose had been worried all day about not seeing either of us, and I figured Jasper and Bella felt the same. When I went to Rose's house to meet her all she did was hug me for about five minutes straight, murmuring how she was so sorry that she was upset, how Alice was _my _sister. To be honest I couldn't care less. As long as Rose wanted to be there for Alice I didn't care. This wasn't just about family to me; it was about everyone who loved Pixie. We were all practically family anyway.

Rose was surprised that I liked Alice's choice of movie. I loved 'Juno'! It was hysterical. I especially loved cuddling up with my girl. As much as I loved being home I missed the intimacy we had having our own dorm room at college. I cannot sleep with Rosie in my parent's house. It's too weird. I didn't want to let her go when the movie finished, but she looked tired. I don't think she got any sleep after we were all told about Alice.  
"Come on Rosie, let's get you home." I smiled, ruffling her hair gently. She didn't swat my hand away as she usually did. Definitely tired.  
"Yeah, we're goin' to call it a night too." Jasper spoke softly, taking Maria's hand. Bella and Edward had already left. Rose smiled gently as she gazed at Alice, who'd fallen asleep on the couch. I'd take her upstairs when I came back.

Jasper and Maria set off just ahead of us, and as we left the house Rose yawned.  
"Babe, do try to sleep tonight."  
"I will Em, I was just scared you'd call and I'd be asleep and I wouldn't be there for you."  
"Don't you worry sweetie, if I called you'd wake up. You always do. So sleep tonight, ok beautiful?"

Rosalie smiled, giggling softly.  
"Ok, I promise. I'll be over first thing, ok?"  
"Ok." I smiled. We'd come to a stop at her front door, which Jasper had left slightly open for her.  
"Sleep well, beautiful. Come over for breakfast, k?"

She nodded, leaning in to kiss me softly. I could never get enough of my girl's lips. Before I knew it she'd pulled away, smiling.  
"Night."

* * *

I headed back into our house as Dad was cleaning up the kitchen.  
"Hey…need any help?"  
"Nope, it's all done. That's the great thing about having pizza I guess." He smiled softly.  
"I take it you got Rose home safely?"  
"Yea Dad, all the way up to the end of the street. Dunno how I managed." I chuckled.

"Carlisle?"

Dad jumped up at the sound of his name, and the panic in Mom's voice. I rushed into the den behind him to see Mom kneeling on the floor next to the chair Alice was sleeping on.  
"Carlisle she's burning up! She seemed fine earlier and now she's so warm…" I could hear the panicked tears in Mom's voice. Dad rushed over to Alice, who was still asleep. Her hair was now slightly matted on her face, and her breathing seemed slightly labored.  
"Alice? Alice, sweetheart it's Dad. I need you to open your eyes for me." Alice only tossed and turned, whimpering softly. Mom buried her head into my chest. It looked like Alice was having some kind of nightmare.  
"Dad…should we call 911?"  
"No son…we can drive her to the hospital. Her fever is not dangerously high, but the sudden onset suggests it could climb, quickly. Help me lift her, Emmett."

I nodded, moving to Alice and lifting her gently. She felt so warm. As I hugged her small body to me, Edward came through the door. The smile trickled from his face as he took in what was happening.  
"Oh God…what's wrong?"  
"She's running a fever son, we have to take her to the emergency room."

Edward only nodded, taking Mom's hand as Dad and I bundled Alice into the back of the car.  
"I'll drive."  
"Thank you, Edward."

The ride to the hospital was painfully slow and quiet, the silence punctuated only by Mom's quiet crying and Alice's soft whimpering. As I lifted her into my arms again she stirred properly.  
"Em...?"  
"You're ok Pixie, I've got you."  
"Daddy?" She was more alert now, and scared.  
"It's ok princess. You're just running a fever. We want to make sure you're well looked after, ok?"

She nodded, reaching for Dad. He nodded to me, taking her into his arms as I went back to the waiting room. Edward frowned, Mom's hand clutching his for dear life.  
"Its ok Momma Pixie will be fine. Dad's in there, he'll make sure she gets the best care."

I took a seat on the other side of Mom. Our presence seemed to calm her a bit. A little over an hour later Dad emerged.  
"She's alright." Those first words out of his mouth elicited a relieved and tired sigh from Mom.  
"Where is she? Can we take her home?"

Dad shook his head.  
"Not tonight Es, but there's no infection. Fevers are common in leukaemic patients and I think her body was just responding the only way it knew how to the stress of all of the tests. They've given her something to bring her fever down, it shot up to a hundred and four, but it's slowly going down. They gave her a mild sedative so they're going to keep her overnight, just to monitor her temperature. She's fast asleep."  
"And we can bring her home in the morning?"  
Dad nodded.  
"Yes, first thing. Let's go home."  
"No, Carlisle I want to stay, I have to be with h -"

Dad silenced Mom with a gentle kiss to her lips.  
"No Es, Alice made it quite clear she wanted us all to get a good night's rest. We'll be back to pick her up before you know it."

I yawned, shuffling back to the car and climbing in beside Edward. I'd have to call Rose when I got home and tell her what had happened.

Yeah, this week sucked.


	13. Family

**Have I mentioned recently that you guys are awesome! I cannot believe this story has nearly 100 reviews, I never dreamed I'd have so many loyal readers. Seriously, y'all are amazing. So this one is dedicated to every single one of my reviewers. Enjoy!**

**(Shameless plug: If you're interested, or in fact very bored, check out my new fic, The Silver Lining. It's Jalice, of course!)**

**Jasper POV**

Maria snuggled closer into my side and I smiled. It had been a great evening at the Cullen's, despite Alice's diagnosis. It felt like old times, and I hoped for Alice's sake it would continue. She didn't need people acting differently around her. I was starting to feel bad that we were all heading back to college at the weekend. It felt sort of like we were getting away from it all, when it was probably the last thing that any of us wanted.

As I reached over to turn off the light, Rose rushed into my room, panic in her eyes. She startled Maria, who shot up.  
"Rose?"

Rose ignored Maria, coming straight to the side of the bed.  
"Emmett just called, Alice was taken into hospital." She explained, her voice thick with tears. Without thinking I stood, pulling my sweat pants on.  
"Where are you going Jasper?" Rose asked.  
"To the hospital." As if it wasn't obvious.  
"Jazz you can't, visiting hours are over, besides, Emmett said Esme and Carlisle came back home. Edward too."  
"Well...should we go over there?" Maria suggested, reaching for my sweater.  
Rose nodded, wiping her eyes.  
"Yeah, I'll let Mom and Dad know."

I nodded, waiting for Maria to get dressed.  
She took my hand as we made our way to the Cullens. The moment we walked through the door Emmett embraced Rosalie in a fierce hug. We all followed Esme and Carlisle into the kitchen where coffee was waiting.  
"What happened? How is she?" My mom asked, gently stroking Esme's arm. In that moment I felt so sorry for Esme. She looked exhausted, but I knew that if I was as awake and freaked out as I felt, then there was no way she'd get a proper night's sleep.  
"Asleep. She'd dozed off on the couch as you guys were leaving. I was going to have Emmett carry her upstairs, but when I reached to brush her hair from her forehead it felt as if she was on fire. She wouldn't wake up properly so we bundled her into the car and took her to the Emergency Room."

Carlisle gently pressed his lips to Esme's hair, a silent signal he was going to speak.  
"I watched them check her over…just for any sign of infection. That's generally the first thing we check, so we can treat it or rule it out. It appears she was drained from the tests they were doing all day…with hindsight she really ought to have been admitted after the tests were complete."

I frowned. Carlisle's voice sounded so tired, and I could see the guilt lingering in his eyes. As if _he_ should have known, because he was a doctor.  
"Dad…you can't think like that. She appeared fine when you brought her home." I had to smile. Edward's reassurance seemed to put Carlisle at ease.  
"Thank you, son."

* * *

**Alice POV**

My alarm was beeping. This didn't make sense. Why would my alarm be beeping during a vacation week? There was no reason to be getting up. I was more or less awake, but I knew if I opened my eyes there would be no drifting back to sleep. But that damn beeping was annoying me. Fine…if I opened my eyes to locate my freaking alarm and shut it up I'd probably doze back off. I opened my eyes slowly, and jumped.  
"Good morning petal, did you sleep well?"

I blinked a few times. The sweet, smiling nurse continued to smile at me, sweetly. Then it all came rushing back. Cancer. Fever. Hospital. Beeping machines monitoring…well I wasn't a doctor, I had no idea. I realized Nurse Smiley was still awaiting an answer.  
"Uh…good. Thank you."  
"Good, I'm just going to check your temperature, see if that fever's gone down."

I nodded, sitting still as she gently tugged on my ear. More beeping.  
"99.2. Much better. Are you hungry, honey?"  
"Uh. Yes."

She smiled and flitted away, mentioning something about a breakfast menu. I reached to the table at the side of my bed, scooping my phone up and dialing 'Home'.

Dad picked up on the second ring. I frowned. He sounded tired.  
"Cullen residence."  
"Dad it's me."  
"Oh, Alice! Good morning, how are you feeling?"

I smiled as I held back a giggle. I could hear Mom in the background, no doubt scrambling for the phone.  
"Good. Dad pass me to Mom before she gives herself an aneurysm."

I could hear the phone being passed over, and a sigh of relief.  
"Oh, sweetheart, we'll be there as soon as we can, did you sleep well? Has your fever gone down?"  
"Yes Mom, it's 99.2, it's fine, and yes, I slept well. Take your time getting here, they're bringing me breakfast."

Mom proceeded to pass the phone to Edward, and to Emmett, and then to Jasper and Rose. I was shocked and touched when I realized the Hales had spent the night at our house.

They _all_ arrived an hour later, and I found myself grateful to have my own room. I couldn't imagine subjecting another sick patient to not only my family, but the Hales as well. Mom and Whitney, sweet and fantastic as they are…can be slightly overbearing. It's a good thing Dad always notices.  
"Ladies…let's give Alice a little room, shall we? I don't think she wants to be bombarded with questions all morning."

Dad winked to me as Dr. Young stepped into the room.  
"Good morning Alice. Nurse Lucy tells me you had a good night?"  
"Yes, I did thanks."

He stood at the foot of the bed, surveying my family, and extended family and smiling softly.  
"Alice I've been speaking to my colleagues, and we think it prudent to keep you in for…well a little longer. We'd like to start you on your first round of Chemotherapy."


	14. Coffee & Chemo

**I know I keep saying this, but you guys are awesome! I love your reviews; they really, really help me, so please, review! :)**

**Just a heads up, we have family visiting and the end of the week, and then I start my job, so my updates won't be quite so frequent. Please, stick with me, and Alice!**

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**Bella POV**

Edward liked me. Edward Cullen _liked_ me. I'd practically floated up the stairs and straight into bed that night, sleeping better than I had in ages. Maybe Alice had been right about him. Us.

Charlie woke me early the next morning to let me know he was going fishing with Billy and Jacob. Usually I'd have been annoyed at him for waking me to tell me that, that's why they invented PostIt Notes. He chuckled as I merely nodded and wished him a good day, reaching to my bedside table for my phone. Naturally I knocked it onto the floor, cursing silently and praying that it was in one piece when I picked it up. Thankfully it was. My face lit when I saw I had one new message. Edward.

_Bella, I hope u slept well. We are the hospital, Alice took a turn after you guys left last night. She's ok, but asking for you. Call me if you need a ride. E x_

Oh God. Not exactly the first text I'd wanted from my almost-boyfriend, but I was too worried about Alice to care.  
"Dad!" I called frantically, hoping he'd not left yet. Since my truck had decided to cease functioning I was dependent on everyone for a ride, and I hated it.  
"Bells? You ok?"

I rushed downstairs, almost tripping on the second to last one.  
"Dad can you drop me at the hospital? Alice was admitted."

I felt bad telling Dad. He had a soft spot for my best friend, and I didn't want his concern for her to wreck his day with the guys. He sighed, running his hand through his hair.  
"Yea Bells, hop in." He nodded, grabbing his keys. We were about halfway too the hospital when it hit me. I was still in my pyjamas. Well, sleep pants and a t-shirt, but still.  
"Crap..." I muttered.

Charlie grunted, looking to me. I gestured to my clothes, or lack thereof.  
"Forgot to get dressed."

He chuckled, turning his gaze back onto the road.  
"That should cheer Alice up, you know how she is with clothes."

A smile crossed my face when I realised my dad was right.  
"Do you want me to come in, or just drop you off?"  
"You can just drop me off; you're already late to meet Billy. Thank you though, and I'll tell Alice you were asking about her."

Charlie nodded, pulling up to the entrance.

I made my way to the front desk.  
"Can you tell me which room Alice Cullen is in, please?"  
"Yes of course, it's 229."  
"Thanks."  
That had been remarkably easy, but I was quickly reminded that it was during visiting hours. I took the stairs two at a time up to the 2nd floor, and found her room quickly. It was huge, and everyone was already there. Rose, Jasper…everyone. I quickly knocked, opening the door.  
"Hey guys…I hope I'm not inte - "

"Bella!" Alice smiled, sitting up in her bed. She looked surprisingly well. Her eyes widened when she saw me, and she bit softly on her lip.  
"What the heck are you wearing?"  
"Oh…well I was in kind of a rush this morning, Edward's text said you were asking for me."

Edward ducked his head, smiling shyly.  
"Well at least you're comfy, come, sit."

I looked around the room. All of the seats were taken, but Alice smiled brightly to me and patted the foot of the bed. I nodded, setting myself down carefully.  
"So…what happened?"

Carlisle released his hand from Esme's, patting it gently.  
"Alice was running a rather high fever last night. There was no infection, but they wanted to keep her under observation to make sure it stayed down."

I nodded.  
"So you're getting out today?" I asked, naively hopeful.

Alice continued to chew on her lip, but her brows puckered in that way they often did when she was trying to figure out how to say something.  
"Not exactly. I mean I'm fine, but they…" She looked to Carlisle.  
"They want to start my Chemo. Today."

That seemed so soon. I understood there was no sense in wasting time, but still. Carlisle gently took Esme's hand again, squeezing it gently.  
"Dr. Young came to tell us about the extent of the damage. Whilst Alice's white blood count is very low the rest of the tests indicate that the leukaemia hasn't spread any further than her blood as of yet. There are no tumours anywhere. Dr. Young thinks it's a good idea to start the chemotherapy as soon as possible to ensure that the spread is eliminated. AML is a rapidly growing cancer, so the best defence is a good offence."

"When did he say the results of the bone marrow aspiration would come back?" Alice asked, her gaze curious.  
"Later this afternoon, sweetheart."  
"So if that's not all clear do I need a transplant?"

Carlisle shook his head.  
"It's not as simple as that, baby. If the chemotherapy does its job, it should put you into remission, and you wouldn't need any further treatment."

"But remission isn't a cure…is it?" Jasper asked, concern evident in his eyes.  
"No Jasper, it's not. No cancer patient can call themselves 'cured' until they've been in remission, cancer free, for five years. Even then, there _is_ a small chance of relapse, but most relapse occurs within those five years."

This answer appeared to satisfy Jasper, who nodded. A silence fell over the room; it was clear that everyone was assimilating everything that Carlisle had just said. My stomach chose this exact moment to make its need for food known. I could feel the blush rising in my cheeks, letting anyone who was previously unaware know, that it was _my_ stomach making all of the noise.  
Edward chuckled.  
"Why don't I take Bella to the cafeteria, get her some breakfast? Does anyone want anything?"  
"I'll take some coffee, Edward." Emmett replied, rubbing gently over Rosalie's back.  
"Make that two, son." Nodded Carlisle.  
"Another one of those breakfast muffins?" Alice asked, earning a wide smile from her brother.  
"Course, squirt. We won't be long."

...

Once alone in the cafeteria I was afraid that we'd slip back into our pre-awesome-chat-in-car, nervous non-conversation, but Edward soon put my mind at ease.  
"I'm sorry I didn't call or text you sooner about Alice."  
"No, don't be ridiculous, she's your sister."  
"But she's your best friend, I promise I'll keep you updated on every single detail, as it happens, from now on." I gazed up at him from my omelette to see his mouth do that adorable crooked smile thing again.  
"Ok." I nodded, taking a sip of juice.  
"So…I know this is not the best first date…" he looked nervous. I shook my head, placing my hand on his.  
"Hey…like I said, this is about Alice. I don't mind having all of our dates here if it means you get to be close to her."  
He looked to our hands.  
"You really mean that?"  
"Of course, Edward."

...

I'd wanted to stay longer at the hospital, but the doctors had told us that only family were allowed to be present when Alice had her chemo. At least for the first one, as Carlisle explained. Everyone reacts differently to it.

I also had a ton of Math homework to do, so I figured I'd head home and get dinner into the oven for when Charlie returned. Just as I was wrapping up with my homework my cell buzzed. Edward.  
"Edward, is everything ok?"  
"Yeah, she's ok. She's asleep now."  
"How did it go?" I asked, not quite sure if I wanted to know.  
He sighed. I could picture his stressed hands making a mess of his hair.  
"About as well as can be expected, according to my Dad. They inserted a tube thing into her chest so she didn't have to hold her arm in the one place, the chemo took _hours_ Bella."

I frowned.  
"That sounds brutal. How's she feeling?"  
"She felt ok at first, they gave her some anti-sickness meds, but they only worked for a while. She was being sick continuously a few hours into it."  
"Oh my God…is that….normal?" I asked.  
"Yeah, luckily Dad told her it could happen, so she was preparing herself for the worst. It starts all over again tomorrow." He sighed tiredly.  
"Oh Edward…I'm so sorry. Does she…want us there?" Stupid question. Probably not.  
"I think Emmett's bringing Rose tomorrow, but if you'd like I could bring you up the next day?"  
"Yes, whatever she wants. Tell her that, k?"

This time his sigh sounded relieved.

"I will Bella. I'll call you soon."


	15. Hard Times Ahead

**Again, you guys are amazing; I really can't stress it enough! Sorry this update has taken so long, like I said we had family with us, and now I've started my job, so my updates won't be any more frequent than once a week. I'll try my best not to keep you guys waiting any longer than that. Your comments mean so much to me, so please let me know what you think! **

**If you're a Jalice fan, check out my new fic, The Silver Lining!**

**Esme POV**

This week had been the longest of my life. I begged Carlisle to let me stay at the hospital, but he refused. I could feel the lump in my throat as I kissed Alice's forehead. She was sleeping peacefully, and I promised I would return first thing in the morning. Carlisle's hand kept a steady rhythm on my back as we walked to the car. He kept telling me over and over that I needed a good night's rest, and that I could stay with Alice tomorrow night. The ride home was eerily quiet, and as I glanced into the back the faces of my two beautiful boys almost broke my heart. Edward's fingers were pressed to his forehead, as if an attempt to rid himself of what he had just witnessed. I glanced to Emmett, whose face was sullen and serious. This wasn't my Emmett. He wrung his hands together, but it was obvious that all he wanted to do was embrace his baby sister and promise her that everything would be ok.

When we got home the boys disappeared to their rooms, and I felt Carlisle's arms snake lovingly around my waist as he pressed a kiss into my shoulder.  
"I'll run you a bath, love. Then you should sleep. You're exhausted, and the sooner you sleep the sooner tomorrow will come."

Despite everything I could feel the smile growing on my face. In that instant my thoughts were only about my incredible husband.  
"That sounds marvelous darling, thank you."

He was quiet again, the smile slipping from his face ever so slightly.  
"She'll be fine my love. She's a little fighter, you know that."

I managed a weak attempt at a smile as I nodded. I knew my Alice was a fighter. Ever since she was a child she'd taken any challenge head on and dealt with it. But everyone had their limit, something that was too great for them to face. I just hoped this was not the case with the leukemia.

Carlisle's expression worried me. The attempted smile told me he was scared, and I did not know how much of that was due to the severity of what we were dealing with, or simply the fact that it was his baby girl that this was happening to, and not some stranger. I did not dare to ask him. I didn't want the answer.

...

The night passed mercifully quickly and uneventfully, and as promised Carlisle woke me early. Despite the early rise I felt rather rested, and I only hoped Alice had managed to get a good night's sleep as well. She was going to need it for everything she had to endure.

We arrived at the hospital a little after 8am and Alice was already awake.  
"Oh darling…how was your night?" I cooed, gently hugging her close to me.  
"It was ok, I still feel pretty tired." I nodded. Although she looked tired the sparkle was still present in her eyes, letting me know that my little fighter was still in there.

"Have you had anything to eat yet, Alice?" Carlisle asked, taking a seat.

Alice shook her head apologetically.  
"I couldn't stomach anything this morning, not now that I know what's coming. I don't see the point in eating anything if it's just going to come right back up." I could see her point, but Carlisle sighed from behind me.  
"Alice, sweetheart it's about keeping your strength up. You still have today and tomorrow to get through."

Alice sighed in defeat, picking at a piece of toast on her tray. I watched her as I felt the panic slowly snake up my spine. Yesterday had been brutal. Yes, having three children came with the occasional mess, and I'd witnessed my share of stomach flu's and food poisoning, but the harsh side-effects of Alice's treatment had left me shaken. I had hoped it was an initial reaction to the onslaught of chemicals coursing through her system, but as Carlisle spoke solemnly about the ongoing treatment it didn't sound as though the side effects would show any signs of letting up.

Alice seemed to notice my somber expression, and raised a slender eyebrow to me.  
I shook my head slowly.  
"I just hope it will be better than yesterday."

She smiled weakly, fixing her hair back before reaching for a drink.  
"We can only hope." She spoke quietly, looking to the cup that she held between her small hands.  
"They told me to give it a week…" She murmured, almost to herself.  
"What darling. Told you to give what a week?" I nudged gently.

"My hair."


	16. Changes

**I can't thank you all enough for your kind reviews, constructive comments and general awesomeness! ****Those who follow me on twitter know I have ANOTHER job now…yes, two! I promise I will try to keep the updates as regular as they are now! Please, keep the love coming!**

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**Jasper**

The last three weeks had been tough. It felt as though we had been back at college much longer, and since we'd all been swamped with work we hadn't done during our break we were unable to head back home at the weekends. Until now.

"Why can't I come?"

She sat on my bed, her lips pushed into a pout. It wasn't cute, and it wasn't working.  
"Maria I spend near enough every day with you. I want to go back and see my family; see Alice."

"And why can't I come?" She asked again. She'd been asking me all week. It wasn't that I didn't want her there. Ok, it was. During our break and Alice's diagnosis she moped around our house doing nothing and complaining that she was bored. Even Alice noticed, and no one needed to stress Alice out, or make her feel unnecessarily guilty about anything. From what I heard of Emmett talking to Edward on the phone Alice was taking her parent's reactions pretty hard, blaming herself when it was no one's fault. I was anxious to get back there and see her. I had a feeling our presence would lift the mood.

"Because you clearly weren't happy there, Maria. Just drop it."

She huffed, and I nearly lost it.  
"Look Maria for once this isn't about you, ok? It's not even about Rose, or me, or Emm. It's about Alice."

Without saying another word Maria reached for her shoes and coat.  
"Oh come on, Maria don't be like this."

She shook her head, fixing those death traps onto her feet.  
"I can't compete Jasper; I don't know why I even tried. Well ok…. you were a good lay…but you love her, so I'm out."

"I love her? Who?"

"Alice, you idiot! You're rushing back to see her the first chance you get, and it's all Rose seems to talk to Emmett about. You should be with her apparently…you're made for each other." She huffed, clearly using Rose's phrasing. This was all too much. Who was Maria, or my sister for that matter to comment on my relationship, or lack-there-of with Alice? I was under the impression that I made the decisions in my life.

"Don't be ridiculous, Maria."  
"I'm not. But I'm out." And with that she was. The door slammed behind her as I sank back down onto my bed. Suddenly I felt like this weekend was going to be a lot more difficult than I'd thought.

* * *

The drive to Forks was quiet; the atmosphere in the car a tense mix of excitement and apprehension. Rose didn't speak much, but fidgeted constantly while texting on her phone.  
"Got another man there that I should be worried about?" Emmett teased, reaching his hand from the wheel to muss her hair.  
"No you ape, it's your sister. They're ordering take out and wondered if we'd be there on time. If we will be, what do we want?"  
"Sure we'll be there on time. Chicken with noodles, babe." Rose nodded, entering it into her phone.  
"Jasper?"  
"Uh…just some egg-fried rice for me, Rose."  
The mention of food from Emmett's favourite take out place had put a smile on his face and lifted the tension from the car. We were almost there.

I was pleasantly surprised stepping out of the car; the usually bitter weather had dissipated for the time being, leaving Spring-like warmth in its place. Not bad for May in Forks. Esme opened the door before we had even gotten out of the car, and quickly embraced Emmett in a ferocious, motherly hug. Rose and I hung back, watching the tender display of affection while Edward and Carlisle stood on the porch, wearing identical half-smiles.  
"Where's Pixie?" Emmett asked, his eyes scanning the porch.  
"She's in the family room with Bella. She's very tired, so please don't get too excitable with her. Your food will be here soon."

Emmett nodded, smiling to his Dad and Edward as he entered the house. Rose followed quickly behind, but Carlisle placed a hand on my shoulder before I could venture any further.  
"How's the semester going, Jasper?" His kind eyes told me he was genuinely interested in how we were all doing even as his daughter was facing the toughest battle of her life.  
"Very well, sir. How have things been here?"

His eyes grew tired as he gazed momentarily to Edward.  
"As well as could be imagined, given the circumstances."

Edward nodded as Carlisle's hand dropped from my arm. I stepped inside the house but instead of the usual homey smell I associated with the Cullens there was a clean, almost sterile odour that permeated through the house. I made a mental note to ask Edward about it when we got a minute alone.

As I rounded the corner into the family room our eyes met. There was a flicker of excitement that sparked in her eyes as they met mine, and her lips turned up ever so slightly into a smile.  
"Hi…" Her voice was tired, yet still soft and inviting.  
"Hey. Missed us?" I smiled, taking a seat on the opposite couch.  
She nodded, and it was then I noticed the majority of her was cocooned inside one of Emmett's old sweat tops. Her small legs were curled to her body and only the bottoms of her legs were visible, showing black leggings and thick, woollen socks. She wore the hood of the sweat top up, partially concealing the patterned scarf on her head. She looked tired, vulnerable and sick. But she still looked beautiful. Her large eyes radiated love as she chatted with us, her pert little nose scrunching adorably at Emmett's tall-tales.

"Mom why does the place smell like a hospital?"

I mentally slapped Emmett. There went my subtle plan to ask Edward later. At the same time, however, I couldn't help being curious.  
"Well son, Alice's immune system is…non-existent at the moment, so it's imperative that we keep the place spotless and germ-free. That's why we asked you guys if you'd been sick recently before you came down." Carlisle's answer made a lot of sense.  
"We couldn't have come if we'd been sick?" Emmett frowned.  
"Gosh, no, darling." Spoke Esme. "Bella was ill last week and although it was just a cold she couldn't come over to see Alice, or Edward."

Bella blushed, toying with the blanket on the couch and looking apologetically towards Alice. Alice giggled softly, nudging Bella as if to say 'don't worry about it.'  
"It's also why I can't have take out with you guys." She spoke, smiling in amusement as Emmett's jaw just about hit the floor. She launched into an explanation before her brother's head exploded.  
"It's something to do with the toxins. I can't eat anything that's not organic or steamed. Well I can…but I just shouldn't."

Emmett rubbed a hand over his face. This seemed to hit him harder than seeing his sister without hair.  
"For how long?"  
"Until I'm done with treatment, so…" She shrugged.

...

The evening carried on in much the same fashion, and I realised retrospectively that I hadn't once thought about Maria. I was not going to miss her. Most of the evening's questions were centred on Alice and her treatment, or how she was feeling, or if she was missing school. No one seemed to be talking to her about anything else. Esme's eyes hovered over her as we ate. She explained Alice felt quite sick if she ate more than a little at a time, but paradoxically had to eat a lot to keep her strength up. Rose gently rubbed over her arm as we left for our house. As Carlisle closed the front door behind us Rose leaned into me and sighed heavily.

I placed my hand on her back.  
"You ok?"

She nodded.  
"I guess. It's just…I know she was sick before, but now she _looks_ sick. There's no dodging it or getting around it. And I feel awful that I'm not doing more."  
"Rosie what more can you do? What more can any of us do but be there for her?"

Rose shrugged.  
"I know…I know. I just wish we could make it all go away."

I nodded in agreement, and as we walked the short distance to our house, I suddenly knew what to do.


	17. Big Plans

**I'm so sorry for the wait! Work has been crazy-busy; I was actually just on a trip to Bulgaria with the students. Other work is busy too, but it's all good fun! I'm sorry I haven't updated sooner, but I literally have not had a spare moment. **

**If you forgive me hit that review button. I love you all! :) As usual SM is the genius. I'm just borrowing.**

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**Alice**

I was beyond glad that Emmett, Rose and Jasper were finally here. They provided a great distraction for the dull routine my life had become over the last three weeks. Chemotherapy. Four-day hospital stay. Blood tests every 7 days to monitor my counts. Steamed vegetables, meat and potatoes. Repeat until bored silly.

Emmett and Rose spent the evening asking me questions about my treatment, tests and lack of school, but the golden-haired angel in the corner simply listened, smiling gently whenever our eyes met. I'd been dreaming about him more often since treatment had begun. I wasn't sure why, but I wasn't about to complain. There he sat, his face calm and his eyes caring. Rose and Emmett's gaze was more or less on the patterned fabric that sheathed my head from view. That's what everyone looked at, until they got used to the idea that there was no hair under there anymore. Granted it meant I spent less time in the shower, but I'd be lying if I said that day hadn't been brutal.

I was frequently tired, and cold, and subsequently spent most of my time wearing my brothers' sweats. Especially Emmett's. It felt as though he was closer to me when he was in Seattle. I usually slept pretty well, despite the nausea caused by the leukaemia and worsened by the chemotherapy. The first few days after each treatment were usually the most difficult; I couldn't keep anything down. Each time I went for blood-work they weighed me; Nurse Lucy clicking her tongue quietly as she noticed I'd lost even more weight.

The gravity of the situation was hitting Mom hard. Edward found solace in Bella and Dad spent his days rooting through medical journals for new anti-nausea drugs, pain medication, drugs with clotting agents…the list was long. Mom however…I was her priority now. Her first thoughts in the morning were of me as she always sat on my bed, trying to coax me into eating breakfast. All day she kept the house spotless and germ-free. I protested, saying I would help. I was too exhausted just after lifting the vacuum cleaner from the closet. She spent time cooking meals that only I would eat, which made me feel even guiltier when I wasn't able to keep anything down. She sat with me before I went to bed, running her hand over my head like she used to run her fingers through my hair. It was just as comforting. She was my rock, but I could tell she was exhausted, both physically and emotionally. Dad and Edward did what they could, but with work and school the burden fell mostly on Mom. Did I mention how guilty I felt?

It wasn't just me who was happy to see Emmett, Rose and Jasper back. Mom's face was brighter than I'd seen it in weeks, and she looked visibly more relaxed. As Rose and Jasper left for their own house, Mom turned to me, smiling softly.  
"Its good to have them back, isn't it?"

I nodded, the smile still firmly planted on my face.  
"It really is."

Despite waking early the next morning I felt rested and happy. Throwing on one of Emmett's sweaters I made my way downstairs. Mom and Dad sat at the breakfast bar, their hands clasped together as he murmured something against her lips. She smiled, and then leaned to kiss him. The kiss was long and lingering. I cleared my throat to make my presence known. I'd have hated for them to get carried away in front of me. It didn't take much to make me nauseous these days.  
"Well good morning sweetheart. You're up early." Dad smiled, pulling back a little, still holding Mom's hand in his.

I nodded, taking a seat at the breakfast bar with them.  
"Yea I am. I slept really well though."

Mom's face lit up as she pressed a kiss to my cheek.  
"I'm so glad, baby. Can you manage some breakfast?"  
"Probably." I smiled. At that moment the front door opened. Dad always unlocked it in the morning if he was around.  
"Hellllooo?" I heard a voice call, quiet yet excited. I recognized it.  
"Rosalie?"

As she heard my voice she squealed, gliding into the room, quickly followed by Jasper. She pressed her lips to my scarf as Jasper smiled softly. God, he was beautiful.  
"Good morning…" I smiled, glancing from one twin to another.  
"Why are you two here so early?"

Dad smirked as Jasper's smile widened. Suddenly I had the feeling that I was the only one out of the loop.  
"Ok _what_ is going on?"

"Well…" Jasper began, his gorgeous hazel eyes sparkling with excitement.  
"We're having a snow-day!" Rose jumped in, literally buzzing with excitement.

They'd lost it. They had actually lost it. I glanced outside at the warm, spring weather that we so seldom saw in Forks. When had I missed the warning about a freak snow-storm?

"Huh?" I managed as Dad chuckled.  
"A snow-day!" Rose repeated, as if repeating it would somehow make me understand her. Jasper spoke up.  
"You know…one of those days where you can't go outside, but you want to do something, anything. Well today is one of those days. We have to stay inside you know…because of the snow. But we can't let the snow bum us out, because it's not something we can do anything about. So there is to be no talk about snow all day; we'll just have a great time anyway. Agreed?"

As he explained I suddenly realised that there was no snow forecast. He was using the snow as a euphemism for my cancer. It was in that very moment that I realised I was in love with him. The realization hit me so hard I found it almost difficult to breathe. I loved Jasper Hale. He was willing to arrange this entire day just for my benefit; just to see me smile. I obliged, finding my breath again and inhaling air into my lungs. I could feel the smile stretch my face as I nodded.

Tears pricked at my eyes. I'm not sure if they stemmed from the realization that I was in love with him, or the fact that I remembered in that very moment about Maria. My breath felt tight in my chest again as I felt my parent's gaze on me. Rosalie and Jasper looked expectantly at me as well. I nodded again, further affirming my feelings about the snow-day. I tried to soak up the excitement in the room as I felt something squeeze painfully around my heart. I suddenly knew what unrequited love felt like, and I didn't like it at all.

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**Yes, I know Maria and Jasper are over. But no one has told Alice yet. Please, let me know your thoughts! :) **


	18. Snow Sucks

**I just want to say thanks to everyone for the continued support. Please, keep it coming! :D **

**I know this update is short, and there are some POV changes, but they needed to be done. Please leave me some love! :D **

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Jasper**

I'd almost forgotten how beautiful she was when she smiled. Being away for weeks hadn't been easy; it had been especially tough on Emmett. It had made me forget how I felt around her. Maria was a distraction the last time. I realized that now. There was just something about Alice Cullen. There always had been. For me anyway. I didn't know why, but my entire being lit up whenever I saw her, it was the only way to describe it. I noticed my heart thump just that little harder when she looked at me, and all I wanted was to see her healthy again; see her happy. I was confused as to where this intense rush of feelings had come from, and I had to admit it scared me a little. I'd have to talk to Rose.

Upon my explanation of the 'snow-day' procedure her face brightened like Christmas morning. Esme and Carlisle watched her reaction closely. I'd noticed that since we'd been back, and made a mental note to ask Mom how Esme was really coping with all of this. It had to be tough. Alice's eyes glistened over soon after my explanation however, and she remained subdued until her brother's awoke and Bella arrived.

"Soooo, what do we do on a snow day?" Bella asked, taking a seat on the couch beside Alice.  
"I've never actually experienced one, you know, having had all that vitamin D in Pheonix." She smirked. It was another one of her jabs at the constantly drab Forks' weather. Alice snorted delicately.  
"Vitamin D? I'm surprised you've even heard of the stuff. You're pale enough to pass as a vampire. Even I'm darker than you and I'm…" She cut herself off there, looking to me. There had been a silent agreement that we would not mention the word 'cancer', or any related words for the entirety of the day. This of course had to be spelled out verbally to Emmett, who, once understanding, jumped onboard.

"Well Bells," Emmett began, "We watch dumb movies, eat tons of food and just chill. Maybe play a few board games or something too. You know."

Bella nodded in understanding, smiling to Alice. I watched their interaction, and then Alice afterwards. It was as if she'd lost her initial enthusiasm about the idea of the day, yet she didn't want to say it. Or maybe she wasn't feeling too great.  
"Also, all that snow can make some people sleepy, so if you feel that a nap is necessary at any point today, feel free." I spoke, only looking to Alice as I'd finished talking. She looked briefly to me before looking away again. I sighed. I hope I hadn't misread her signals about today. All I'd wanted was to have her enjoy herself.

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**Rosalie**

I was confused. When Jasper and I had arrived and explained the idea of the 'snow-day' to Alice she was totally stoked, you could sense it a mile off. Now she sat with Bella as we watched _Mean Girls_, and barely smiled at the witty dialogue. Esme had taken her aside before she and Carlisle left, instructing her to let one of us know if she wasn't feeling well, or if she needed to take a nap. She'd not told me anything whilst we were in the kitchen together, sorting the snacks. Her movement was actually rather fast and energetic, given the circumstances, and she did not seem to be in any pain. She just seemed glum. Had I mentioned that I was confused?

As the movie came to an end I noticed that drinks needed refilled. I untangled myself from Emmett's arms and picked up a few glasses. To my surprise, Alice did the same.  
"Let me help."  
"You sure?" I asked. She nodded, following me through. Still quiet.

"You seem kinda bummed. Is the uh…snow…getting to you?" I asked carefully. I didn't want her to think I was hovering too much. That's the last thing we wanted today.  
"No, not at all. I feel fine about…" She rolled her eyes, finally looking at me properly.  
"It's just…why didn't Jasper bring Maria?"

I'm beyond stupid. Had no one told her?  
"Uh sweetie they broke up last week. I think she was clingy and annoying. Having said that, those were my words, not my brother's. Why?" I asked, raising a brow as I smiled at Alice.

I noticed the light pink flush on her cheeks as she stared into her glass.  
"No reason. Just curious. That's a shame…them breaking up."

I almost choked on the Coke I'd just taken a sip of. Alice's eyes shot back up to meet mine.  
"Oh come on, Alice. I know you're doing your little happy dance that he's single again."

To my surprise, tears pooled in her eyes and it made me think back to what I'd just said. Nothing that would upset her.  
"Alice? What's wrong?"

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**Alice**

Rose was right, in part. Somewhere inside me there was a mini-party happening about the idea of Jasper being single again. I'd let it take control for a few moments and reveled in my newfound good mood. Now we could pick up where we left off when I was excited about their visit home; the visit before I'd known about Maria. We were constantly flirting, spending time together, but never taking it any further. We'd not discussed the idea, but I knew I wanted it. I wanted all of him.

Then my internal happy-dance came to an end as the reality of my situation punched me square in the gut. I was sick. I had no life, no energy, and no hair. Not anymore.

What the hell did _I_ have to offer Jasper anymore?


	19. Truth Time

**Sorry it's taken me SO long to update, but I've been on vacation without my poor laptop, and work is crazy-busy now that I'm back! **

**Please, be kind and leave me some reviews? I adore you guys. As always, SM owns anything recognizable. **

**Alice**

The rest of 'Snow Day' passed quickly, and I knew that everyone could feel the change in my mood. I hoped they attributed it to me not feeling great. The truth was that I didn't feel too bad, and I was pretty sure Rose knew that. I'd been unable to hide the fact that I'd been near tears in the kitchen, and she did not take her eyes from me after that.

Mom and Dad arrived home not too long before dinner, and urged everyone to stay for some takeout. Mom's face fell a little as Rose politely declined on all of their parts.

"No thank you, Esme. We'd like to get back, spend the night with our parents. Bella, would you like a ride?"

Rose's tone, although polite, left no room for argument on Bella's part. Her cheeks, as ever, flushed, nodding as Rose asked her.  
"Well if you are all sure…"  
"Thanks Esme. We are. We'll see you guys tomorrow. Night Alice."

"Night guys. Thanks for today." I spoke softly, not able to trust my voice as I felt Jasper's gaze on me. His eyes were soft, his expression caring.

It was almost enough to kill me.

Truth be told I'd always found it hard being 'just friends' with Jasper. That's probably where our flirtatious relationship stemmed from.

Emmett and Edward disappeared to their respective rooms, but before I could do the same Dad spoke.  
"Not so fast, young lady."

"Huh?" I spun to look at him, my eyes wide.  
"What's the matter, Alice?"

Why did he have to know me so damn well?  
"Nothing. I'm just tired…"  
"No, you're not, you're upset. Talk to me." He implored, his eyes kind. I couldn't bear it.  
"It's nothing Dad, it's not important."  
"Baby of course it's important - "

I cut him off. I couldn't. Not yet.  
"Dad, please. I just need to rest."

I felt my heart squeeze painfully as a look of hurt flashed across his features, but as he nodded I rushed up to my room, closing the door behind me. I hated worrying him. I hated not being able to talk to Jasper. I hated being sick.

I could feel myself drifting in and out of consciousness when there was a gentle knock at my door. Sitting up, I looked to the clock. It was only a little after 9pm.  
"Alice…?"

Dad's head appeared from the other side of the door.  
"I didn't wake you, did I?"

He looked worried, so I shook my head.  
"There's someone here wants a word with you. Are you up for it?"

I tried to sift through my sleepy brain to figure out who would want to talk to me at this time, but as the tall, blonde figure stepped into my room, I realized I'd not had a clue.

"Jasper…"  
"I hope I'm not intruding."

I shook my head again, but upon realizing I probably looked like an idiot for not responding verbally, I spoke quietly.  
"No, not at all. Come in…"

Dad nodded, shutting the door over as Jasper stepped into my room. He took a tentative look around. The place was pretty tidy, thankfully; the disinfectant and the emesis basin on my nightstand the only things that alluded to how bad things could get.  
"How uh…are you feeling?" He asked, perching gently at the foot of my bed. I pulled at my comforter, unable to look at him. I didn't know if I could stand it.  
"Ok. Tired I guess, but that's pretty normal."

I allowed myself to look up at him for one second. Surely one second couldn't hurt, could it?

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**Jasper**

I hadn't wanted to leave. As we did I wondered why Rosalie had been so insistent. I wanted to stay with Alice; to see her smile again. I didn't know why she'd been so subdued, and I hoped to God she wasn't feeling too sick.

Usually I'd be glad to get home, to shut myself in my room with my X Box for the rest of the night, but as I sat on my bed all I could think about was her. She had seemed fine in the morning, but throughout the day it was as though she'd gotten more and more depressed. Maybe us all being there was reminding her that her life wasn't normal anymore; that we were all there because we couldn't go out like we would normally. I hoped she didn't think that. That was the last thing I wanted her to think.

I didn't realize it at the time, but I sat for over three hours, contemplating whether or not to go back over there. When I discovered that it was already 9pm I knew that if I didn't go now it might be too late.

As I knocked quietly on the door I began to have second thoughts. What if she was sleeping? Carlisle answered, looking more weary and despondent than I'd seen him look since Alice's initial diagnosis. Still, he was as kind as ever.  
"Jasper? What can I do for you, son?"

"I know it's a little late, but I was wondering if I could talk to Alice? She just…seemed upset when we left."

Carlisle nodded, beckoning me inside.  
"She was. I tried to talk with her myself, but she wouldn't open up to me. She claimed to be tired, but I fear it's something more. If she's not sleeping at the moment you are more than welcome to try talking to her. You two have always been very close."  
I thanked him, and followed him upstairs to Alice's room. Her door was closed but her light was on, and I hoped she was still awake. I stood back a little, listening to her interaction with her father. By the sound of it she'd been dozing on and off, but as I stepped into the room, following Carlisle's gesture, she looked more awake than I'd expected. With a nod and a small, hopeful smile, Carlisle left the room, closing the door behind me.

The room had changed a little since I'd last been in here. It looked more…clinical I guess was the right term. I did my best to ignore the disinfectant bottle and the emesis basin as I perched on the foot of the bed.  
"How uh…are you feeling?" That question had sounded much better in my head. I frowned softly. She was pulling at the side of her comforter, unable to look me in the eye.

"Ok. Tired I guess, but that's pretty normal."

A sort of hopeful feeling overwhelmed me as she slowly raised her head to look at me. That feeling quickly dissipated as I saw tears sparkling in those beautiful, dark blue eyes of hers.  
"Alice?" I frowned, reaching for her hand. Our fingers grazed lightly before she pulled away.  
"I'm fine."

I took my hand from hers. I didn't want her to feel cornered.  
"You don't look fine to me."

"You think I don't know that?" She snapped, anger suddenly sparking from her.  
"You think I constantly need reminding that I look and feel like crap!"

Her usually pale cheeks flushed as she blinked furiously, looking away from me again. I was so confused.  
"Alice that's not what I meant. I meant you looked upset. You've looked upset all day and I want to know why. And for the record you could never look like crap. Sure you've got no hair and you're paler than normal, but you could have a third eye and I'd still think you were beautiful."

I came to an abrupt stop. I hadn't meant to be so candid, and I certainly had not meant to make her feel uncomfortable. As she sniffled softly and turned to look at me again, I discovered she looked far from uncomfortable.  
"What did you just call me…?" She asked, her voice disbelieving, and barely above a whisper.  
"Beautiful." I smiled softly, relishing the fact that she was actually talking to me.  
"So…are you going to tell me what's wrong?" I pressed, gently.

I could feel her about to shut me out again. Her brow furrowed as she chewed on her perfectly shaped lips.  
"Jasper if I tell you this there's no going back." She glanced to me, her expression serious.

Back from what? I didn't know what she meant, but I was eager to. Anything to make her feel better.  
"It's ok. You can trust me."

She took a shaky breath as her eyes darted back towards the bed again. I reached over, gently touching her chin and coaxing her to look at me.  
"Jasper…what are we?"  
"You mean…you and me?"

She nodded. Her eyes looked terrified, yet so hopeful at the same time. Truth was, I'd been asking myself the same thing since Maria had accused me of being in love with Alice.

I sighed softly and shrugged. I didn't know what she wanted me to say. Did she want the truth or not?

"I don't know what you want me to say…" I told her honestly.

"I want you to tell me the truth. I'm tired of people dodging issues with me because they think I can't handle it."

I nodded. I got that. In her position I think I'd feel the same way. I took a breath, glancing again into those deep, hopeful orbs.

"Alice I don't know how I feel about you, so I don't know what we are. I know we're not friends. Not just, anyway. I feel more strongly than that about you, but I don't know what it means. I don't even know what you want. I just know I want to be around you. I want to see you smile; see you well. I want to make you happy."

Tears shone in her eyes as I stopped talking. She spoke softly.  
"I feel more strongly than that about you too."

I breathed an audible sigh of relief. It felt as though the cloud of uncertainty and melancholy had lifted. Alice smiled properly now, and it was the most beautiful sight. She moved just a little closer to me as she spoke.

"So…what do we do now?"

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**A longer chapter than usual, just to show you all that I still love you! :D Please, hit that review button and let me know what you think!**


	20. Emergency

**I'm so very sorry to keep you all waiting so long, but 3 jobs and teaching applications are rather time consuming sadly. **

**This chapter was particularly difficult to write, and readers should use their own discretion. I'm NOT a doctor but I've done a lot of research, so this is as accurate as I can get it. Much of the inspiration for this story has come from Jodi Picoult's incredible novel "My Sister's Keeper." If you have the guts, read it. It's heartbreaking. **

**Please give me some feedback. Like I said, hard chapter. Nervous! As usual Stephanie Meyer owns anything or anyone recognisable.**

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**Esme**

I'd noticed a change in Alice. Aside from the more obvious, physical changes that had become increasingly apparent over the last few weeks she seemed more subdued, more content. She was beginning to take her treatment plan in stride, just as Carlisle predicted she would. She wasn't _excited_ about the chemotherapy and subsequent days in hospital, but she didn't dread them as much as she had at first.

The change could have had something to do with the fact that Emmett, Rose and Jasper were around much more often now. Carlisle and I had spoken to Seattle University on Emmett's behalf, and they had graciously agreed to let him complete his current semester online. They had even done the same for Jasper and Rosalie. Apart from a week of finals, they were home for summer already. Rosalie and Jasper spent the majority of their time completing their work online in our dining room, so that, I suspect, Emmett could raid the fridge at all times and not feel impolite about doing so at the Hale's. Edward arrived home each afternoon at 4pm with Bella, whilst Alice either slept upstairs or joined the others in the dining room. Such was the new routine.

"That young man is rather smitten, isn't he?" Carlisle spoke as he returned one evening, kissing my hair as he set his things on the counter. I quickly pushed them away and he smiled apologetically as I decontaminated the surfaces again. We could take no chances with Alice's immune system in its non-existent state.

"Which one are you referring to; Emmett or Edward?" I smiled, leaning close to him as he slung his jacket on the back of one of the breakfast bar chairs. He chuckled softly, placing another kiss to my hair.  
"Neither, my love. I'm referring to Jasper. Please, don't tell me you've not noticed…"  
"Jasper…?" I repeated, my head sneaking around the corner to watch him. He was deep in conversation with Alice.  
"Yes, Jasper. You really haven't noticed how close they've been getting?"

I shook my head, peering discreetly into the dining room. Their chairs were practically touching as they spoke, each of them holding a pen in their hand. Alice liked to sketch whilst the others worked. She said it kept her hands busy. As her fingers gently brushed against Jasper's I suddenly understood a whole new meaning in her words.

I gasped, my hand covering my mouth to muffle the sound a little. Thankfully only my husband had noticed, and was now chuckling quietly again.  
"Darling, darling, darling…I simply can't believe you didn't know!" He smiled, rubbing my shoulders gently.  
"And I cannot believe you are ok with it!"  
"Es she's 17, and if you haven't noticed she's kinda going through the ringer at the moment."  
"I'm well aware of that, Carlisle. What if he decides it's all too much and takes off back to Seattle!" I whispered in a hushed, frantic tone.

Inexplicably, the mere presence of his smile relaxed me again.  
"This is Jasper we're talking about. He's a fantastic guy, and if they are getting…romantically involved…you _know_ he'll be the one to stick it out through the hard times. He's a great kid. I mean come on Es, you and Whitney practically raised each other's kids. You know he's good for her."

As my initial panic subsided I knew Carlisle was right. He _was_ good for her.

Everyone stayed for dinner that night. Rosalie and Bella even insisted on having the same steamed, organic vegetables and chicken that I was making for Alice. The boys, meanwhile, devoured my sweet and sour curry. During the meal I felt my eyes on Alice; but then it was always the same when she ate now. Was she eating enough? Was it too much to expect her to finish? The answers to these questions changed on a daily basis. I was pulled from my thoughts as Jasper spoke.

"What's that?" He questioned softly, running his finger gently down the back of Alice's forearm. I shifted a little in my seat to see what he was talking about, as did Rosalie and Edward. Their gasps echoed mine as a trail of dark bruises became visible to us. Alice frowned, placing her own fingers where Jasper's had been just moments ago.  
"Hm…it doesn't hurt." She stated, trying to ease our newfound panic. Carlisle dismissed her statement, moving from his seat to take a closer look.  
"That doesn't matter, sweetheart. Bruising in leukemic patients is often a sign of an infection. How do you feel?"

Alice blinked, looking from her arm to her father again.  
"No worse than usual."

Her reply did not pacify my husband as I'd wished.

"Esme, could you fetch the thermometer from my briefcase, it's in the kitchen."

I nodded, my legs trembling as I stood from the table and made my way to his briefcase. I located the thermometer quickly, handing it back to him as he continued his methodical check over Alice.

Rose and Bella looked to their respective loves, and my boys, kind as ever did their best to calm the girls' worries. I even noticed Jasper take Alice's hand as Carlisle studied her other arm.  
"No fever…have you been coughing at all?"  
"She was, earlier…" Jasper confirmed, gently squeezing Alice's hand in reassurance.

Carlisle sighed, his hand resting gently on top of Alice's scarf. I bent slightly to kiss her head, moving his hand to her shoulder.

"I think it's best to get a bone marrow aspiration scheduled for the morning."

Bella's concerned gasp was the only sound in the eerily quiet room. She blushed immediately, looking apologetically at Edward.

"Daddy…" Alice spoke, shaking her head. She hated having a bone marrow aspiration. I didn't blame her. Long, thick needles were inserted into her hipbone, and marrow was extracted and tested for infection or any sign of the cancer spreading. It was a vital test, but invasive and incredibly painful.

"I'm sorry sweetheart. We have to. We want to be on the safe side, don't we?"

Alice nodded in submission, glancing fearfully to Jasper. For a few seconds a small, hopeful smiled graced her features. He _was_ good for her.

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**Carlisle**

How my Esme had not noticed the blossoming relationship between Jasper and Alice I'd never know. As I looked her over Jasper budged not once, keeping a gentle hold of her other hand. It was incredibly endearing.

As we all moved into the family room to watch a movie I made a quick call to Dr. Young, scheduling Alice an appointment for the next morning. We needed to stay on top of this. Esme glanced at me fearfully, as if she expected me to have all of the answers. I didn't have any yet. Just theories. None I wanted to share until the tests had been completed. There was little point in worrying everyone unless it was necessary.

Around 30 minutes of the movie had lapsed when Alice began to cough again, softly at first. Esme asked her if she was ok, and she nodded. Jasper kept his hand circling her back gently, looking at her every now and then. Her cough began to increase in both frequency and volume at a rate that troubled me. Esme left quickly to fetch her some water as Jasper kept his hand on her back, murmuring quietly to her.

"Oh God, Alice!" It was Bella's frantic voice that drew my attention back to my daughter. A torrent of blood spilled from her nose, trickling through her small, waiting fingers. Edward acted quickly, grabbing a handful of tissues and thrusting them in my direction as Esme retuned with the glass of water.  
"Oh my Lord!" She cried, her voice faint in my ears as I tried to staunch the flow of blood still soaking the tissues.  
"Emmett I need you to bring the car round to the front of the house, now. Jasper, help me get her into the back of the car. Esme, you ride shotgun with Emmett. The rest of you get into Edward's car and meet us at the hospital."

There was a sudden flurry of activity. Amongst the controlled chaos I could hear Esme sobbing. Alice was too terrified for it to register with her, thankfully. When Emmett gave us the all clear Jasper carefully lifted Alice. She looked so frail and light in his arms that it worried me. I climbed into the backseat with them both, still working methodically to try to slow Alice's blood loss.  
"What do we do, Carlisle?" Esme spoke from the front, her voice trembling.  
"We get her to the ER. Call ahead and ask for Dr. Young. Make sure they are on standby with an infusion of platelets. We _need_ to slow the bleeding."

My voice shook ever so slightly as Alice's face grew paler. She slumped a little most against Jasper, whose t-shirt now wore angry red marking. I'd seen this sudden flare up of symptoms before and I knew the routine tests and procedures that needed done.

I never once thought it would be on my own daughter.


	21. Worry

**Before I begin, I'd just like to thank each and every one of my reviewers on this one. I know the subject matter is not easy, and I really, really appreciate you guys sticking with me through this. I try to make the drama and emotions as truthful as possible, which, while painful, is ultimately what I'm trying to do. We have experienced cancer first hand in my family and I never want to belittle the pain and suffering that many people have to endure on a daily basis.**

**If you wish to raise queries, concerns or thoughts with me, please, either leave me a [constructive] review, or a message on my page.**

**There are two very special people I'd like to thank for their continued support with this, but I shall do so anonymously; you know who you are. **

**Gosh…that A.N. was longer than I'd planned! Let's get on with it, shall we? Again, Nik rocks my socks and calms me down before I post my updates. HUGS.**

**Recommendation: Tripod by vampire lover 44. One of my gals knew what I was writing about and urged me to read this. It's OUTSTANDING.**

**As always, SM owns it all.**

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**Edward**

Bella was visibly shaken. She'd not uttered a word since she'd seen the blood; crying out in panic. She currently sat beside me, practically in my lap, her breathing coming in quick, tormented bursts. I hadn't realized just how much Bella hated the sight of blood.

I gave myself a mental slapping. How could I be worrying so much about Bella when my sister was in such a state? As much as I love Bella, she knew my family came first. She'd urged me to sit with her, but we were not yet allowed to see her. Dad was with her, but the rest of us had to wait. The scene waiting for us when we approached the ER was one of controlled panic. In mere seconds the doctors had whisked her away into a separate wing, beginning their barrage of tests. It only occurred to me now that it was as a precaution against the many germs that floated around in the ER. Alice's severely compromised immune system could not have handled that.  
Mom hovered close to the door of Alice's room, ready to jump the moment that anyone approached from the other side. She kept glancing back at Emmett and I, as if she wanted to ask us something.  
"Mom…what is it?" I spoke quietly.  
She shook her head, coming to join us on the uncomfortable furniture.  
"Just…something that your father and I were discussing."  
"What?" Emmett prodded, his hand still clasped tightly around Rosalie's.

"Alice's platelet count is very low; a combination of both the lukaemia and the treatment. They're giving her infusions that are in the hospital's bank, but Carlisle believes it would be more beneficial if - "

"I'll do it." I resolved before mom had even finished talking. Emmett's brow scrunched in confusion.  
"Do what? Huh?"  
"Donate blood. It's best if it comes from family."

Realization was evident on Emmett's face, and he soon nodded fervently.  
"Absolutely! Suck it outta me!" He boomed, holding his arm out. Bella chuckled softly whilst Rosalie flicked his nose.  
"Ape. Esme, if it will help, I'll give mine too." She spoke, snuggling further into Emmett. Bella froze a little beside me. I could tell she felt a little on the spot to help Alice in the same way.  
"Bella abstains. She'll be no good to Alice all jittery and fainty." I teased gently, kissing her forehead. Her body calmed instantly, and mom gave a weak smile.  
"Not to worry my darling. Thank you Rosalie. I'll talk to Carlisle." She gazed for a moment at Emmett, then me, tears glistening in her eyes.  
"You're the best big brothers that angel could have ever asked for."

I smiled softly, extending my hand out to my mom. She took it willingly, squeezing it with more strength than I thought her body contained. Our eyes met momentarily before we both gazed to the far side of the waiting room.

Jasper.

He was taking this badly. I had watched their interactions over the past few weeks and you didn't have to be a mind reader to work out that something very special was beginning to develop between them. I was hopeful for them. Jasper had been my best friend for as long as I could remember, and he was the best guy for my sister. He balanced her out; brought out the best in my already fantastic baby sister.

Now he just looked lost. I don't even think he'd heard a word of our conversation.  
"Jasper?"

My mom's voice was soft, maternal. Here she was reaching out to Jasper when she didn't know even know how her own daughter was doing. Instead of the frantic, panicked mess she'd been on route to the hospital, she was now more Zen; more hopeful. She gently released my hand, gliding over to Jasper and taking his hand in hers.

He looked up slowly.  
"Hm?"  
"We were talking about how to help Alice. Her platelets.." He nodded, squeezing my mom's hand.  
"I heard. I'll do it. If it'll help her; I'll do anything."

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**Jasper**

I'll help her. God, I'll do _anything _to help her. Carlisle was in the room with her, as was Dr. Young and a handful of nurses. I didn't know if they were trying to get the bleeding under control or to try to find the cause of it. The room was filled with nervous tension, every one of us pinning our hopes on Carlisle coming out of that room soon with some good news.

What followed doesn't exactly fit into my definition of 'good news'. Carlisle emerged from the room looking exhausted. Esme was at his side in an instant, her eyes not leaving his face.  
"She's stable. Like we suspected her blood-work isn't good, but that's a given, considering the treatment. Her platelets are at a dangerously low level, so any bump or knock can cause bruising and bleeding.  
"She didn't bump anything." Bella blurted out, coloring instantly as she realized that she'd just interrupted Carlisle. I didn't mind. She only said what we were all thinking already.  
"That's true Bella. Dr. Young is worried that she might have an infection, which would explain the cough. A bad cough can actually damage the delicate membranes in the mouth and nose, which is probably what happened due to her delicate condition. I'll reiterate though, that she's alright."

Esme's relief was visible.  
"Can we see her?"

"Yes love. She's sleeping though, so quiet, ok?" He smiled gently, gazing at each of us as we filed into her room.

She looked so small in the large hospital bed, her features beautiful and serene as she slept. The only reminder of what had occurred hours before was the large red stain on my t-shirt. Emmett had given me his sweater to wear over the top of it, joking that other patients and family might be a little disturbed by the sight of it.

"What happens now?"

The quiet, curious voice belonged to my sister.  
"We wait. They've run tests on just about everything, and we need to see what the results are before we consider our next course of action."

"But the bleeding…the bruising…?" Edward asked, sitting on a chair near Alice's bed.  
"It's possible that the initial rounds of chemotherapy have been unsuccessful in eradicating the leukemic cells. If the tests results show that this is the case, we'll have to up her dosage."

"Up it!" Esme shrieked, only to be shushed gently by her husband. Alice stirred but remained asleep. Her fear was mirrored in everyone else; leaving a heavy thickness of foreboding in the room.  
"Carlisle the side effects…! Her body is weakened so much already…how will she handle it?" She cried quietly, burying her head into Carlisle's chest.  
"Es if this cocktail of drugs isn't doing its job then there's nothing else we can try. We need to explore every avenue. Besides, our girl's a fighter. You know that." He smiled, dropping a gentle kiss onto Esme's hair.

I had to agree. So far, despite everything that Alice had been through, her grace and determination to fight this thing was inspiring. As I looked around the room at the scared yet hopeful faces of her family, Rose and myself, I knew that Alice was in good hands.

Good hands or not, we soon realized that Alice's fate wasn't in our hands, much as we might have wished it was. Around 5pm, Alice began running a fever. 100.5; which to a healthy individual poses no harm, but a compromised immune system made the fever much, much more dangerous. Since we were still waiting on the test results, all we could do was ride it out. The nurses administered painkillers via her IV to try to bring her fever down, but with little success. It almost killed me to leave her when visiting hours closed, but Rosalie and I were not allowed to stay. I'd instructed Edward to keep us posted on her condition, and with heavy hearts, Rose and I left the hospital.

Rosalie fell asleep on the couch just after midnight, her phone still clutched in her hand. I willed my weary body to stay awake.

_3.02am_

_Her fever's spiked to 102. They're still fighting to bring it down, no success yet. Visiting hours start at 7.30am. Edward. _

There was no way I was falling asleep after receiving that text. I spent the next 30minutes on the phone to Edward. He was moving between Alice's room and the cafeteria, fueling his tired body with enough caffeine to stay awake for her. I told him I'd be there as soon as I could. I only hoped that Alice knew that too.


	22. Awake

**Two updates in a week? What's up with THAT! **

**I felt SO bad leaving y'all in the dark about Alice and her condition. I'm also sick, 24-bug I HOPE, but after a LONG nap I felt compelled to write. I hope you all like it. As always, constructive feedback is MUCH appreciated. **

**Disclaimer: If I'd invented Twilight then Jasper would be here making me feel better. I'm having to find a poor substitute in my cats, neither of whom have the longest attention span, so I'm all aloooone. Suffice to say, I DON'T own Twilight! **

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**Alice**

Every part of my body hurt as I awoke. My back and my hips were especially painful. I vaguely recalled the barrage of tests that had been administered, so the pain was inevitable. I felt sticky too, like I'd been sitting in the sun for too long and was finally cooling off. A fever maybe? I didn't feel too warm now.

I stretched experimentally, opening my eyes. It was dark. Aside from the beeping of the monitor, everything was quiet. I thought I was alone, until mom stirred in the chair beside me.  
"Mommy…"  
"Oh, my sweetheart…" She spoke softly, cupping my cheek in her soft hand.  
"What time is it?" I asked, wide-awake. I was guessing I'd slept for a long time.  
"About 4.30am. You slept straight through yesterday." Something in her gaze worried me.  
"What happened? After the…bleeding…I mean." _That_ I remembered.  
"They ran a host of tests, honey. You've got an upper respiratory infection." I frowned.  
"You mean like a cold?" That didn't sound too scary.  
"Yes, but your fragile immune system isn't coping with it. That's why you had such a high fever." She explained, touching my forehead as she did so.  
"You're not nearly as warm now. How are you feeling?"  
"Sore. Tired too. But not too bad I guess."

"Where is everyone?" I coughed softly.

I knew Jasper and Rosalie would be at home; they were only allowed during visiting hours. I wanted to know if Dad or my brothers were here.  
"Your father is down in the restaurant with the boys; he was having trouble keeping awake. Why don't you call Edward's cell, let them know you're awake and feeling better. I'm sure they're rather anxious."

I know she didn't mean anything by the comment, but the fact that everyone was so worried about me made me feel incredibly guilty. The rational part of me knew it wasn't my fault, but that was little consolation. I simply nodded though, picking up the phone in the room to call Edward.  
"Hello?" I cringed at the sound of his voice. Tired. Worried.  
"Hey big brother." I smiled into the phone.  
"Alice!" I could practically hear the smile in his voice, and the subsequent bustle in the background.  
"We're heading back up Ali, see you in a sec, oh and text Jasper, k?" He spoke quickly before hanging up.

I quickly pulled my cell out, ignoring my mother's disapproving clucking sounds.  
"Alice…"  
"Shh it's fine. It's just a cell."

_It's me. I'm ok. Well…as ok as can be expected. I hear I worried you guys. I'm so sorry. Let Rose and your parents know too. See you soon? A_

His reply arrived before Edward and the others got back upstairs.

_I'm so glad. We'll be there as soon as we're allowed. Rest up, beautiful. :)_

My heart fluttered nervously as I read his reply. It always did when he called me beautiful. It made me feel special. Like I was wanted. His. I must have had the biggest grin on my face because my mom was smiling too.  
"He really makes you happy, doesn't he?" She asked, placing my cell back in the drawer for me. I nodded as our eyes met again.  
"He really does. I can't even describe it…I just hope he feels the same way about me…" I was scared that he didn't. I was scared that he pitied me. I was scared that he would try to let me down gently once he saw what my treatment was really like. He'd not seen much.

My thoughts had taken a rather depressing turn, but before mom could say anything to pacify my fears the door swung open and my brothers rushed in, quickly followed by my dad.  
"Alice…" He smiled warmly, taking a seat beside mom.

Edward took a seat on the chair beside me, pressing a kiss to my head. Emmett positioned himself on the end of the bed.  
"How are you feeling?" Dad asked, his eyes gazing over me; looking for any sign of pain or discomfort.  
"Uh, tired I guess. Not too great. But ok." I punctuated the sentence with a cough. His brow furrowed.  
"Your IV is giving you fluids _and_ antibiotics, so you should start feeling better in no time."

I nodded, taking a look at the bag. The tubing snaked down and into the central line that had been fitted in my chest. That had been a tough procedure, but ultimately better for me in the long run. It offered a quick, easy way to top up on platelets, meds and most importantly, the horrific cocktail of chemotherapy drugs.  
"Will being sick affect my chemo cycle? I'm due another round on Monday." Mom and Dad exchanged pained looks. As I looked at my brothers, they immediately averted their eyes. Something on the floor seemed very interesting to them. I suddenly felt very uneasy.  
"What aren't you guys telling me?"

Dad sighed, taking mom's hand.  
"Your test results haven't returned yet, but Dr. Young thinks that perhaps the bruising and bleeding you've been experiencing is because the chemotherapy hasn't been successful in killing off all of the leukemic cells."

I felt faint. I'd been told that killing the leukemic cells was the entire point of the chemotherapy. Scared tears gathered behind my eyes as I listened to Dad continue.  
"What this means is another phase of chemo, but changing some of the components. It's basically a stronger cocktail of meds."

He was looking at me, clearly anxious for my response. Mom's hand found mine and squeezed it gently. I could feel Edward's hand rubbing gently on my back, and Emmett offered a warm smile.

I nodded. I could do this. I _would_ do this. For them.

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**Please review :) **


	23. Solace

**Happy New Year! I hope everyone had an awesome time and is now settling back into school, college, work...whatever :) **

**As I always say with this story, it's a difficult subject that I have experience of, so please, be kind. Y'all are anyways, so thank you. The amaaaaazing koko 23 cat helped me along with this chapter, I swear that gal is MAGIC! **

**Disclaimer: Anything recognisable is the property of SM **

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**Jasper**

As I'd promised Alice, I was back at the hospital just shortly after visiting hours started. My body was running purely on caffeine and nerves but I didn't care. I made my way up to the cancer unit. It was the biggest in the hospital, with corridors for the old, the not so old, and even the little kids. I don't think I could ever bear to set foot into that particular corridor - the children's ward. Thankfully, Alice's unit was comprised of around sixteen to thirty year olds so it wasn't too bad. But she was still one of the youngest.

I stopped just outside her door when I reached it and peered cautiously around it. For all my desperation to see Alice, I didn't want to intrude. Esme was smiling softly and talking to Carlisle at the side of the bed. I couldn't hear Alice so I assumed she was asleep. I tapped quietly on the door as I pushed it open, slipping silently into the room.

Carlisle and Esme looked up when the saw me and waved me over. "Hey…how is she?" I whispered softly.

"See for yourself," Esme said smiling kindly.

I frowned in confusion but before I could say anything, I heard her voice tinkling gently from around the corner. I couldn't even see her but I could already tell she was smiling.

"Jasper?"

"You're awake?" I smiled back, coming to sit on her bed. Alice nodded as her tiny hands reached for me and grasped mine.

"I've been awake since 4am, Jazz. Did you get any sleep?" She said, frowning as her fingers gently brushed the skin under my eyes. "You look tired."

"Don't worry about me, darlin', I'm fine. How are _you_ feeling?" Her concern for me was endearing, but entirely misplaced. All that mattered in my world right now was her and I didn't want her worrying about anything except getting herself better.

"I'm ok. I have a cold," she said rolling her eyes and covering her mouth as she coughed. My heart tugged painfully as I looked down at her. I knew a cold was far more dangerous to her than it was to any of us and my heart constricted with worry.

"What about the test results?" I asked tentatively as the pain in my chest flared again. I didn't understand what Alice had done to deserve any of this; it was all just so unfair.

"We're still waiting…" Alice replied softly, glancing nervously to her parents. Their anxiety was palpable although they were masking it well. It must have been awful for them. None of us wanted Alice to need harsher chemotherapy, but she was their daughter, their little girl...I couldn't fathom how hard this was on them.

The worry in Alice's eyes mirrored my thoughts and I stroked her forearm gently, drawing her attention back to me,

"Rose is still asleep but she'll be here soon, with Bella I expect," I said quietly. "Where are your brothers?"

"Eating. You know Emmett." Alice grinned a little, her hands reaching for mine again.

"I sure do." I chuckled weakly, glancing down as she entwined our fingers. Alice had always had small hands; they were perfectly proportioned with her petite frame. I'd always had big ones and it felt right having her hand in mine – it felt like home. But they were different now. Her tiny hands looked much more pale than normal and her skin stretched a little around her fingers because of all of the weight she'd lost. It scared me and I knew that it was something that worried Esme to no end too. Alice had always been slight, but this dramatic weight loss was devastating.

We all looked up sharply when the door suddenly opened and a doctor approached Alice's bed.

"Good morning, Alice. How are you feeling?" He asked kindly, coming to stand by Carlisle.

"Alright." She shrugged, her tiny hand clinging to me with more strength than I'd thought it was possible for her to have.

Esme stood abruptly and raised her hand to halt the doctor as he opened his mouth to respond. "Dr. Young, I'm sorry to interrupt…would you be kind enough to wait until I fetch the boys from the cafeteria? They wanted to be here for their sister…"

Dr. Young smiled softly and nodded to Esme.

"Of course, Mrs Cullen. There's no rush."

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**Alice**

No rush.

What did that mean? Was that bad? Were things so hopeless that he needed a while to sit down and talk to us?

My heart practically hammering in my chest and I clutched desperately at Jasper's hand; his mere presence soothing me more than I'd ever thought possible.

The minutes ticked by and nobody spoke. My mom seemed to take an eternity to get Emmett and Edward and every fibre of me was coiled so tightly, I was sure I would shatter.

Dr Young took his time as he examined me, asking me how I'd slept, how I felt. I wanted to scream. Did he not understand that I needed to know? I had to know what he needed to tell us.

_Now_.

I was on the verge of combusting when Mom finally returned with the boys. Emmett was full of apologies as they came rushing in.

"Sorry, Rose was just arriving, she wanted us to wait so they'd be here too," he explained as he rubbed a hand along Rose's arm. Edward's hand sought comfort in Bella's and my anger suddenly evaporated as I realised they needed reassurance as much as I did.

I watched Dr. Young look carefully at my Dad, then my Mom, and then finally me as he sighed softly.

"I'm sorry Alice, but I'm afraid you're not in remission."

I heard my mom's quiet gasp and my dad's defeated sigh.

I could hear Rosalie and Bella's hushed tones as they enquired what it all meant.

Dr. Young's voice was kind as he explained the next phase of treatment.

I could hear everything, I heard it all. I was still in the room, but it felt like I wasn't. My body felt numb and tired as my mind raced and I was quite sure it had left my body. The faint, floating sensation didn't stop as I heard my Dad trying to talk to me. My Mom's worried face was inches from mine.

Jasper's hand squeezing mine was the last thing I felt as it all faded into darkness.


	24. Again

**I'm SO sorry it's taken me so long to update, but you know me...work work work! Not fun. Anyway here's a short chapter, I felt bad leaving you all in the dark there for so long! I hope you enjoy this little taster! As always, I only own my plot. **

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**Esme**

The tension in the room was almost suffocating before Dr. Young spoke. I felt Carlisle's supporting hand on my back, as the news was broken to us. Our baby girl was not done fighting this monster, much as we'd all hoped she would be. Her vacant expression spoke volumes; she didn't even register Jasper's touch or words of encouragement. Her body seemed to give out, slumping down onto him. Everyone moved so quickly. Carlisle was beside her in seconds, calling her name and trying to coax her back to us. Jasper moved to Rosalie, his eyes never leaving Alice. I clung to Emmett with all of my strength as Dr. Young aided my husband.

Thankfully she came round moments after the commotion. Her eyes searched the room for her father as she began to cry softly. Emmett let go of my hand as I rushed to the bed to comfort my daughter. Her small, fragile hands clung around my neck as she sobbed.  
"I want it to be over, Momma."

My heart ached for my baby girl. I wished for it just as fervently as she did; but I didn't dare say that to her. I didn't want her to feel unnecessarily guilty. Instead I ran my hand in soothing motions over her back.  
"It will be, honey. I promise."

Dr. Young spoke as the room quietened again.  
"I think it's best if we start the next round of chemotherapy in a few days time, that way it will allow the infection to run it's course."

Alice nodded as she wiped at her eyes.  
"Can I go home in the meantime?" She asked hopefully.  
Dr. Young sighed softly.  
"I'm afraid not, Alice. The risk of further infections or complications at this stage is too high; we don't want to set you back any further than have been already. We'll start it again in a few days."

Alice nodded in defeat, slumping against me glumly. As badly as I wanted her to get well, I wanted her to be at home. The staff at the hospital was unquestionably fantastic, but they didn't know my baby the way I did. They didn't know she liked as many pillows as she could possibly fit in the bed; they didn't know she liked to listen to classical music before she went to sleep; and they didn't know that she only liked her toast very slightly toasted. How could they? They had too much to do.

"You should try to get as much sleep as possible, darling." Carlisle spoke, his hand resting gently on Alice's shoulder.  
"You'll feel better and a few days will pass before you even know it."

**Jasper**

Alice took her Dad's advice. She slept through most of that day, and the one following it, awaking only to engage in dull chatter and eat small bites of food. Carlisle explained that the antibiotics coursing through her system made her more sluggish than usual, but the lack of life about her was still hard to watch. When we talked she replied; but when she smiled it didn't light up the room like it always had. It was a mere flicker, but it still gave me hope that my little fighter was somewhere in there.

By the time Wednesday rolled around it was time for her to start the new cocktail of drugs that would hopefully eradicate her body of any remaining leukemic cells. We just had to hope she was strong enough to withstand it.

**Alice**

I wasn't expecting an easy ride. I'd learned not to from the first round of chemotherapy. In order to kill cancer cells, healthy cells had to die too. It was part of the process. That's how they explained it to me when my hair fell out and my nails began to soften and peel.

I'd naively expected the new chemo to be like the last. I'd done as best as I could to eat dinner the night before and breakfast the morning of in an attempt to alleviate the nausea. The only good that ended up doing was stopping me from puking bile and stomach acid. For the first hour. After that there was nothing else left in me. Edward and Emmett left the room. I didn't blame them. The nurses said that Jasper, Rose and Bella had to stay in the cafeteria. Mom held my hand and rubbed my back each time I retched. Dad moved tirelessly back and forth from the sink to the bed with the emesis basin, murmuring calming platitudes to me as I silently prayed for it all to just end.

Would it ever?


	25. Strength

**I'm sorry for the wait, but as I've always said I will never rush an update. I wouldn't want to subject you to the rubbish I write when I rush myself, it's not pretty. This, I hope, is better! I hope you can forgive me and find it in your kind hearts to leave me some love! :)**

**As always, I don't own anything recognisable. SM does. Enjoy!**

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**Alice**

I was tired. No, scratch that – I was exhausted. I'd done nothing but sleep whenever I wasn't throwing up, but it didn't seem to help. I could barely stay awake when Bella, Rose or Jasper came to visit and it made me feel awful. I know they weren't expecting me to be overly chatty, but I'm sure they didn't have much fun watching me sleep.

My throat had started to hurt over the weekend and mom was terrified that I'd somehow contracted another infection. As Dr. Young explained however, it was another side effect of the chemotherapy; making swallowing very painful and eating impossible.

Mom sat on the chair, pulling it as close to the bed as possible.  
"Darling…please try to eat something?" She implored, pushing the tray of food closer to me. For once I could actually stomach it, but the raw agony each time I swallowed was painful enough.  
"I can't, mom. It hurts."  
"I know, darling, but you need to eat something."

I knew she was right. Thankfully Dad was down in the cafeteria getting me some ice cream and a smoothie – things that hopefully wouldn't hurt too much to swallow. I'd finished the new round of chemotherapy for the time being, but because of the change in meds and my increased risk of infection I was currently on lock down in the adolescent cancer wing of the hospital. I hated it. I suppose the same was true of everyone here. Edward had gotten all philosophical on me; talking about how at our age we should be just starting out in life; not having to worry about anything as horrible as cancer. To see an entire wing of kids my age was depressing. Some of them had a much better shot than me at beating this thing, but some wouldn't make it no matter what the doctors tried.

Like I said, I hated it.

"One chocolate smoothie and some vanilla ice-cream that I managed to sneak past Emmett." My Dad chuckled as he entered the room. I smiled at the image of Emmett noticing he'd been denied food.  
"Thank you, darling." My mom spoke, taking the food from my dad's hands and setting it on the tray in front of me. I reached for the smoothie first.  
"They didn't have strawberry?"

"They did actually, but strawberries contain higher amounts of acid that could further irritate your throat, so I chose chocolate. If you want I could swap it for vanilla?" Dad went to get up.  
"No, no…I just like pink is all." I smiled softly, taking a sip. The cool temperature felt soothing as I swallowed.  
"How are you feeling?"

My dad had taken to asking me this question about every half hour. It was endearing, but somewhat annoying. He looked so hopeful though so I always answered.  
"Tired, sore, but not as sick. I think I'll keep these down."

He seemed content with my assessment, smiling gently and nodding as he wrapped his arm around my mom's shoulder.  
"Are you hungry, Es?"  
"Not really, honey."

My dad glared playfully at my mom.  
"Esme I'm sure Alice can survive on her own for a half hour. There are many, many nurses on the ward. Right, babygirl?"

I nodded.  
"Definitely. Go eat, Mom."

She sighed in resignation, glancing from my father to myself before nodding. As she stood she planted a kiss on my head.  
"We'll not be long."

The door closed quietly, pulling me from sleep. The footsteps slowed as I opened my eyes.

Jasper.

"Hey…" My throat throbbed.

He suddenly looked nervous, shoving his hands into his pockets.  
"I'm sorry."

"For what?"

He shrugged, his feet planted firmly at the foot of my bed.  
"Waking you up, I guess." His face flushed a little as he mumbled.

He was feeling guilty for waking me up? Like I needed any more sleep. I felt like I hadn't seen him in days.  
"Don't. I've missed you."

He smiled, his hands coming out of his pockets. He ran one hand through that messy hair of his as he looked at me. I sat up a little, patting the side of the bed for him to sit. He looked hesitant so I patted the bed again.

"How are you feeling?" He asked, taking my hand as he sat.  
"I've definitely felt better." His face fell.  
"Then again I've definitely felt worse too." I winced, reaching for my smoothie. Jasper gently squeezed my hand as he collected it from the cabinet beside the bed.  
"Your mom told me about your throat. I'm sorry."  
"S'ok. I mean as long as I don't talk, swallow, or eat I mean." I joked, rolling my eyes. Jasper got that sad look on his face again as I sipped slowly on the chocolatey goodness.  
"I'm sorry," he murmured, squeezing my hand again gently.

"Everyone's sorry…" I sighed, setting the smoothie down.  
"There's something wrong with that?" He asked, gently brushing his fingers along my arm.  
"It's not anyone's fault…"

He sighed softly, taking my hand in his again.  
"Can't we just be sympathetic?"

"I guess." I conceded. I'd realised a while ago that there was nothing I could do to stop my family worrying. I only now realised that I didn't want Jasper to feel like that.  
"Is that why you're here?"  
"What do you mean? Because I feel bad for you?" He frowned, but what I noticed immediately was his hand moving from mine. I suddenly felt cold. Lonely.  
"Jasper I didn't mean it like that."  
"Like what? Don't you want me to care?" He wasn't angry, just hurt. I could see it in his eyes.

I sighed, closing my eyes over. This wasn't coming out like I'd wanted.  
"That's not what I meant, Jasper."  
"Well what, then? What did you mean?"

I could feel my cheeks flush with embarrassment as my eyes pricked with tears. I didn't want him to see me cry. I didn't want to ask him what I was about to ask him, but at the same time I didn't think I could cope with not knowing the answer.

Suddenly, his hand reached out to mine again, our fingers lacing together.  
"Alice…please talk to me."

I sucked in a breath, willing my voice to remain as strong as possible.  
"Is the leukaemia the only reason that you care?" I winced, my voice cracking on the final word, but not because of my throat. I was terrified that he would nod.

He didn't. He simply stared into my eyes, disbelieving.  
"Wh…what?"

"Just answer the question Jasper, please." I was surprised at the conviction in my voice now. He merely shook his head, squeezing my hand tightly.  
"No. No it's not. Why would you think that?"

He'd been there. He'd been understanding. He'd been perfect. Now he sighed.  
"You're so good to me…" It was my turn to squeeze his hand.  
"I'm just scared that it's because I'm sick."

He smiled softly, his eyes glancing at our laced fingers.

"The timing's crappy, I'll admit it. But you being sick is not why I'm around. I'm around because I want to be. I'm around because I miss you like hell when I'm not around. I don't care about the leukaemia. Well I mean I do, I care about how you feel, but I don't stick around just to ask you. I could just ask Rosalie if that's all I wanted to know."

He faltered, only momentarily.  
"Alice I'm here because I love you. I want nothing more than for you to feel better, but that's not out of pity. I _love _you."

He gently brushed his fingers across my cheek. His beautiful, expressive eyes looked into mine. He was so close I could feel his breath on my nose. I could feel my eyelids flutter closed as I smiled.  
"I love you too, Jasper."

His lips fused to mine, his touch warm and gentle. It ignited a spark deep inside of me, and I let my fingers grasp through his hair with whatever strength my weak body could muster. Kissing Jasper was unlike kissing anyone else. I could feel everything melt away until nothing was left but us. Nothing else mattered.

I could defeat this monster for us.


	26. Teaser

**Just a teaser. Chapter coming soon. **

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**Jasper**

I'd kissed her. I'd actually kissed her. It hadn't been the way I'd always imagined – ideally she'd not be in a hospital bed. Ideally we'd be somewhere intimate. Ideally she'd not be fighting for her life.

Despite this, I felt a way I couldn't quite describe. Hopeful. Happy. Whole.

Until I got a phone-call that made my blood run cold.


	27. Mistakes

**I told you I wouldn't keep you waiting too long. I'm not THAT mean ;)**

**As always, only the plot is mine. Please, leave me some love? **

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**Jasper**

I'd never driven so fast in my life. I was barely watching the road, and if I had been I doubt I'd have seen anything. I felt like I couldn't breathe. Rosalie's frantic voice was still screaming in my head.

"_You need to get to the hospital, right now!"_

She'd not said anything else. I stood paralysed for a few moments before tearing from the house and into the car. The fifteen-minute drive to the hospital felt like the longest of my life. I pulled into a handicapped space as close to the entrance as possible. I'd worry about the repercussions of that later.

I sprinted through the corridors and ignored the elevators. I could get up three flights of stairs quicker if I ran. The ward was too busy now to run; I huffed impatiently at other patients who were ambling up and down the halls with their loved ones. Part of me was going to go to hell for wishing frail cancer patients to get out of my way, but right now I didn't care. I was in too much of a rush. So much so, that I didn't notice the tall, thin guy until it was too late.  
"Oh man, I'm sorry…" I mumbled, steadying myself as I went to take off again. His hand grabbed my arm. What the…?  
"What the _hell_ were you thinking, Jasper!"

Edward. I'd literally run straight into him. I shook his hand from the death-grip it had on my arm.  
"I got here as quickly as I could! Let me see her, please."

"How could you be so stupid, Jasper!" He hissed, his face inches from mine.

"Edward!"

Esme. I whipped out of Edward's grasp again and touched her hand.  
"Is she ok? What happened? Can I see her?"

Esme nodded silently as she moved towards Edward. I didn't look back as I made my way into Alice's room. Rose sat on one of the chairs, her eyes like daggers. Why was everyone angry with me? Emmett looked conflicted. Carlisle was reading Alice's chart.

Alice. I was almost too scared to turn the corner that would bring her into view. I sucked in a steady breath and made my way forwards.  
"Jazz?" Her small, tinkling voice rang out clear as anything. I rushed to her side.  
"You're awake! What happened? Are you ok?" I searched her eyes for answers, finding that she looked much the same as I'd left her only an hour earlier. I cupped her small face in my hands. She wasn't running a fever. She wasn't throwing up. She actually looked remarkably good, given the circumstances.

She bit down on her lip softly, her pale cheeks colouring as she glanced to her father.  
"I'm ok. But they're worried that I might not have been."

Carlisle cleared his throat, sitting Alice's chart on top of the bed.  
"Jasper…one of the nurses stumbled in whilst you and Alice were…"

Of course. The kiss. She was in here because we didn't want to risk further infection by bringing her home. The enormity of what I'd done suddenly hit me. She _was_ fine, but I could have killed her.

"Oh God…" The words wouldn't come out. Carlisle placed a gentle hand on my shoulder.  
"It's alright Jasper. Dr. Young spoke with us moments ago and said that contact such as that is ok…at certain times. In the week or so after her chemotherapy treatment for example. Now though…it was a bad decision, on _both_ parts."

Carlisle looked pointedly at Alice as he spoke. Alice nodded, her tiny hands gripping at mine.  
"Don't be upset, Jasper. I'm not. I'm glad it happened. We just…need to be more careful in the future."

I understood. God, did I understand. She brought her forehead to meet mine, our noses touching. This was as close as we could be for now. I still felt so far away from her.  
"I love you, Jasper." She spoke softly, seemingly oblivious to her father, and Rose and Emmett. I cupped her cheek softly in my hand, running the pad of my thumb across the dark circles under her eyes.  
"I love you, Alice."

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**Alice**

I wanted to strangle Rosalie. And Edward. With hindsight they'd been fearful for my health, but scaring Jasper like that was _not _acceptable. They disappeared down to the cafeteria with him to talk things out. As angry as I was with them their hearts had been in the right place.

Jasper reappeared an hour before visiting time was due to come to an end. Mom and Dad excused themselves from my room, leaving Jasper and I some time alone.  
"They wanted to apologise. Again." He chuckled softly, taking a seat next to the bed.  
"Their intentions were noble…" I murmured, patting the spot on the bed beside me. Jasper looked at me questioningly.  
"You're too far away."

He moved instantly, climbing onto the bed and wrapping his arm around my shoulder. I snuggled into his embrace, my hand placed gently on his chest.  
He pressed a kiss to the top of my scarf, running his fingers slowly up and down my arm. It was incredibly relaxing.  
"What time does it start tomorrow?" He spoke softly.  
He meant my chemo.  
"After breakfast, which is a ridiculous idea if you ask me…"  
"I want to be there."  
"No, Jasper. You don't."  
"I can help."  
"That's what the nurses and my parents are there for. It's not something you need to see, Jasper. Trust me."

He unravelled himself from the embrace. I suddenly felt cold. Tilting my chin up, he looked into my eyes with those beautiful, expressive blue orbs.

"I _want _to see it all, Alice. I want to help you through every single moment. I don't just want to snuggle with you when you're feeling ok, or make out with you when you're feeling better. I love you. I'm in this for the long haul, and I need you to know that. Nothing is going to scare me off. I promise."

My vision of him began to blur as I felt tears pricking at my eyes. I smiled, hoping to blink them away, but to no avail. Jasper captured it with his lips as it trailed down my cheek.  
"I've got you, Alice. I'm not going anywhere."

That much I knew. He wrapped his arms around me again as I snuggled in. In the comfort of his embrace I welcomed the enveloping darkness.


	28. Fear

**Hello readers! I have an update for you, and as I always say with this one, read with caution. The subject matter is NOT for everyone, and I do not ever want to offend or upset anyone. That said, y'all know what it's about, and constructive criticism or advice is welcomed. **

**The plot is mine, the characters are not. Nik and Koko are my rocks with this one. *deep breath* see you at the other side - please review? **

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**Carlisle**

I had not known quite how to feel when one of the nurses came to talk to me about Alice and Jasper. Yes, Esme and I were aware that they were together, and part of me was happy that they were exploring their growing relationship. Alice needed every reason to fight this, and Jasper was providing her with one. Despite the horrendous effects of her treatment she appeared happier than she had been in recent months. I was certainly grateful to Jasper for that.

I was also fearful. Alice's condition was fragile, and to put her at any risk of infection was dangerous. I felt awful for warning Jasper once he'd returned to the hospital; I could tell he felt incredibly guilty. I'd talked to Emmett and Edward about the situation, it seemed they had been just as concerned as Esme and I. They did feel bad for scaring Jasper though.

Alice was scheduled to undergo another round of chemotherapy after breakfast, and Esme and Jasper were desperately trying to get her to eat.  
"Darling what about just a piece of toast, the nurses say it helps with the nausea." Esme cooed, taking Alice's hand in her own. Alice shook her head in irritation.  
"They lie to get you to eat. Believe me, it does _not_ make me feel any better."  
Jasper, who was perched on the bed beside her, gently rubbed her back.  
"How about some oatmeal? It might be less painful on the way back up…" Jasper offered weakly. "Toast is pretty scratchy."

Esme frowned. She was always hopeful that Alice wouldn't react badly to the concoction of drugs being pumped into her, but she was always left disappointed. Alice cracked a small smile, gazing at Jasper.  
"Oatmeal could work."  
"Ok. Then let's try some." He spoke softly before pressing a kiss to her scarf and getting up. He was going to find the nurse and tell her that Alice would try to eat something. Alice's eyes followed him as he left, before she looked at her mother and I.  
"That boy is rather remarkable." I had thought so for a while, and I felt it right that Alice know this. She nodded.  
"Yeah, I know. I just hope he's ok today. I don't want the chemo to freak him out."

"I'm sure he'll be fine, baby." Alice appeared to be reassured by her mother, squeezing her hand before lying back against the pillows.

**Esme**

I was quite sure that Jasper was an angel. He held Alice's hand as nurse Lucy started the first of three bags. He eyed it warily, then spoke quietly.  
"Is it just this one?"

Alice shook her head.  
"This and two more. It'll be done just after lunchtime. If you can stomach lunch after this." She rolled her eyes, leaning in to him. As apprehensive as I could tell he was, he was willing to be there for her every step of the way.

As with each chemotherapy session, Alice's color drained within the first thirty minutes. Her tired body slumped against Jasper. Carlisle and I talked quietly, but we were both more than ready for the oncoming side effects.

I watched as Alice drifted somewhere between asleep and awake. Jasper did not move; he simply ran his hand up and down her arm. Suddenly her eyes shot open as her body jerked. I was at her side in seconds with an emesis basin, cringing inwardly as she threw up violently. Her body jerked forward again as she coughed, her body struggling to rid itself of her stomach contents.  
I watched Jasper with concern as it continued. Tears glistened in his eyes as he spoke calmly to Carlisle.  
"Isn't there something they can give her?"  
"Anti-nausea drugs. The same ones they gave her at breakfast. They're rather ineffective." Carlisle sighed, perching himself on the edge of the bed and patting Alice's leg supportively as she lay back, exhausted.  
"Try to sleep, darling."

She nodded. The next several hours passed in the same way. Alice fell into a fitful sleep, waking every so often to purge the contents of her stomach. The nurses looked on regretfully as they changed the bags over. They were used to it, but I doubt it made it much easier. Alice finally drifted into a peaceful slumber towards the end of the last bag. Jasper still didn't move. He watched for any signs that she was distressed or uncomfortable until Carlisle spoke softly.  
"This is the pattern. She'll sleep peacefully for a few hours now, Jasper. How about you go and get yourself some food and fresh air, that way you'll be here when she wakes up."

Jasper glanced only briefly at Carlisle and myself before pressing a kiss to Alice's shoulder and nodding.  
"Of course. I'll let you two have some time alone with her, too." He stood and sighed, running his hands through his messy curls.  
"If she does wake up before I'm back…"  
"We'll tell her you're on your way, I promise." I reassured him.

Carlisle and I watched over Alice as she slept. It was a relief to see her resting after the ordeal of the day. The loud rumbling of my husband's stomach interrupted the silence. I chuckled softly.  
"Hungry?"  
"I suppose, yes. I don't want to leave her through."

I understood that. I squeezed his hand gently.  
"Neither do I. I'll go get us something from the cafeteria and bring it back up. Anything in particular you want?"

Carlisle shrugged, stretching a little and reaching into his pocket to find some cash. All I had on me were my credit cards.  
"A sandwich is fine."  
"Alright. I won't be long."

The cafeteria was busy, and as I queued to buy the sandwiches I took a moment to look around. I saw worried loved ones picking at bits of food, optimistic patients conversing with their visitors, and a handful of doctors and nurses taking a well-earned break.

I purchased the food and some coffee for Carlisle and I, but as I moved to leave the cafeteria I caught the familiar face of Jasper, sitting alone at a table near the window. The sunlight shone on his distinctive mess of curls, but his head was slumped as though in defeat. I tucked the sandwiches under my arm as I approached him.  
"Jasper?"  
He lifted his head at the sound of my voice, his face awash with pain.  
"Esme…is she? Did something happen?" He rose to his feet in seconds. I shook my head, offering him a small smile.  
"She's still asleep, Jasper. I just came to fetch some food for Carlisle and myself."

He visibly relaxed, taking a seat again as he sighed.  
"Good. That's good."

I chewed softly on my lip as I set the sandwiches and coffee on the table.  
"Are you ok, Jasper?"

He nodded quietly, looking out of the window. I didn't believe him in the slightest. I was going to ask him again when he spoke quietly.  
"She told me it was brutal…but that…" He sucked in a breath as he shook his head. "That was…" He shook his head again, and I saw tears sparkling in his eyes. I quickly sat, taking his hand.  
"Oh Jasper…" I ran my thumb over his hand.

"I'm sorry, Esme. I can't imagine how hard this is for you and your family. I'm ok."

"Hey…Jasper we are all part of this family. We all love Alice and this is hurting all of us. It's ok to be upset and it's ok to show it."

Jasper sniffed softly as a tentative smile graced his features.  
"You're an amazing woman, Esme. Your daughter is really sick and you're down here trying to make _me_ feel better."

I could feel the colour rising in my cheeks at his words.  
"Well if you haven't noticed, Jasper, Alice loves you. _You _make her feel better. I can only return the favour."

Jasper and I headed back upstairs to find Carlisle talking to someone. As we opened the door we realised it was Alice. She looked exhausted, but happy as Jasper made his way over to the bed. I handed Carlisle his food and coffee as Jasper sat with Alice and asked her how she was feeling and how she'd slept. Carlisle and I watched as our daughter curled into his embrace, drifting to sleep once more.

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**I'd love to hear your thoughts x**


	29. Hope

**Happy Easter everyone! I hope everyone is having a relaxing weekend. I finally go back to work this week, so we'll be back to less frequent updates. Sadness :(**

**The usual disclaimers apply - enjoy! **

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**Alice**

Dr. Young said I was not allowed to go home between treatments because of the high risk of infection, but I was feeling trapped. There was a visitor's room in the pediatric oncology wing, but it was cramped and depressing. The weather had taken a turn for the better and I felt like I was on lock down.

"Mom?"

She glanced up from her book.  
"What is it, darling?"  
"Can we take a walk?"

She frowned softly.  
"Are you sure you're up to it, honey?

I shrugged.  
"Won't know until I try, will I?"

Mom still looked unsure. In normal circumstances she would ask Dad, but he was at home. Edward had a stomach bug and although he was old enough to look after himself, Dad was worried about me contracting it because he had been there when Edward fell ill.

Thankfully, Dr. Young was making his rounds.  
"Good afternoon, guys. How're you feeling, Alice?"

"Better. I can keep food down today." That always put me in a good mood. My mother too, it seemed; she was smiling.  
"Always good to hear." Dr. Young took a look at my chart before checking my vitals. "Your vitals are good, your temperature is a little higher than normal, but that's an expected result of the chemotherapy."

"She'd like to go for a walk. Perhaps outside? The gardens are beautiful." My mother spoke, coming to sit on the bed with me.  
"I don't see why not. The risk of infection is less than in a closed, contaminated area like the cafeteria. I will say, however, that it's not without risks."  
"I get it." Nothing was without risks, but I could feel myself going crazy in this room.

Mom was very patient when I said that I wanted to walk. I was exhausted, but I didn't need a wheelchair. I took her hand as we walked slowly towards the elevator. I sat on one of the benches as soon as we got into the gardens. It felt strange to be so exhausted after such a short walk, but I'd been told to expect it. Mom handed me a bottle of water that she'd brought from the room. I'd just been taken off my IV – I'd been sick so much as a result of the chemo that I'd been almost dangerously dehydrated. Now that I could finally keep things down I was trying to drink as much water as possible.  
"It's lovely out here, isn't it?"

I nodded.  
"Do you and Dad ever come out here?"  
"Sometimes. It's much more peaceful than the cafeteria. Especially when it's sunny."  
"Yeah, a rarity." I smirked.

We spent almost an hour sitting in the gardens before heading back up to my room slowly. Jasper and Rosalie were waiting there when we arrived.  
"Hey! We thought you'd escaped." Rose smiled widely.

I felt my mom release my hand as I made my way into Jasper's arms. He took my lead, hugging me back only as I wrapped my arms around him. I could tell he was nervous about hurting me but there was no way. He was never anything but gentle.  
"Where were you guys?"  
"In the gardens. It's really beautiful out there."  
Mom gently rested her hand on my back.  
"Why don't we continue this conversation with you back in bed, sweetie."

I can't lie, I was grateful to be back in bed. The short walk and the fresh air had completely wiped me out. Rosalie sat with Mom whilst Jasper sat on the bed. I curled into him and yawned as he pressed a kiss to my scarf.

When I awoke again Jasper was sitting with Rose, talking quietly. She was the first to notice I was awake.  
"Hey, sleepyhead, your Mom is talking to Dr. Young. You ok?"

I nodded, using the bed's remote to move myself into a sitting position.  
"Yeah, I think I'm hungry."

Dr. Young and my mom returned to the room in time to hear my declaration.  
"Oh that's good, isn't it?" Mom looked to Dr. Young, who nodded, putting a hand on Rose's shoulder.  
"Why don't you and your brother fetch Alice something from the cafeteria, I'd like to talk to Alice and her mom."

Jasper glanced to me before resting a hand on Rose's back. She winked at me as they left in an attempt to ease my anxiety. I always got nervous when Dr. Young came to talk to us. Mom took a seat as Dr. Young stood at the end of the bed.  
"I've scheduled you for a bone marrow aspiration tomorrow morning. We want to see if we've successfully eradicated all of the leukemic cells this time."

This time. I remembered the last time too well. We'd all being naïve enough to believe that I'd beaten this thing. A few rounds of chemo and they'd patch me up and send me out of the door again. We'd been so wrong. Stronger drugs, harsher side effects and four weeks later we were here again. I was hopeful, yes, but extremely cautious. We thought I'd beaten this last time and we'd been wrong. I didn't want to get my hopes up unnecessarily.

It was a long night. Jasper and Rose had left shortly after Dr. Young had briefed them on what was happening. Before he left Jasper took my hand, stroking over the skin gently with his thumb. He promised he would be there first thing, and he got me to ask if he could be present whilst the procedure was being done. He'd pleaded and they'd relented. He was going to hold my hand through the entire ordeal.

Mom didn't want to go home. She'd spoken to Carlisle, and although Edward was on the mend she didn't want to risk the possibility of infection. Dad had promised he would be there for my test results, and I felt relieved.

Morning came far too quickly. I was grateful to see Jasper again but I was dreading the test, and the outcome. Edward still wasn't feeling too great but he called and spoke to me for a while, making me promise to call him as soon as I got the results.

Dr. Young told us that only two people could be in the room during the bone marrow aspiration. Since Dad was not coming until the results would be in, Mom and Jasper opted to stay with me. I wasn't sure how much Mom had told Jasper, but as he spotted the needle it was clear that she'd not told him much. I squeezed his hand as Mom gripped my shoulder gently. I closed my eyes and tried to breathe deeply, but as the needle penetrated my hip my breath hitched. The test involved penetrating the hip and extracting bone marrow. I could feel Jasper tightening his hold on my hand and he didn't let go until the procedure was finished.

Now all we had to do was wait.


	30. The Road Ahead

_When you try your best, but you don't succeed_  
_When you get what you want, but not what you need_  
_When you feel so tired, but you can't sleep_  
_Stuck in reverse_

_And the tears come streaming down your face_  
_When you lose something you can't replace_  
_When you love someone, but it goes to waste_  
_Could it be worse?_

_Lights will guide you home_  
_And ignite your bones_  
_And I will try to fix you_

* * *

**Jasper**

Rose could tell I was feeling anxious. Dr. Young had wanted to talk to Alice and Esme alone; that much was sure. I felt slightly better knowing that Alice was hungry. That was always a good sign. We chose some soup and sandwiches for her and by the time we got back to the room Dr. Young was leaving. He smiled softly at us and his expression didn't seem to hide any underlying concerns. My anxiety was put further at ease as we reentered the room. Esme looked optimistic. As I sat on the bed with Alice I was prepared to let her speak in her own time, but my sister had never been as patient as me.  
"What'd he say? What's going on, Alice?"  
"Rose…"

Alice's small hand squeezed mine as she chuckled softly.  
"It's ok, Jazz. Dr. Young has scheduled me a bone marrow aspiration for tomorrow morning."

Rosalie hissed softly and I winced inwardly. Alice had told us what that involved and it sounded brutal. We understood the importance of it though; it would let us know if Alice had finally beaten this thing.

Dr. Young returned shortly before visiting hours were over, and I pleaded with him to let me be there whilst they were doing the test. Esme would be there, but I needed to know that Alice was ok. Dr. Young finally relented, but I still didn't want to go home that night. I could feel Alice's apprehension, it mirrored mine, and Esme's, and Rosalie's. I'd spoken to Edward on the phone and he was kicking himself for getting sick. I could tell in his voice that he wanted to be there for Alice when we received the news, but a mere stomach bug was simply too dangerous for Alice right now.

As I promised Alice, I arrived at the hospital the following morning as early as visiting hours would allow. Rosalie and Emmett were going to catch up with us after the procedure, and Carlisle was going to arrive in time for the results, but it was only Esme, Alice and I who sat in her room early that morning.

The tension could have been cut with a knife. Esme was smiling, but I could tell she was anxious. Alice looked exhausted, and I frowned as I sat beside her on the bed.  
"Did you sleep at all?" I asked, gently brushing my thumb over the more pronounced circles under her eyes. She shook her head, nibbling gently on her lower lip.  
"I couldn't…"

I nodded, pressing a kiss to her forehead. I understood it. _I'd_ barely slept and it wasn't my hip-bone that the huge needle was going to be inserted into.

It seemed like only moments later that Alice was being taken into another room; the walls were similar and the smell was the same, but it was clear that this room was used for small surgical procedures – like the little rooms they took you for blood tests. Alice remained on the bed, one hand clutching her Mom's nervously as her other hand found mine. The nurse gently lifted her gown and placed the blue surgical paper over Alice's hip. There was a large, square-shaped hole in the paper, making Alice's hip visible. I tried not to worry about just how pronounced her hip bone was when it was revealed. Dr. Young had been readying everything on the tray by the wall, but as he turned I could swear my knees almost gave out. The needle was _huge._ Alice had said it was big, but I'd gotten the scale all wrong. This thing was at least 6inches long. With hindsight I understood that it had to penetrate not only the skin, but also the muscle, bone and finally reach the bone marrow.

I watched as Alice took a deep breath. She'd endured this procedure before, and I was sure that seeing the needle penetrate her skin didn't faze her. I was just worried about how much pain she felt. A sudden squeeze of my hand and a hitch in her breathing told me she'd definitely felt something. I ran my thumb over her hand as it grasped mine, trying in vain to spare her the discomfort. The procedure was mercifully short, and as they dressed the small wound on Alice's hip her features softened. I let out a breath that I hadn't even realized I was holding as I bent slightly to kiss her head. I could see Esme smiling softly from the corner of my eye. I wanted Alice to have beaten this thing not only for her or myself, but for her parents as well. The little that I'd seen of their suffering led me to conclude that I could never, ever watch my child endure anything approaching what Alice was going through. I wasn't strong enough.

* * *

**Carlisle**

I wanted to see Alice. I couldn't stand the thought of her being in that hospital, much less when she wasn't surrounded by family. Even though I was sure I hadn't contracted Edward's virus I thought it wise to limit my time spent there. I'd never forgive myself if Alice contracted something that'd I'd knowingly exposed her to.

I had promised her that I would be there when the results of the BMA came back. I remembered her last reaction all too well, and although we were all hoping for the best there was no way to know until Dr. Young spoke to us. With this in mind I was on my way to the hospital in the early afternoon. I hoped to find Alice asleep when I reached her room but she was quietly fidgeting with her hands as Esme and Jasper talked. Es had told me that Alice hadn't slept the night before, and as she smiled anxiously at me I could tell just how apprehensive she was.  
"Daddy…"  
"Hi princess. How are you feeling?"

"Tired. Scared." She sighed softly and took my hand in hers as I sat at the foot of the bed.  
"I just wanna know."  
"We all do, sweetheart. It shouldn't be too long."

During our exchange Emmett and Rosalie had entered the room, and although we were now a little pressed for space I wouldn't have changed a thing, and by the look on Alice's face, she wouldn't have either. Whatever the outcome, she had us all.

Finally, just before 2pm, there was a knock at the door. Our breaths stopped collectively as Dr. Young approached the bed and smiled tentatively at Alice.  
"I won't make you wait any longer than you've waited already Alice."

His smile widened.

"You're in remission."

It was as though I could finally breathe again. There was finally a light at the end of the seemingly endless darkness that had consumed us in the past few months. Esme began to cry softly, crushing herself to me as the relief overcame her. Emmett was grinning widely as Rosalie beamed. Jasper closed the small gap that there had been between himself and Alice as he took her into his arms. I could see the tears of relief in everyone's eyes but my daughter's. Hers showed only pure elation; such hope and wonder was written across her features and after months of treatment I'd almost forgotten how incredible it felt to see her this happy again.

Dr. Young glanced in my direction and smiled kindly. I was aware of what was coming, but I silently thanked him for allowing everyone a moment of celebration. His eyes locked to Alice's again as he spoke.

"Your BMA didn't show any signs of lingering leukemic cells, nor did your MRI or CT scans. As far as we can see, you are in complete remission. However…"

All eyes turned to him.

"As we discussed, there will be a consolidation phase."

Alice nodded. I'd explained the outlook if she was found to be in remission, but Rose, Emmett and Jasper were listening intently.

"Consolidation chemotherapy is crucial if we are to ensure you stay in remission. If there is even one rogue cell anywhere in your body there is a chance of relapse, so the next step is routine high dosage cytarabine in three cycles over the next three months. If that is successful in keeping the cancer in remission, you will then only have to come back once every three months for routine checks. Do you have any questions?"

Alice was still smiling as she shook her head.  
"My Dad told me quite a bit.

Dr. Young nodded.  
"Well in that case, congratulations. We will be able to release you in a few days, but for now, I want you to get some rest, ok?"

Alice nodded as Dr. Young left. Although the excited energy in the room was infectious, Alice slumped tiredly but contently against Jasper.  
"Can we go to sleep now?" She murmured softly, her eyes already closing over. Jasper chuckled nervously, glancing towards Esme and myself.  
"We're gonna go call Edward and Bella, and grab some food. That way you can sleep. Does that sound good?"

A faint moan of approval was heard, causing us all to smile as we exited the room. Knowing she would be asleep in moments, I closed the door gently and took Esme's hand as I pressed a kiss to her hair.

For the first time in months, I felt hope.

* * *

**A/N: Thoughts! The Coldplay song [Fix You] was what inspired this entire story. Well, that and My Sister's Keeper by Jodi Picoult. As always, I'd love to hear your thoughts. :) **


	31. Cancer? What Cancer?

**Hello all! A rather short update, but life's been pretty hectic of late, if any of you follow me on twitter. I thought it more than time for an update, so I do hope you all enjoy and leave me some feedback! It's always welcome and appreciated.**

**Disclaimer: I'd be a millionaire if I owned twilight *checks bank balance* Nope, still not mine!**

* * *

**Alice**

The days immediately following the good news were a blur. Remission. I don't think anyone could have wiped the smile from my face if they'd tried. I was released a few days after the test results so that I would be able to recuperate and home and prepare myself for the consolidation therapy that was to begin in the coming weeks. I couldn't remember the last time that I'd seen my parents this calm and happy. Consolidation chemotherapy, or intensification therapy, is used in cases where there is no known cancer cells left floating around; a completely precautionary measure to ensure that I would stay in remission.

It felt incredible to be able to sleep in my own bed again, and not to be woken up by nurses and doctors, telling me to eat and asking me continuously how I felt. Mom did it to an extent, until one morning where I'd been enjoying a long lie. I threw one of my decorative stuffed animals at her and my breakfast had ended up down her shirt and on the floor. Neither of us found it particularly amusing until we'd told Dad about it later that evening.

Now, on mornings such as this, Mom knew to leave my breakfast downstairs. I was particularly hungry, and as I pulled on a pair of sweats I noticed that they didn't sag as much as they had only a week ago. I smiled to myself as I tied a scarf around my head. I could already hear the chatter of my older brothers downstairs, which told me it was at least 9am.

"Hey Pix!" Emmett grinned, his mouth full of food. I chuckled.  
"Hey Emm. What's cookin?" I took a seat at the breakfast bar as my mom smiled, wiping her hands on her apron.  
"Pancakes. Wholeweat or chocolate chip? You can have one of each if you'd like."

"Just the chocolate ones please. Can I have three?"

Edward's eyes nearly fell from their sockets at my request.  
"Three! Jeez, someone's feeling better."

I grinned and nodded.  
"I guess."

As we finished breakfast there was a knock at the door. Mom removed her apron and disappeared into the hallway, returning a few seconds later with Jasper. He moved quickly to me and pressed a kiss to my scarf.  
"How're you feeling this morning?"  
"Well I just finished three of my mom's jumbo pancakes, so I'd say I'm feeling pretty good."

A relieved smile stretched Jasper's features as he hugged me from behind.  
"Well how about we go for a drive today? Nothing strenuous, very relaxing, I promise." He looked from Mom to me. Mom nodded, leaving me to answer Jasper.  
"Where would we be driving to?"  
"I thought we could go down to the reservation, pack a blanket and some food and just chill." He shrugged and I noticed that he suddenly looked shy.  
"That sounds great. Just give me a little while to get dressed ok?"

* * *

**Jasper**

Alice was looking better by the day. Her clothes didn't sag as much, she had more energy, and her eyes sparkled more than they had in months. I could tell she was growing restless in the house but I didn't want to tire her out. La Push seemed like the perfect solution. I chatted with Emmett and Edward as I waited for Alice to get ready. She reappeared 10minutes later in jeans and a tank with an oversized wool cardigan draped across her shoulders. She had changed the scarf on her head to complement the colour of her shirt, and large earrings hung from her ears.  
"All set." She smiled, pocketing her phone as she rounded the counter to kiss her mom goodbye. Her small hand found mine as we exited the house and our fingers laced together. She stole a quick kiss as we got into the car. It felt so good to be able to kiss her again without worrying that she'd fall ill as a result. We were aware that it was all going to change again during this consolidation treatment, but for now I was just enjoying it. Us. We had been to La Push many times, myself and Rose with Emmett, Edward, Alice and Bella, but this was different. Her hand found mine again over the console and I glanced briefly to her as she smiled.  
"What's up?"

She shrugged, her delicate hand squeezing mine gently.  
"Nothing. This just feels really nice, Jazz. Thank you."  
"No need to thank me, Alice. I could tell you needed out of the house."

She chuckled, and it was music to my ears.  
"I love my family, I seriously do, but you're right. I wanted some 'us' time."

We arrived shortly at La Push beach. It was a warm day for Forks, but Alice wrapped her cardigan around herself as the breeze picked up. I placed my arm around hers and began to gently warm her with the friction. She stepped closer, leaning into me as we walked. I chose a spot that straddled both sun and shade so that Alice would be as comfortable as possible. She watched as I lay the blanket down, and curled to my side as I beckoned her to join me.

"It's so beautiful out here."

I nodded in agreement as I watched Alice slip into contemplative silence, lifting her eyes to gaze into mine.  
"Hi." I smiled.  
"Hi." She replied, a content smile adorning her gorgeous features.  
"Have I told you just how breathtakingly beautiful you look today?" A faint blush crept into her cheeks and I stroked her soft skin with my thumb.  
"I'm serious. Healthy looks good on you."

She giggled softly and our mouths met in a soft and lingering kiss.  
"I'm glad you think so." She sighed wistfully.  
"I just wish it was over, you know? Like really, completely over. I'm too impatient to wait much longer. I want to graduate, go to college and just get on with my life. Our lives. I hate the feeling of everything being on hold."

I laced my fingers with hers as she rested her hand on my chest.  
"Not everything's on hold, baby."

Her lips curled into a sly smile.  
"What are you implying, Jazz?"

Our lips met again; this time infused with passion and an overwhelming feeling of hope for things to come. Whenever our lives got back on track, it was reassuring to know that neither of us was on that track alone.

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**Review? x**


	32. Preparations

**A short, but (in my opinion) necessary filler chapter. I'm planning out Alice's consolidation treatment as we speak and I'd rather do it right than do it fast! In an ideal world I'd be good AND fast but let's just settle for my attempt to be good.**

**I don't own anything you recognise. Sadly. **

* * *

**Alice**

Dr. Young had given me a month to recuperate before my consolidation chemotherapy, and although I wasn't allowed to go back to school, I'd been working a lot from home. It had kept me busy and taken my mind off of what was to come. Dad had warned me that consolidation therapy could be just as brutal as the initial chemo had been because it was to eliminate any rogue cells still floating around in my bloodstream.

I had been alone in the house until I heard the sound of a key in the front door. A muffled curse alerted me to the fact that it was my mother, and the thud on the ground told me she was trying to carry too much from the car. I quickly met her and released the bag from her hands.  
"Oh sweetheart, I've got it!" She insisted, bending to pick the melon from the floor.  
"Yeah, I'm sure the melon just decided to spontaneously jump from the bag for no reason."

I helped her in with the rest of the shopping as we set the bags in the kitchen.  
"How much did you buy, Mom?" I chuckled, surveying the sheer amount of food. I doubted that even Emmett could get through this much in a week.  
"Well I ran into Whitney at the store and figured that we'd invite the Hale's for dinner tonight." She suddenly looked apprehensive.  
"But I know tonight is our last night before your treatment…did you want it to be just us?"

I shook my head.  
"No, it's totally fine. Can we invite Bella too?"

My mom smiled.  
"Absolutely."

It was a few hours later when the doorbell sounded. I slipped the large, dangling earrings through my lobes and stepped into the foyer to answer the door. It was Bella.  
"Hi!" I embraced her quickly.  
"Jeez, how do you manage to _still_ look more glamorous than me?"

I raised a brow in her direction. Well, my brow muscle anyway. My hair hadn't grown back yet and I knew I'd lose it again with more chemotherapy, so I'd taken to wearing vibrantly coloured scarves and large earrings. Tonight I'd teamed them with tight black jeans and a red shirt.  
"Sweetie, _guys_ are more glamorous than you are." I giggled, taking her hand and dragging her into the kitchen.  
"Want a drink?"

Mom had prepared roast chicken with all of the trimmings, and the smell was making my mouth water already. I poured Bella a glass of water as we headed into the lounge where Dad sat reading a medical journal. He tossed it aside when he saw Bella.  
"Good evening, Bella. How are you doing?"

A faint blush coloured Bella's cheeks.  
"Fine, thank you."  
"I'm glad. Alice, you look wonderful." He smiled proudly.  
"Thanks Dad. Mom asked if you could come and carve the chicken, everyone's going to be here in a few minutes."

True to their word, the Hales arrived only moments later. Whitney quickly wrapped her arms around me as Monroe chuckled.  
"Don't squash her Whit, she's only little." He received a sharp elbow to the chest for that one as Jasper chuckled.  
"Small but dangerous, Dad." Jasper smiled, pressing a gentle kiss to my lips.  
"Hi." He whispered.  
"Hi." I replied, snuggling contently into his embrace as he rested his chin on top of my scarf.  
"Dinner smells amazing. Did you help?"  
"Yeah, I poured the drinks." I nodded seriously, pulling myself from his embrace as he laughed again.

Dad carved the chicken as Mom put some gentle music on quietly in the background. Edward and Emmett helped move everything to the table; insisting that I sat down and just enjoyed myself. As I glanced around the table I could not be more thankful for the fantastic support network that I had. It was extremely comforting to know that even though I didn't know how the next few weeks would go, I knew for certain that I wouldn't be alone.

* * *

**Reviews feed the muse :)**


	33. Consolidation

Disclaimer: World is SMs. Plot is mine.

**Consolidation treatment – Day one:**

**Carlisle**

The sun had not yet risen as we drove to the hospital in silence. Edward and Emmett were barely keeping their eyes open in the back, but my Alice was wide-awake in between them. She looked so tiny and so frightened that I think Esme wanted to jump into the back seat with her and just hold her. We drove in silence born more out of anxiety than fatigue; none of us quite knew what to say and so opted for silent reflection.

Despite the early hour, the hospital was already full of life. Bright lights and perky nurses led us to what was to be Alice's room for the next few weeks. We had been told, and I had expected, that she would be able to go home after the first week was complete. Consolidation chemotherapy is generally administered over 5 days, and then a rest period is introduced in order for the patient's counts to return to somewhere approaching normal. Depending on how ill the treatment made Alice would be the deciding factor as to whether or not she would be allowed home between treatments.

The nurses allowed us a little time to get ourselves settled. The others; Jasper, Rosalie and Bella had arrived separately and made their way to Alice's room. It was big enough that it didn't feel too cramped with everyone in there. It felt just right. I held Esme's hand as the nurse came in, attaching the first bag to Alice's IV stand and inserting the other end into the port that fed directly into her bloodstream.

It had begun.

**Consolidation treatment – day two:**

**Esme**

Thanks to the anti-emetics, Alice's first day of consolidation treatment went smoothly. By the time the second bag had been administered she was sleeping soundly. Carlisle assured us that it was the best thing for her, but I couldn't help but think that it was the calm before the storm.

I hadn't wanted to be right.

Carlisle and I had stayed overnight with her whilst the others had gone home with the promise of being back bright an early the next day. I was awoken when it was still dark, and it took my sleepy brain a few moments to register what had actually roused me from my sleep.

Alice.

Her tiny frame trembled, and a sheen of sweat covering her pale skin. I woke Carlisle quickly and he sprang into action, pushing the call button. Dr. Young entered, knowing that for another doctor to push the button something had to be wrong. He sighed as he took a look at my little girl.  
A nurse alerted us to what we already knew. A fever. 101degrees. We knew to expect it, but not quite so suddenly. I tried to wake her from her restless slumber when Carlisle's hand took mine.  
"We have to go." He spoke quietly, leading me from the room. I could feel hot tears on my cheeks. I wanted to be with my baby.  
"They just need to check for any sign of infection. There might be none, but they have to check. Then they'll work to bring her temperature down."

I nodded. I trusted my husband and the hospital staff completely, but it didn't make it any less painful. Carlisle pulled my body to his, rubbing gentle circles in my back as I cried.

I just wanted it to be over.

**Consolidation treatment – day three:**

**Edward**

The previous day had been hard. A phone call from Dad had woken me long before I'd expected to be awake. I knew something was wrong if he was calling before it was even light out. My jeans were halfway on before I'd even answered the phone. Bella had spent the night, and woke when I did, a worried frown on her face as she reached for her cell to call Jasper and Rosalie.

By the time we'd reached the hospital Mom was waiting for us, looking tired but relieved. Alice had spiked a fever during the night, but it wasn't as a result of an infection, it was merely an unpleasant side effect of the chemo. It meant that her treatment could continue as normal.

As we sat in the room, Alice slept. I figured it was better than her throwing up constantly, and better than her body raging against a fever, but seeing her so utterly exhausted unnerved me. She didn't even stir when the nurse changed the bag and flushed her central line.

This week could not go fast enough.

**Consolidation treatment – day four:**

**Emmett**

The past couple of days had been rough. They'd also shown me just how much I loved Rosalie. I knew she cared deeply for Alice, but she was so good to just listen to me when I stressed out. I knew she was just as scared as I was, but she put her own feelings to the side to be there for me and I'd never forget it.

Dad had tried to talk Mom into going home. After that first night Alice's fever had slowly dropped and she was feeling a little better. She was still slightly warmer than she should have been and she said that she just hurt all over, but it wasn't anything that we hadn't been warned about.

It still wasn't easy.

**Consolidation treatment – day five**

**Bella**

I'd been spending every night this week at Edward's. I wasn't sure if my dad was aware of it, but I think he thought we were all camping out there. Emmett had been staying with Rose and Jasper so it had just been Edward and I in the house. It had given us a chance to talk about things; not only Alice but also our future. Together.

On day five we greeted a grim looking Carlisle.  
"What is it, Dad?" Worry was immediately etched on Edward's face as Carlisle explained. Alice had woken up with numbness in her limbs and a drop in her blood pressure.  
"She also seemed a little out of it, confused I guess." Esme explained nervously.

Carlisle wrapped a supportive arm around his wife's waist.  
"They've done a physical exam, and a CBC…it appears to be an electrolyte imbalance. It's a relatively common side effect of the medication."

Edward nodded.  
"So what do we do? How do they treat it?"

"Electrolyte replacements are being administered through her IV now."  
"What about the chemo?" I asked. A lost day of treatment meant Alice being in here for longer.  
"They should be able to start it in a few hours. They seemed confident that this wouldn't set her back."

I nodded as I felt Edward squeeze my hand. The next few hours were going to be long ones.

**Consolidation treatment – first rest day**

**Jasper**

To say it had been a long week would be the understatement of the century. To say I'd slept more than a total of six hours in the last five days would be untrue. I was more than glad that it was the weekend. Alice was finally getting a break. Her doctors had decided that she was not allowed home because of the side effects she had experienced and the threat of infection. It didn't matter to me, as long as she wasn't being pumped full of chemicals.

I arrived at the hospital after stopping at Starbucks. The cafeteria coffee was grotesque and I knew how much Alice enjoyed the blueberry muffins at the popular coffee chain. I really wanted to see her smile. As I approached her room I slowed, taking a peek through the glass as the nurse came towards me and opened the door.  
"She's awake. Her parents are in the cafeteria having some breakfast."

I nodded as she left the room. Alice smiled tiredly.  
"You didn't."  
"I certainly did." I grinned, closing the gap between us and pressing a kiss to her forehead.  
"Blueberry?"  
"Of course. You feeling up to it?" I asked, gently cupping her cheek. Although she'd not been sick at all this week she'd certainly experienced a great deal of nausea.  
"Yeah, I think I am." She smiled, breaking it in half and depositing half back into the bag for later.  
"How did you sleep?"  
"Not that well. I miss my own bed." Her nose scrunched adorably as she took a bite of the muffin.  
"I'm feeling ok though."

"Good". I placed my hand gently on her leg. I wanted so badly to kiss her, but we'd been warned that her white blood count would plummet, leaving her far more vulnerable to infections. I would never risk that just to kiss her.

It was obvious that she craved closeness as much as I did, as she patted the side of her bed as she finished her muffin. I'd been sitting in the chair but I couldn't deny her a little more. I sat beside her gently, rubbing a hand over her back. She responded, sighing contently and closing her eyes.

She was asleep in minutes.

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**Phew! This one difficult to write - I know how I WANTED it to come across, and I do hope that I delivered.**

**I don't know how often I shall be updating in the near future, off on a 2week holiday, then moving house/country(!) and starting a new course to become a teacher. Basically, please don't give up on this story if it takes me a long time to update. I will always be thinking about it!**

**Please let me know what you think x**


	34. More?

**FINALLY! - as warned, I'm in for a VERY, VERY busy year. Adding the fact that I have no internet...it makes things very difficult - thank you all for your patience. Please, give me some feedback :)**

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**Alice**

**Consolidation treatment – day 6**

The weekend had passed far too quickly. I'd found an entirely new reason to dread Mondays now, and as the nurse set up the first round of the second week I found myself yearning for my old Monday mornings in Chemistry class. My mom was with me, holding my hand as the treatment began again. Almost as soon as it started, I felt incredibly sick, so it came as no surprise to me that by lunchtime I'd emptied the contents of my stomach six times.  
"Alice, darling I got you some water." My mom smiled, as she re-entered the room. She had gone to get herself something to eat whilst one of the nurses had stood in incase the nausea returned.  
"I'm fine." The thought of putting anything in my mouth was making my stomach turn.  
"Alice you need to keep yourself hydrated…" Her tone was warm but pressing and I was approaching the end of my fragile temper.  
"Mom, I said no, ok?" I huffed, closing my eyes. I could hear her sigh.  
"I'm sorry, sweetheart, I'll just leave it on the side, ok?"

I nodded, opening my eyes again as she stepped out of the room. She was probably going to go find Dad and get him to make me drink it. I saw no point if it was only going to end up in an emesis basin ten minutes later.

**Consolidation treatment – day 7**

I felt awful, both physically and mentally. I'd lost it with my mom, all over a bottle of water. I'd sulked when Dad had spoken to me, and I was even giving Jasper the cold shoulder.  
"Why don't you just try to drink a little bit, Alice…" He persuaded.  
"Because it's just going to make me sick again, just quit asking me, ok?"

He nodded and placed the water back on the table, his hand resting on the small of my back as he took a look to the chemo bag on the IV drip.  
"How much longer?"

"If you're bored you know where the cafeteria is."

A frown suddenly adorned his perfect features as he cupped my cheek in his hand.  
"Don't ever think I'm bored, Alice. I just want this to be over for you, as quickly as possible."

I sighed, resting my head on his shoulder as I felt myself drift into a fitful sleep.

**Consolidation treatment – day 8**

Someone was circling their fingers on the back of my hand. It was so soothing that I almost didn't want to open my eyes. When I did I saw my mom, her eyes were tired and worried.  
"Hey, sweetheart."  
"Mom…what's wrong?"

She shook her head.  
"Everything's ok. You're just a little dehydrated, so they've put you on an IV."

I felt like an idiot.  
"I'm sorry, Mom. I should have just taken the stupid water…"

She shook her head again, smiling softly.  
"You might not have been able to keep it down anyway, and this way it goes straight into your bloodstream."

I glanced to the IV pole, and saw only the one bag.  
"The chemo?"  
"They're going to start it this afternoon, sweetie."

I squeezed her fingers as she placed her hand in mine.  
"I love you, Mom."

Her eyes glistened as she brought my hand to her mouth, kissing it.  
"I love you too, babygirl."

**Consolidation treatment – day 9**

Time seemed to have stopped. I was only 3 days into my second week. There was at least one more to go after this one. I willed myself not to feel as crappy as I had previously; I was desperate to spend the weekend in my own bed.

I spent a great deal of the day sleeping, except for when Edward brought Bella to visit me. She regaled me with stories of our classmates, and gave me a card that everyone in our grade had signed. It was really sweet, seeing Edward and Bella together finally. I teased Edward that it was all my doing. If I'd not gotten sick they'd probably not have had the guts to get together, but my cancer had put everything into perspective for everyone. Life's too short and fragile not to tell someone how you feel.

**Consolidation treatment – day 10**

I woke up feeling even more exhausted than I had when I had gone to sleep. I could barely stay awake as Mom and Dad talked and as the chemo was administered. I was just grateful that I didn't feel quite as nauseous as I had earlier in the week.

By the evening, when the day's chemo was finished, I was still exhausted, and I felt breathless. Mom had paged Dad while Jasper held my hand. Dad arrived, followed by Dr. Young.  
"I suspect you're suffering from anemia, Alice. Do you know what that means?" Dr. Young asked as he prepared to draw some blood. I shook my head. I was too tired to remember.  
"The chemotherapy means that there are fewer red blood cells, and therefore less hemoglobin in your bloodstream. Oxygen isn't getting to your body as it would usually." He explained slowly, inserting the needle into my vein and taking the blood. Jasper kept a firm yet gentle grip on my hand.  
"So what do we do?"  
"It can be fixed with a simple blood transfusion, we can administer it in a short while and with more oxygenated blood in your system, your symptoms will dissipate." Dad pressed a quick kiss to my head as he explained.  
"I'll be back with the results soon."

**Consolidation treatment – day 11**

The transfusion had helped. I wasn't feeling energetic enough to run a marathon but I was able to stay awake for the day without feeling like I was going to pass out. It was Saturday, so it was clear that I wasn't getting home this time either. Emmett and Rose stopped by for a few hours; she'd been shopping and had taken the liberty to buy me far too much stuff.  
"You do know they have Internet shopping for a reason, Rose! How much did you spend?"

She waved it off, smiling at me.  
"I hardly saw a thing for myself, everything I was drawn to just screamed 'ALICE!' so I couldn't help myself?"

My eyes widened.  
"You didn't buy anything for yourself?" My hand reached mockingly for her forehead as Emmett chuckled.  
"I know, right? I had to ask her a million times if she was feeling ok."

She stuck her tongue out at us both before smiling again at me.  
"I just know how much you wanted to get out of here this weekend. I'm sorry."  
I shrugged, smiling as Jasper returned from the cafeteria.

"I think I have everything I need, right here."


	35. Coping

**A/N: I'm in SO much trouble! I have TONS of stuff to do for my course but instead I'm writing new chapters of this? Y'all better love me BIG TIME ;) NOTE: one instance of swearing in this chapter, despite its rating. Sorrrryyy! **

**As always, this fic deals with an illness that is very real in the lives of sadly too many people. This particular chapter is dedicated to Harry Moseley, a brave, loving 11yr old boy who last night lost his 4yr battle with brain cancer. May Harry and his family find peace. **

**Jasper**

**Consolidation day 12 – rest day**

Watching Alice suffer was becoming too much to bear. Five days on and two days off had sounded manageable at first, but Alice was barely recovering from the previous week when Monday would rear its ugly head again. Sunday. I liked Sundays. Alice was far more talkative than she was on Saturdays, and it was as close to her normal self as any of us got to see.

On this particular Sunday we moved the couch that sat facing her bed so that it was facing the television in the room, and as I thumbed through the vast number of DVDs, Alice rummaged around the room to find extra pillows.  
"You know, we'd be comfier on the bed. It's got that whole elevated back thing." I offered as she struggled to fit the multitude of pillows onto the small couch.  
"Jazz I am so beyond sick of that bed that I'm considering throwing it out of the window. I _want_ the sofa." She explained, settling herself next to me and snuggling to me as I chuckled.  
"What's so funny?"  
"You…throwing a bed out of a window. I'd pay to see that." I hissed as she playfully nipped my side. Her punches lacked the strength that she used to inflict on her brothers and I, but her nipping sure made up for it.

We spent most of the day on the couch; Alice napping more than actually watching the movies, but I didn't mind. She needed as much rest as possible.

**Consolidation day 13**

Monday. All over again. It began early, as always. Alice was still asleep, so Edward and I decided to grab some breakfast in the cafeteria whilst Esme and Carlisle stayed with Alice.  
"How are you holding up?" Edward asked as we sat next to the window. I nearly choked on my coffee.  
"_Me? _What about _you?_ It's your sister that's up there, Edward. Don't worry about me."

He gave a lazy grin.  
"Jasper it's obvious how you feel about her. I mean it kills me to know that Alice is suffering, but at least I can find some sort of comfort in Bella. We can talk about everything. You can't really do that, not with Alice. I just want you to be aware that we're all here, ok Jasper?"

I nodded, my ability to speak hindered by the growing lump in my throat. Here was a guy whose little sister was really sick and he was sitting with _me,_ asking how he could help. His hand quickly grasped mine for a moment and I squeezed tight in thanks.

**Consolidation day 14**

I was at home. I was so angry knowing that everyone else was at the hospital. I'd gone to bed exhausted, and woke up with an all too familiar twinge in the back of my throat and pressure building in my sinuses. A fucking cold. I immediately worried for Alice. I couldn't remember kissing her yesterday and I was now hoping to God I hadn't. I called Edward to let him know that I couldn't come and told him to get Alice to text me when she woke up. I'd rather have told her myself, but I didn't want to risk waking her if she was still asleep.

I pulled on some sweatpants and hauled myself out of bed. Dad was already at work but I could hear my mom pottering about in the kitchen. She looked up as I came through.  
"Morning lazybones. You should really pull on some actual clothes for going to the hospital."

I sighed as I opened the refrigerator and grabbed the OJ.  
"I can't go, Mom. I've got a cold."

Her face fell.  
"Oh honey…I'm sorry." She rubbed my back in a soothing motion as I poured my juice.  
"I'm sure Alice will call you later. Do you want me to make you a bed on the couch?"

I smiled in spite of myself.  
"No thanks, Mom. I'm fine. Just not fine enough to see Alice."

My phone buzzed about an hour later. Alice.

_Edward just told me. Are you ok? Make sure you get tons of rest. I wanna hug you xxx_

She was impossible. She was worried about _me? _I quickly replied.

_I'm fine, darlin, don't you dare stress yourself over this. I just wish I could see you. Other than that I don't feel too bad. I didn't give it to you, did I? How are YOU feeling? Xxx_

My phone buzzed about ten minutes later.

_I'm fine. Really nauseous but only thrown up once :) I'll call you when the chemo's finished and I know I can keep something down. Rest up, Jazz xxx_

I didn't get another message or call from her for a few hours, and just as I was starting to panic I got a text from Edward.

_Hey man, she's really out of it – been asleep since lunchtime. No fever or anything so don't worry, she just needs to rest. I'm sure she'll give you a call when she wakes up. X_

**Consolidation day 15**

My phone rang, a shrill, piercing sound that pulled me from my sleep.  
"Hello?" I mumbled.

"Jazz it's me, I'm so sorry I didn't call you yesterday."

She sounded good. Not too tired. It was only when I glanced at my clock that I realised it was 10am.  
"Don't worry about it, darlin. How are you feelin?"

"Not too bad, chemo started about an hour ago. I'm not feeling _too_ sick."

I smiled, coughing softly as I sat up in bed and rubbed at my eyes.  
"That's wonderful, Alice."  
"I only wish I could say the same for you. You sound like crap, Jasper." I could hear the concern in her voice.  
"Alice it's a cold. By definition they make people sound like crap, but I'm fine."

"Oooook…" She drew the word out as if she didn't believe me.  
"I am. I mean I don't wanna climb a mountain or anything but I'm certainly going to be ok in another few days. I just wish I was there with you."  
"I do too, Jazz." She murmured softly.

**Consolidation day 16**

Carlisle called me in the morning. He assured me that Alice was ok, and that he was calling to check on me. What was with everyone worrying about _me?_ It was getting old, fast.  
"How quickly did the symptoms appear?"  
"Overnight, I suppose."  
"Nothing too severe? Do you have a fever?"  
"Carlisle, I appreciate your concern, but I'm ok, really."  
"I believe you, Jasper. I'm just trying to ascertain whether you have contracted a cold or the flu. That way, we can get you back here to see Alice faster."

I smiled. He was doing it for Alice. I was more than willing to cooperate.  
"That sounds great. My head just hurts, and my throat, and I'm sneezing and coughing a lot."

"It sounds more like a cold to me. Do me a favour and check your temperature. No nausea, chills?"  
"Nope, I think it's just all in my head."

We talked about Alice's progress until the thermometer beeped.  
"99.2"  
"Very, very slight elevation in temperature, which would suggest a cold rather than the flu. Jasper, I'd urge you to stay home and rest until the weekend, and then come in and see Alice."

One more day.

**Consolidation day 17**

It seemed that my cold was disappearing as quickly as it had appeared, and by Friday night I was anxious to see Alice. Her consolidation treatment was over for now and I wanted to hug her more than anything in the world. I'd spent the day aimlessly flicking through every channel on the television, never pausing for more than a few minutes on each channel.

Just after dinner, I got a text from Alice.

_No need to come to the hospital tomorrow – they're letting me out tonight! :D Come by any time tomorrow. So excited to see you xxx_

You couldn't have wiped the grin from my face for anything. All going well, in another three months from now, this entire ordeal would be over.


	36. Answers

_****_**Finally, an update. Life has been pretty hectic recently, and I'm sorry it's taken me so long, but this is a special chapter, so I wanted it just right. I do hope you enjoy, please leave me some love if you do! **

* * *

_**3 Months later**_

**Alice**

I was nervous. We all were. My fingers curled around Jasper's as he squeezed my hand gently in his. Everything was silent, despite the number of people in the room. My Dad approached me and I offered him my free arm.  
"Are you sure you want me to do this?" He asked as he tied the cord around my upper arm.

I nodded.

Having blood drawn didn't phase me anymore, but Bella made sure to look everywhere in the room except towards me. Edward chuckled as I smirked. I could see Bella's face flush.  
"Quit it, guys."

"Ok, all done." Dad untied the band, running his hand along my arm as he lifted the test tubes of blood.  
"I'll be right back."

I felt Jasper's hand squeezing mine again.  
"How's your hip feeling?"

He was referring to the bone marrow aspiration I'd had at an ungodly hour this morning. Although I'd been given a local anaesthetic I could still feel the throbbing pain deep in my bone.  
"It still hurts. It's ok though."

"Do you want to try to eat something?" My mom asked, standing.  
"Ok, maybe a sandwich?"

"Alright. Edward, Bella, would you come to the cafeteria with me? We can bring everything back up here."

Emmett spoke as they disappeared.  
"Guys, I know you're not gonna believe me, but I don't even think I'm hungry!"

Jasper laughed loudly and Rosalie elbowed him.  
"Seriously guys, I'm too stressed." He looked at me, and I smiled.

"I know the feeling. My stomach is practically in knots."

By the end of the day we were going to find out if my consolidation therapy had kicked the leukaemia's ass, and none of us could wait for the results.

"So what's the deal if the news isn't good?" Rosalie asked quietly.  
"I stay in treatment." It was as simple as that. We kept going round in this seemingly endless cycle.  
"And if it's good news?"

"Then, aside from semi-annual checkups, I'm done." I smiled. I couldn't help but be hopeful.

We ate lunch in anxiety-induced silence as everyone returned. One or two more tests and then we could go home – Dr. Young would call my Dad as soon as he had the news. I'd seen the inside of the hospital too much recently, and whatever the outcome, I wanted to be at home. Whitney and Monroe had already let themselves in according to my Mom, and were whipping up a good ol' southern feast.

**Jasper**

We were home. Well, at the Cullen's, which was feeling more and more like home to me every day. We were still anxiously awaiting the news, but Emmett, Edward and I were trying to calm ourselves in the family room with a few beers.  
"What do you think they're doing up there?" Edward asked, motioning towards the ceiling. Alice, Rose and Bella had disappeared upstairs almost as soon as we'd returned from the hospital.

"Being girly?" Emmett shrugged, taking a swig of beer.  
"How are you two feeling about it all?" I asked. They'd been nothing but supportive of my relationship with Alice, and it was very hard to forget that they were her loving, over-protective big brothers.

Edward sighed.

"Helpless, I suppose. It's been so hard watching her go through it all and know we can't do anything except just be there."

Emmett nodded.  
"Totally, I mean she's the baby, she's always been so little, and I'd much rather I'd had to go through it all instead of her. It's so unfair."

My attention was pulled to the door, as Carlisle appeared at the door.  
"The food is almost ready. Jasper, can you go and tell the girls?"

I nodded; Carlisle placed a hand gently on my back as I passed him and we shared a hopeful smile. I could hear the chatter before I reached Alice's bedroom door. I knocked and heard my sister's voice.  
"Come in."

Alice and Bella were sitting on the bed as Rose had began towards the door.  
"What is it?"  
"Food." I smiled. "I'd get down there now before Emmett devours it all."  
Bella glanced at Rose and they shot towards the door and down the stairs as Alice chuckled.  
"Hey."  
"Hey. You look lovely."

Her cheeks reddened.  
"Thanks Jazz. Rosalie is always a little curious around my makeup collection."  
He smiled, wrinkling his nose.  
"And your perfume collection too, it would seem."  
"Come on, let's get some food." She smiled, getting up and taking my hand.

We made our way downstairs, greeted by the entire family at the dinner table. Emmett was fidgeting; Esme had no doubt told him not to tuck in until everyone was present.  
"Hurry it up, Alice, I'm starving!"

She giggled, making a show of taking a long time to choose between the two vacant seats as Bella bit her lip to keep from laughing.  
"I swear Pix, unless you want to wear the chicken, get your butt onto one of those seats."  
"Sit, darlin', I think he means business." I chuckled.

Alice finally sat, sticking her tongue out at Emmett. Just as he reached for his food, the shrill sound of the phone echoed through the house.

No one moved. Not for what seemed like a whole minute. Carlisle stood, approaching the phone.  
"Cullen residence. Good evening Dr. Young."

Alice's tiny hand found mine underneath the table and all chatter stopped. This was it.

Carlisle moved back towards the table.

"Yes, here she is. Alice, he wants to speak to you."

I gave her hand another squeeze as she took the phone from her dad.  
I couldn't hear Dr. Young on the other end of the phone, but all eyes were on Alice. Her large, blue eyes filled with tears that threatened to break free and trickle down her face.

**Alice**

"_Alice, good evening. I know you're all anxious to know the results, so I won't keep you waiting. Your tests have all come back clean. You're cancer free."_

My vision had clouded, and as Jasper squeezed my hand the tears escaped, running in happy lines down my cheeks.

"_Aside from the check-ups that we discussed, you are completely done. Congratulations, Alice. Enjoy tonight with your family."_

With that he was gone. The faces of my family stared anxiously back at me. A lump quickly formed in my throat as I looked at them. I knew, without a doubt, that I couldn't have made it without each and every one of them.

"I'm clear."

The room erupted in cheers, tears and laugher, as they all embraced me.

My eyes met Jasper's and our lips locked in a kiss that was full of the future.

Together, we had done it.

* * *

**This is IT, guys! Save from the epilogue, we have come to the end of Alice's journey. Stay tuned for the FINAL chapter! **


	37. The Endpart 1

**Those of you who follow me on twitter know just how crazy my life has been lately - ANYWAY... this epilogue will have two parts. Here's part one. Twilight belongs to Stephanie Meyer. **

* * *

**5 Years Later – _A glimpse of the future_**

"Can you fix my tie, babe?"

I smiled as I fixed my shoes. Jasper was hopeless with ties, which was why I knew exactly how to fix one.

I stepped out of the bathroom and smiled. Jasper looked so handsome in a tux. He grinned as he saw me.  
"Babe, you look…incredible…"  
"Thanks. Gosh I'm so nervous. What if everything doesn't go perfectly? They're going to hate me forever…"

Jasper laughed as I finished up, taking my face in his large, soft hands.  
"Alice…they both hate you already. They want this day over. They wanted an appointment at City Hall, not a huge white wedding".  
I sighed, leaning in to kiss him.  
"Bella is impossible. I want them to be able to tell their kids about this one day, not that Mommy and Daddy signed a boring piece of paper in a boring stuffy City Hall office!"

"Which is why your parents will love you forever, even if Bella and Edward never speak to you again." Jasper smirked, sitting on the bed to put his shoes on.  
"You're so mean. I'm gonna barf, I'm so nervous."

"Everything's gonna be fine, sweetheart."

**A&J**

I felt like I was going to faint the entire way through the wedding – Bella's nerves were contagious, and it wasn't until the reception that I started feeling better. They were both very relaxed now that the scary wedding part was actually over, and Edward approached me with the biggest grin I'd ever seen on his face.  
"Ok, ok, you were right."  
"I usually am."

He wrapped his arms around me, kissing the top of my head.  
"Hey! Watch the hair…"

He chuckled. 5 years on, I was healthy and still getting semi-annual check-ups, but I'd not grown my hair back. It sat close to my head, spiked out in every direction. I'd decided with Jasper not to grow it back out – he liked the sexy bed-head-morning hair I always sported and I was more than willing to leave it that way for him.

A few minutes later, there was a hand on my back and Edward smiled.  
"I guess I should find my wife. She's all yours, Jasper."

His arms enveloped me and I breathed in his scent.  
"You did it."  
"Yes, I did."  
"Still wasn't as good as wedding…"

He kissed my neck as I looked to the ring that sparkled on my finger. So far it had been the best 6 months of my life, and I knew Jasper felt the same way. My heart started to race as his hands travelled lower.  
"Hey…none of that here…my parents are watching…" I whispered, catching my Dad's eye.  
"They wouldn't be if we snuck off to the bathroom…"

I pulled away and swatted his chest.  
"I am _not_ sneaking off from my brother's wedding to have icky bathroom sex! You know how I feel about bathroom sex…"

He chuckled, grabbing my hand and kissing it.  
"Oh I know. You're so easy to tease."  
"You're going to pay for that later…"

**A&J**

Emmett had married Rosalie just after I was finished my treatment, and they'd had their first child two years ago, a boy called Matthew Eric Cullen. I adored having a nephew and so did Jasper, we'd talked about kids and the possibility of them in the future, but my Dad had warned me that after such extensive treatment the chances of me being able to conceive were slim.

Bella had discovered she was pregnant a month before the wedding, and to know that I was going to be an aunt for the second time made me so excited. I was hoping for a little girl this time so that I'd be able to go nuts on the shopping front.

"Why can't you be just as excited for another boy?" Jasper asked as we drove back to our apartment after an evening at Rose and Emmett's.  
"Uggs, Jasper. Uggs."

"Ugg?"  
"_Uggs_. You know, the boots I have in just about every colour that you don't like?"

Jasper chuckled. He _hated_ my love of Uggs, but as I tried to explain, Jimmy Choo's were not comfortable every single day.  
"They make those things for babies?"  
"Yes, and they're super cute."

Jasper groaned.  
"Of course they are."

"Plus it'd be nice to have one of each, a nephew and a niece."

**A&J**

"It's going to be so nice having everyone under one roof." My mum smiled, handing me another bauble. We were celebrating Christmas with Jasper's parents, Bella's Dad and my parents, and each of us and I was so excited.

The house was almost completely decorated by the time Jasper arrived with Rose and Emmett. I was exhausted and his embrace was comforting.  
"The place looks great. Rose is going to help Esme with the dinner, you want to watch a movie in the family room?"

Jasper picked _The Holiday_ for us to watch, and a few minutes into the film Edward and Bella appeared.  
"Hey, mind if we join you?"  
"Not at all, how're you doing?"

Bella smiled, taking my hand and placing it on her expanding belly.  
"It's kicking."

"_She's_ kicking." Edward smirked.

_He's_ kicking." Bella corrected.

Jasper chuckled.  
"You two are never going to make it until the birth to find out the sex of the baby."  
"Not with Alice's freaky ability to predict the future."  
"Edward just because I guessed Rose was having a boy doesn't mean I'm psychic."  
"Whatever, weirdo."

We slept at my parents' house that night and then planned to spend the day with drinks and presents. It was already very light when I woke up, with the feeling of Jasper's fingers running through my hair.  
"Mm, that feels nice."  
"Yeah, sleepyhead?"  
"Mhm, what time is it?"  
"Almost 11. Even Emmett's awake." He smiled, kissing my forehead.  
"Oh my gosh what's wrong with me?" I giggled, sitting up and yawning as Jasper kissed me more passionately.  
"Morning."  
"Mmm, morning. You think we could pretend I'm still asleep for the next fifteen minutes?"

"Absolutely." Jasper chuckled, cupping my face in his hand as he came under the covers with me again.

**A&J**

"You've been awfully quiet today."

I was out on the porch, relaxing after our Christmas dinner when my mom arrived with two steaming cups of cocoa.

"Just tired. Thanks." I took the cup, cradling it in my hands and soaking in the smell of chocolaty goodness.

"_I've never known you to sleep for that long unless you're unwell. Are you sure you're feeling alright?" _

"Alice?"  
"Hmm?"  
"Did you hear a word I just said?"

_"Alice…it's not normal for you to be this tired, not with the amount of sleep you're getting at the moment."_

"Alice?"  
"Sorry…"

_I felt my anxiety levels start to rise I tried to focus on the questions Dr. Young was asking me. "Have you felt unusually tired lately?"_

I couldn't focus on anything else she was saying as I practically threw the cup from my hands and disappeared inside the house.  
"Jasper? Jasper!"

_No._

He appeared from the kitchen, Edward's head poking out as well.  
"What is it?"

_No._

I could feel my hands shaking as he came towards me. I latched on quickly and took him upstairs. I could feel the bile rising in my mouth as I reached the bathroom. I knelt by the toilet and tried to control my breathing.  
"Alice?"

_No. No. No._

I shook my head, willing myself not to throw up. Jasper's hand rubbed gently over my back.  
"Talk to me…" He murmured, his brows knitting together.

My voice caught in my throat as my eyes locked with his.

"It's back Jasper. The cancer's back."


	38. The End

**This is it, folks. The end! :( I just want to thank every single one of my readers and reviewers... :) (blah blah, I still own nothing!)**

**This fic has been a particularly cathartic experience, and I'm so touched that others have enjoyed the journey.**

**This last chapter is dedicated to my friend's Dad, who sadly lost his short and brutal battle with cancer last month. x**

* * *

**"It's back Jasper. The cancer's back."**

The hand that was moving calming circles on my back suddenly stopped, and Jasper's eyes darkened.  
"Alice…"

"It's back, Jasper. It is. Even since before Bella's wedding…I've been so tired, and…"  
"Babe that could be anything. Stress, lack of sleep…"

I shook my head vehemently.  
"No! Jasper I _know_ what it feels like. I still remember…" I felt a lump forming in my throat.

"It's back, Jasper."

He sighed. "We should talk to your dad…"  
"No." I tried to stop my voice from trembling as a tear made its way down my cheek.  
"I don't want to ruin their Christmas".  
"Hey…ssshhh." He cupped my face in his hand, his thumb stroking away the tear on my cheek.

His arms wrapped around me, pulling me close as my resolve began to crumble.

Jasper spent the rest of the evening in bed with me, whispering calm, soothing words in my ear. I didn't hear a word – it was as if I was seventeen again, it was all so familiar, but at the same time, just as daunting as before.

"I need to get blood work done." I said quietly.  
"I want to know how advanced it is before I tell them…"

Jasper ran his hand up and down my arm.  
"You're sure you don't want your dad to know? I don't know how he'll take it if we just tell him later."  
"I know…" I sighed. I was torn. Part of me knew that Jasper was right, but I didn't want them to feel that horrific, clawing worry that was eating me up. Not until we knew how advanced it was.  
"I just want to do this."

Jasper nodded.  
"My guess is that they're worried already, Alice. You sort of disappeared and we've been up here for hours. Maybe we should at least make an appearance…"

His eyes searched mine as his hand caressed my cheek. I knew he was right, but summoning the courage to go downstairs and make small talk to my family whilst this was weighing on me seemed nearly too much.

"I'll come down with you, it'll be ok."

I took a deep breath, letting Jasper pull me up and wrap his arms around me.

I swear I must have been crushing his hand as we headed down the stairs, but he didn't say anything. My mom approached us almost immediately.  
"Alice, darling, there you are. Are you two alright? You disappeared rather quickly."

Emmett chuckled.  
"Don't worry mom, they're married. They were up there do – "  
"Emmett!" Rose elbowed him, smirking.

I forced a sheepish smile onto my face.  
"Emmett's right. Sorry we disappeared…"

My mom blushed, apologising. I felt awful for lying to her but remembering her reaction to my initial diagnosis made me not feel like such a bitch.

My Dad spoke up as we all headed to the family room.  
"Who wants some wine? Red or white."  
"Red, please." I spoke. I knew I wouldn't be able to drink again when I was in treatment, so I figured I'd make the most of it now.  
He smiled, handing me a glass.  
"What does everyone have planned for tomorrow? We'd like to have a big brunch at about noon."

"That sounds nice." Bella smiled. "We're totally free."

I squeezed Jasper's hand as I spoke.  
"We were going to go for a walk, maybe before brunch." Jasper's hand squeezed mine back, and I knew we were on the same page. This way, we could go to the hospital and get some tests done before having to break any news to them.

* * *

I woke early the next morning. I'd been dozing on and off all night, unable to actually let myself rest until we knew more. Jasper was taking a quick shower when Rose walked in with Matthew.

"Hey…gosh you two are up early. Going for a walk now?"

I smiled, reaching out for Matthew's little onsie-glad feet and making him giggle.  
"Yeah. We just figured we'd be too full and lazy later on."

Rose looked down at my leggings and t-shirt.  
"Leggings, Alice? For a walk? There's snow on the ground and you're going to freeze your butt off in leggings?"  
I froze, letting go of my nephew's foot.  
"I uh…"

She raised her brow, shifting Matthew on her hip.  
"Alice what's going on? Jasper was looking pretty spooked all night and you're clearly not going for a walk."

"We're uh…we're going to the hospital."

Concern covered her features.  
"What's happened?"  
I took a breath, willing my voice to remain steady.  
"I think it's back, Rose."

Tears quickly clouded her eyes.  
"Wh…why? Why do you think that? How long have you thought it?"

"It just hit me yesterday. I've been feeling off since before Bella and Edward's wedding, and it's just…I remember what it feels like but I didn't want to say anything until I was sure…until we know more."

She bit her lip, cuddling Matthew close.  
"I get it. Just...just go and get checked out. You might be worried about nothing."

I managed a small smile.  
"Yeah. Maybe."

I watched as Rose left down the hall with my nephew. Every fibre of my being hoped that she was right, but part of me knew better than to be hopeful.

I relaxed a little as I felt Jasper's arms snake around my waist.  
"Ready?"

I sighed.  
"As I'll ever be."

**A&J**

The oncology waiting room was uncomfortably familiar. It was fairly quiet given the holiday season, which I was thankful for. Jasper's hand held mine, stroking in calming motions.

Although it had been five years, I could recognise Dr. Young anywhere. His smile was inviting yet sad.  
"Alice…I wish I could say it was good to see you…but I doubt you're happy to see me."

I stood, smiling softly as we shook hands.  
"Not really a pleasure, no…"

He noticed the wedding ring on my hand and Jasper's hand on my back.  
"I see you two made it official. Congratulations."  
"Thank you."

Jasper locked hands with me.  
"How do we proceed?"

Dr. Young spoke, looking to both of us.  
"The nurses will run some tests…full blood work, urine tests, a CT to be sure…and we can discuss the results. We want to keep on top of this. Once this results come through we'll schedule you for a bone marrow aspiration."

I could only nod. I remembered it all too well.  
"You two can make your way to room 120, the nurse is waiting for you, and when she's done, I'll meet you back out here. Does that sound ok?"

I nodded again, maintaining my vice-like grip on Jasper's hand as we made our way to room 120.

The blood and urine tests were quick enough, but we had to wait for me to be taken down to CT.  
"We can do this." Jasper spoke softly, coming to sit on the exam table with me. I smiled, leaning my head on his shoulder.  
"I love you, Jasper. So much."  
I lifted my head again.  
"We can do this. Together." I reached in, our lips meeting in a chaste kiss.

Jasper wasn't allowed in the room with me for the CT, but I could practically feel him fidgeting outside the door.  
"You've got a very attentive husband there." The nurse smiled.  
"I know."  
"How long have you been married?"  
"Six months."  
"Aw, newly weds. Let's hope these results are clean." She spoke kindly.

"Yeah…"

**A&J**

We'd arrived in the hospital over two hours ago, and we were finally sitting back in the oncology waiting room. I hoped my parents weren't too concerned about our very 'long walk' and I was hoping that Rose could think quickly on her feet if they brought up how long we'd been gone.

We hadn't been waiting long when Dr. Young approached us again, this time with a second doctor. Jasper's hand tightened its grip on mine. This couldn't be good.

They took their positions in the seats directly across from us. Dr. Young spoke. "Alice, Jasper…this is Dr. Emma Wills."  
"It's a pleasure to meet both of you." She smiled kindly. I merely nodded as she shook our hands. I just wanted them to get to the point.

She smiled at Dr. Young before speaking.  
"Your blood-work showed the presence of hCG. Do you know what that is?"

I shook my head. I gazed to Jasper, who looked just as perplexed.

"It stands for human chorionic gonadotropin. It is a glycoprotein hormone produced during pregnancy."

"Pregnancy?" My voice sounded small…disconnected from my body.  
Dr. Young smiled widely.

"You are still cancer free, Alice. _And _you're pregnant. Congratulations."

_Fin_


End file.
